


Sanditon Season 2: opportunities, choices & Sidney's rescue

by Aaf



Series: The river flows to Sanditon. [1]
Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: Multi, Period-Typical Racism, Slavery, Women's Rights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 73,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25695493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaf/pseuds/Aaf
Summary: Charlotte is invited to London by Lady Worcester together with her sister Allison. She quarrels with her parents over the advantages and threats of such a high society friend and the necessity to find a suitable husband.
Relationships: Alison Heywood/James Stringer, Arthur Parker & William Heywood, Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker, Clara Brereton/Mr. Crowe, Eliza Campion & Edward Denham, Georgiana Lambe & Sidney Parker, Georgiana Lambe/Otis Molyneux
Series: The river flows to Sanditon. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869760
Comments: 123
Kudos: 139





	1. Lady Worcester’s invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte is invited to London by Lady Worcester together with her sister Allison. She quarrels with her parents over the advantages and threats of such a high society friend and the necessity to find a suitable husband.

It was the end of august. It had been more than a month since Charlotte had returned home from Sanditon. She had spent her time telling her siblings of all the wonders of the seaside town, strolling much outdoors, admiring the calves and foals that had been born since she had left Willingden last Spring, while the harvest season was setting in. She had helped picking berries and making jam of them. She had picked apricots to dry. She had filled little bags with dried flowers to put in the linen cupboard. When she had watched the farmhands harvesting the wheat that had been waving in the wind, it had reminded her of the waves on the sea. Her mind would drift off to her walks on the Sanditon beach, again feeling the sand under her feet, the touch of the cold water during her sea baths. And each time she would see _his_ image again. She would try to stop herself before she remembered his smile after the cricket, their walk together on the beach after they had come up with the idea for a regatta, seeing his body rising out of the water, feeling his kiss on the cliff tops.

“Charlotte?” she heard her mother say. Charlotte looked up. She had been sitting in the window seat of the room she shared with Allison with a book in her hands, but her eyes had been wandering out the window, overlooking the fields being showered with rain, while downstairs her siblings had gathered in the drawing room to play games, and sing to the melody played by Allison on the pianoforte.

“What is it, mama?”

“Are you all right, dear? You seem a little out of spirits since your return. I hope you do not find us dull after your experience in Sanditon?”

“Oh no, mama, our family could never be called dull, for there are so many of us and anything can happen any time.” Charlotte said with only a small touch of sarcasm. Though still nothing extraordinary happened in Willingden, there was something soothing and reassuring in the predictable rhythm of events. The harvest season was one of the busiest times of the year and whenever her melancholy made her drift off too far in her mind, there was always a sibling who demanded her attention to play a game, sing along or needed her help with putting a thread through a needle. Or else there was an animal outdoors who gently asked her attention. She would go to the stables and caress the horses, she would take one of the dogs in her lap and thus quiet her hunger for _his_ touch.

“It’s just that you are so quiet and keeping to your room so much.” Mrs. Heywood remarked with some concern in her voice.

“Do not worry, mama, I just need to put my mind to rest after so many months of excitement.” Charlotte responded reassuringly, forcing a smile, not wishing to share her state of mind with a mother who seldom understood her. “What do you have for me there? Another letter from my friend Miss Lambe?” she asked.

“Well, it does seem a letter from a rather fortunate lady, for it is lavender scented.” Mrs. Heywood replied with puzzled curiosity.

Charlotte looked at the handwriting, but she did not recognise it. She opened the letter. Much to her mother’s satisfaction her face lit up. “It is from my dear friend Lady Worcester!”

Mrs. Heywood looked surprised. Although Charlotte had mentioned having met this grand lady, she had not expected Charlotte to so intimately acquainted and receive personal letters from her. She left Charlotte alone and reminded her that tea would be served in half an hour.

Charlotte went on, reading the letter.

_My dear Charlotte,_

_I hope you are well, despite recent developments concerning the big fire at Sanditon which has left more in ruins than mere buildings. Am I to understand that Mr. P.’s betrothal to Mrs. C. was forged to save his family from a dreadful fate? A sign of his good character, sense of duty and loyalty perhaps, but I dare say he is untrue to his own heart. Was there no other way?_

_Please do not be disheartened. Every romance has obstacles that need clearing, this might just be one of them. And however permanent his commitment to Mrs. C. may appear, there is still hope. They are yet to be married. Mrs. Campion’s ambitions for the wedding are such, that it cannot be arranged before next Spring, though Mr. P.’s family may wish to speed up the event, as anything may happen in the time that passes. I do not wish to trouble you further on the subject, but remember: the race is not yet run. You might still have a chance at happiness, one way or the other, and I am determined to help you find it._

_I know you do not care much for London and its ways. Nevertheless I would like you to invite you to stay with me in Bayswater Road during the season, till I leave for Scotland at the start of December to accompany a special friend to his estate there. Your company seems to me as very pleasing and refreshing in this otherwise tedious environment. And do bring your sister Allison; you have described her so delightfully, I cannot but be curious about her. I could introduce you both further in society; after all young ladies need to be taken out of their village at least once in their lives for want of potential partners. At the very least I might offer you some distraction from your current toils and lift your spirits. If you do not care for London’s balls and operas, you might indulge yourself learning about the latest innovations and discoveries in the British Museum or reading all there is to read in my library. I take it your father has no objection to your learning about science? Please accept my offer to send a coach to fetch you the first of October._

_Anticipating your response._

_Your dear Susan._

Charlotte was excited, yet nervous. Trafalgar House, the Parker’s residence in Sanditon had already been quite intimidating, not mention Lady D.’s manor house. She did not feel at home in London’s high society. Even with all the new dresses Mary had her made in Sanditon, she felt her attire would not suffice in those circles. And she knew who else was in London. She dreaded to see him, while at the same time every fibre in her body was aching for his proximity, to be caressed by his gaze, his smile. Her mind drifted off again and she almost forgot that tea was about to be served and hastened to check her dress and hair before she went down.

Mrs. Heywood scolded her: “Really Charlotte, I wonder how you became such great friends with a grand lady like Lady Worcester, since you seem incapable of any propriety and have kept us waiting.”

Charlotte apologised, but could not hide an exciting smile. “Well, go on tell me dear, you seem quite excited about her letter, you are practically glowing!” her mother said impatiently.

“Indeed I am, mama, although the prospect of being away from Willingden again for a few months may not be so.” Charlotte answered, afraid her family might think she looked down on Willingden and their company now.

“You are speaking in riddles, dear, do explain yourself.” Mrs. Heywood commented, slightly annoyed as Charlotte was still not sitting down.

“Lady Worcester has invited me to stay with her in London for the season.” Charlotte said solemnly, while trying not to sound too enthusiastic.

Mrs. Heywood looked perplexed, as did the others. “Good gracious, what have you done to deserve such an honour?” her mother asked in astonishment.

Charlotte smiled humbly: “I don’t know why, mama, but she has taken a liking to me. She says I have refreshing and entertaining opinions”.

Mrs. Heywood could not help to roll her eyes and exclaimed with some desperation: “Entertaining and refreshing opinions?! Lord help us! I do hope you learn to restrain yourself more. Especially when you’re to roam in such high circles. What does lady Worcester mean by that? To keep you as an entertainer? The court jester? To make a mockery out of yourself?!”

“Indeed not mother, she wishes to introduce me to society further, but also to improve my mind. She has offered me the use of her library. Me and Allison, for she has asked that my sister accompanies me.” Charlotte looked at Allison, whose eyes enlarged in delighted surprise and who suppressed a shriek of excitement.

“Well, that is very nice of her” Mrs. Heywood responded, a little relieved. “To think of your poor sister who, unlike _you_ has never had the chance to leave her village and meet people. At least someone in the family is to keep an eye on you and your manners. Well, Allison, it seems you and Charlotte will both be liberated from your teaching duties this autumn.”

“My apologies mother.” Charlotte replied “I did not wish to increase your burden in teaching my brothers and sisters. I promise that before I leave and on my return I’ll make a greater effort in assisting you on that account.”

Mrs. Heywood discharged her of her concern, waving it away with her hand: “No need, dear, when you were young children yourselves, I fared well without, however doubtful the result. We’d better spend the following month making sure you and your sister have proper clothes, at least till you have managed to see a dress maker in London that can make you fashionable enough. You should be dressed at your best, trying to impress. With any luck both of you both can make me happy by getting properly settled.”

Charlotte’s smile dropped for a while. Getting settled was the last thing she was after, not unless Sidney by some miracle became available, which by any calculation in her head was near to impossible, whatever Lady Worcester might think. Tom’s debt of eighty thousand pounds. How else was it to be solved? Even if Sidney had indeed proposed to herself at the Midsummer ball, she would have felt herself obliged to release him of that engagement and she would have told him to marry Eliza Campion. He knew it when he left Sanditon for the rescue mission, she had felt it then, although she did not openly acknowledge it, even to herself, till he confronted her with the bitter conclusion on his return. He must have had the idea in his head when he left, else he would proposed before leaving for London. She remembered his remark “I’ll do anything humanly possible to save my family.” And in her head she added “Even if it means sacrificing our love for each other.” He had tried to kiss her, but knowing he was in no position to make promises, and wishing to save his honour as well as her own, she hadn’t allowed it.

With a soft, sad voice Charlotte responded to her mother’s expressed wish. “Do not have hopes for me, mother besides improving my education and bestowing my knowledge on my brothers and sisters after I return. I do not have the intention of finding myself a husband.”

Mrs. Heywood glanced at Charlotte worryingly and concluded: “Well, with that attitude at least I do not have to worry about you throwing yourself away for whatever gentleman comes your way. But you must marry sometime and you are becoming an old spinster. And as long as you remain single, your sisters’ chances of settling themselves are slim. You must think of them as well. If we can get you well settled, you may introduce them to suitable candidates. Your brother’s prospects of a suitable match also increase when he has less sisters to maintain in the future.”

“I’m sorry I am such a burden to my siblings, mama.” Charlotte responded rather bitter at her mother’s pressure, avoiding her siblings’ accusing stares. “But let me reassure you: I have little intention of being kept by you till eternity. If necessary I will earn my own living. If you want, I’ll place an advertisement to offer myself as a governess. And if an eligible suitor comes by that cannot gain my interest, I will tell him he might choose one of my sisters. Then all of us can be happy.”

“Hush, Charlotte, do not overreact. I did not mean to make you feel unwelcome in your own home. I do not wish to pressure you. I merely wonder at your disinterest in marriage. I wish you would be more open to the possibility of a good match. I wish you that opportunity of happiness. ” Mrs. Heywood replied apologetically.

Charlotte feigned a smile, but her eyes were moist. Mrs. Heywood did not see it and rambled on: “I do wonder whether it will help you and your sister to be introduced in such circles. You are not so high born, nor have you such a dowry as to attract any serious suitors. You would be seen as fortune hunters and incite no more than wild flirtation. How will you fare then? And I fear Lady Worcester is unlikely to go to any common assembly room, where you might be introduced to people of your own station.”

Mr. Heywood, who was not insensitive to Charlotte’s wounded look, interfered. “Mrs. Parker, please, you discredit to our dear Charlotte’s merits. She has proven herself worthy during her stay with the Parkers and as far as I can tell has maintained her integrity. Though I dare say that in high circles they care much less about it. And might I remind you that that the Heywood name is still very respectable. We may have dwindled on our fortunes and influence, but we once well served the Tudors at court as their knights. As for meeting suitable gentlemen, I mean to send William to London as an apprentice in his uncle’s practice. He might introduce his sisters to eligible gentlemen of the third class . Though I wouldn’t be unhappy to enjoy the company of my dear Charlotte and Allison for many years more. Thomas has yet to learn to make a proper administration of our accounts if he is to inherit the estate and only Charlotte is good enough at it to teach him or be his assistant. ”

Thomas, Charlotte’s eldest brother of twenty-eight years, looked up, rolling his eyes and sneering: “Well If I am to keep my sister infinitely after you’re deceased, she might as well make herself useful. And I would appreciate not having to keep all seven of my sisters. So please get them settled _before_ you are gone.”

Mrs. Heywood reproached her eldest son for speaking of his parents’ death out loud, in case it should speed up the event. Charlotte, in turn looked at her father gratefully. In her mind she thanked the Parkers for not informing her parents how she had ignored their instructions and had travelled to London on her own in an effort to save Georgiana. And she knew she should keep silent of what she had encountered there. She merely replied: “Thank you, papa, for your faith in me. I am not ignorant of the danger. Do not believe me to be naïve. I am on my guard. I do not care for London society, its fairs or its balls. But I am excited by the prospect of conversing with my dear friend Susan and the use of her library, for she is a great reader.”

“You dare call her by her Christian name?!” her mother said in astonishment, little reassured about Charlotte behaving properly in London.

“Do not fuss, my dear” Mr. Parker said to his wife while examining Charlotte’s countenance, looking for the scars on her soul that she seemed to have since her return from Sanditon. “Let’s rejoice in the fact that Charlotte as made such a good friend, that she has another opportunity to escape our dull existence here in Willingden and has no intention to make a fool out of herself. And there’s no point in insulting such a grand lady by refusing our consent. Now, my tea is getting cold .”

Mrs. Heywood kept silent as they sat down for tea. Allison, who had kept silent during the discussion, squeezed Charlotte’s hand in excitement and whispered: “Oh Charlotte, I am so excited. How great that you have made such friends. But I am nervous to make a mockery out of myself in front of such high standing people.”

“Ease yourself, sister, for Lady Worcester is such a kind lady. She endures no snobbishness and cares little about one’s background. And I will help you in conducting yourself properly, though I think it unnecessary, for you are naturally better behaved than I am.” Charlotte reassured her sister.

*****

That night, while in bed, Mrs. Heywood repeated her concerns to Mr. Heywood about Charlotte’s tendency to impropriety and the dangers of roaming in such high circles for girls like Charlotte and Allison. He replied: “Dear Mrs. Heywood. I do share your concerns, but keeping them locked up here in Willingden will do even less for them. And I dare say Charlotte’s wise enough to know how far she can go. I suspect she’s had her heart broken in Sanditon and she will be all the more cautious to have it repeated.”

“Her heart broken?” Mrs. Heywood replied surprised.

“Yes, I suspect she developed an affection for a gentleman who was not able to attach himself to her. Haven’t you noticed the cheerlessness in her eyes since her return and how she tries to hide it from us?”

“Indeed I have noticed her silence and tendency to isolate herself. But I hoped it would be because our village is rather dull compared to a seaside resort. Or because of the fire that happened and its victim...Who do you suspect has become the object of our Charlotte’s affection?”

“I am not sure. She speaks quite warmly of this Mr. Stringer.” Mr. Heywood mumbled.

“The foreman of Mr. Parkers building project whose father died in the fire?” Mrs. Heywood exclaimed. “God forbid she should develop an affection for such a man! I would not be able to invite him at our table.”

“Do not judge too quickly, Mrs. Heywood. A man’s occupation does not say everything. I know gentlemen who do not behave so and I know common folk who do. In any case, it may also be Mr. Parker’s brother. ” Mr. Heywood remarked, annoyed at his wife’s prejudice.

“The merchant you mean? I have not heard her speak of him much.” Mrs. Heywood asked surprised.

“Indeed, she barely mentions his name, and if she does, it is with much hesitance and saddened eyes, as if she cannot bear to speak of him. I believe he has injured her in one way or the other. ” Mr. Heywood continued with concern in his voice.

“Well, not that being a merchant is a desirable profession, for it requires a character of greed and risk taking, but at least he would be able to provide for Charlotte properly had he returned her affection. And I guess for a merchant it may have an advantage to have a wife who can help him keep his books.” Mrs. Heywood rambled on.

“Well, dear, these merchants, entrepreneurs and industrialists are gaining much influence. We may have to accustom ourselves to socializing with them as their wealth and power tends to exceed those of gentle- and noblemen.” Mr. Heywood replied, forcing a smile.

“Some are exceedingly rich, I know.” sighed Mrs. Heywood “and Mr. Tom Parker was quite acceptable, his brother might be as well. Wasn’t he the brother who got engaged to that wealthy widow?”

“I believe he is, dear. And if Charlotte has fancied herself in love with him, she will be the humbler for it. I don’t think we have to be afraid of her losing herself. And she’ll protect Allison from it too. And I hope her stay in London will revive her a little, for she has been sulking in despondency ever since her return from Sanditon.”

“I do wish your brother Richard had remarried.” Mrs. Heywood continued “Then his wife could invite the girls and she could introduce them to serious marriage candidates. Or if he’d had a daughter. With only himself and two grown sons in the house it seems improper to get them invited there. Or if your brother John would be stationed in another parish, so our children could visit other places. With their small dowries I cannot hope for sons-in-law with an estate of their own. But a clergyman or solicitor or another respectable profession will do. Or if only my brothers had survived the war, and my sisters had not died in that fever and gotten married, the girls would have more relatives to help them find suitable partners.”

Mr. Heywood consolingly patted his wife’s leg. “I know dear, how much their loss grieves you still, but I’m happy John is the vicar of our own parish, living close. As regards my youngest brother, to be honest, I hope to see very little of him and his sons. For they are such dull and disagreeable creatures they would scare off any suitor of our daughters.”

Mrs. Heywood sighed disapprovingly at her husband’s disregard for his brother. Not that she had always gotten along with her own brothers, but all their quarrels seemed so trivial after they had gone to war and not returned. She wished her husband would appreciate more that he still had both his brothers living.

“Well, I did marry the most attractive one of your father’s sons.” she responded with a smile.

“And the one that still loves you very much after almost thirty years.” he whispered back warmly while he turned to face her and kissed her. “And at least I can do so now without the risk of adding another addition to our family.” he added while he started to caress her thighs. “I do hope, Anne, that whoever our daughters marry, that their husbands will love them at least us much and as long as I do you.”

“Oh, Charles, you are an inveterately passionate man.” Mrs. Heywood sighed playfully, while allowing him to untie the strings at the neckline of her night shift.

*****

So it was settled. Charlotte swiftly replied to Lady Worcester’s invitation, asking if her brother William might also might be included in using Lady Worcester’s coach to travel to London.


	2. The Blue Satin Gown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte, Allison and their mother are preparing the girl's wardrobes for their London Adventure. The blue satin ball gown reminds Charlotte of the evening of the Midsummer Ball and she get's cross with her mother, who wants to discourage her from reading philosophical and political books. Mrs. Heywood worries about Charlotte's conduct and wants her to study social ettiquette and become a 'proper "lady who does not voice her opinion. Charlotte admits to her father she had her heart broken in Sanditon.

# 2\. The blue satin ballgown

In preparation of Charlotte’s and Allison trip to London, Mrs. Heywood bought all the lace, muslin and silk she could find in the villages near Willingden and set herself and all the other women in the household to making Allison a new and fashionable wardrobe, copying the patterns from the clothes Charlotte had brought from Sanditon.

While Charlotte went through her the collection of clothes she had brought from Sanditon, Mrs. Heywood was puzzled at Charlotte’s gaze at the sky blue satin ballgown, that she had worn at the Midsummer ball. Charlotte thoughts had clearly wandered off again. Her face first glowing with joy and then saddening. “It reminds of the fire” she said softly as the dress was laid out on the bed. “I’m not sure I wish to wear it again.” She tried to supress the tears in her eyes. Mrs. Heywood nodded silently. Indeed, on closer inspection, traces of that terrible event were showing on the dress. Mary’s maid had done a good job at removing all the stains of smoke, ashes and water, but for the trained eye, an ash-coloured layer was still seen and in some spots sparks of the fire has scorched the dress.

“We cannot afford to be so wasteful, my dear” her mother said. “I know these grand ladies do not wear a gown more than once, but we cannot be so. If the dress brings painful memories we can alter it. You’ll be wearing it again and at the same you won’t. Indeed, to be fashionable we must readjust our dresses and we won’t be stepping in the same gown twice.” Charlotte forced a faint smile as her mother unintentionally reminded her of her discussion with Sidney about Heraclitus. “A man does not step in the same river twice, for he is not the same man and it is not the same river” she mumbled.

“My dear, what have you been reading this time? Indeed you’ll never find a husband if you’re quoting dead Greek philosophers. And you must put away those political books as well. I mean what is it you have here on your desk? ‘The wealth of nations’ by Adam Smith[1]? It only brings turmoil and disaster if we involve ourselves in politics, remember what happened in Peterloo[2] a few weeks ago. Those poor souls should not have rioted against developments they do not understand and neither should we. No man chooses a wife cleverer than he is and certainly not opinionated foolish ones. I’m glad you’re no longer filling your head with the nonsense of those romantic novels, but I’d rather have you read more on the rules of social etiquette. _That_ is what will help you claim your place in society.”

“I disagree mother.” Charlotte said instantly, raising her voice. “Indeed there many smallminded men who can only feel elevated by surrounding themselves with weaker minded, ignorant people. But I refuse to believe that all men are like that. Indeed there are some who value a women’s opinion and elevate and improve themselves by taking it into account.”

“Charlotte Heywood!” her mother exclaimed in shock. “Where have you learnt to talk to me like that! Really, I do not understand why your father believes your stay in Sanditon has taught you some humility! You seem even wilder than before!”

“I apologise mother. I did not mean to voice my thoughts so strongly. I meant no disrespect.” Charlotte replied humbly, lowering her gaze respectfully to the floor.

“Well, I hope you will practise on keeping your tongue before you leave for London. I would regret writing to lady Worcester that you’ve lost your sanity and are unfit to travel to London!” her mother stated firmly while leaving the room. “I’ll leave you to your room to think about _that_!”

Mrs. Heywood walked down to her husband’s study, her stumping on the stairs warned him of her discontent. While entering, she agitatedly repeated Charlotte’s words to him. Much to Mrs. Heywood’s despair he seemed to find it quite amusing. “Really dear.” she sighed to him. “I do not gather what is so amusing about a young woman who contradicts her mother so strongly and voices her opinion in such a way as to chase away any suitable marriage candidate!”

“Don’t worry, my dear! Charlotte can have a temper. But she loves you just as passionately as she expresses her own opinions. And I dare say she is right. There are respectable men who appreciate such qualities in a woman and since I am one, I believe myself an expert on the matter!”

“What are you saying, dear? That you would have me thrust my opinions on you so violently?” Mrs. Heywood exclaimed, disappointed with her husband’s lack of empathy with herself.

“Well aren’t you? And don’t I love you the more for it?” he said with a smile.

Mrs. Heywood relaxed her face, slightly blushing at her husband’s affectionate declaration. “Well, I hope you’re right, for Charlotte’s sake. I will believe you when someone finally asks for her hand. Meanwhile I’ll lock myself up in your library, reading all those political books.” she smirked sarcastically.

“Please do dear, but only if you want to. A woman can have several qualities besides a taste for reading and politics and I won’t appreciate you any less if you rather focus on something else.” Mr. Heywood replied warmly and then added with a sigh: “and I’ll have a talk with Charlotte about developing those other qualities as well.”

In her room, Charlotte had sunk herself in the chair behind her desk in front of the window, a little shocked herself at the tone with which she had addressed her mother. Her mother was right, she needed to learn to control her temper. If she had not been so quick in judging Sidney to his face, if she would have taken the effort to better understand his motives when he forbad Georgiana meeting with Otis, it would not have gotten out of hand so much. Perhaps Sidney would have declared his love for her sooner if she had not wounded him then. Maybe he would not have met with Mrs. Campion again had they not gone to Mrs. Maudsley’s masked rout after she, Charlotte, set in motion Georgiana’s abduction and their trip to London to rescue her. But then the fire might still have happened, and the Parkers might still have faced ruin.

She looked again at the blue gown again and took it in her arms. When she had put it on the evening of the ball she had never felt happier, more hopeful. She had felt the fluttering in her abdomen, the desire in her loins. She had been full of Sidney’s words that morning when he left her at the dress maker. That he looked forward to seeing her at the ball and asked her if he could speak to her alone for a moment that evening. After he had kissed her on the cliff top, that wordless promise of love, they had walked back in silence, exchanging only a slightly embarrassed smile for their lack of self-control. He had squeezed her hands so tightly it hurt, as if he was afraid to let her go, only to relax his hands and pet her injured hand softly with the other. She felt his arms again, lifting her from treacherous steps down, supporting her on slippery slopes, while looking her lovingly in the eyes. She remembered his glances across the ball room, patiently waiting for ‘their moment’ while others were demanding their attention. She remembered how she had glowed hearing his declaration on the balcony before that terrible disturbance by sir Edward and the disaster that followed. If Sir Edward had only entered a minute later, she was sure he would have proposed and she would have given Sidney her hand. But she realised all too well she would have had to release him again to save Tom and Mary and their dear children. She would have never forgiven herself if she had prevented them from being rescued from a horrid ordeal.

Her tears made dark stains on the light blue satin. She looked at it, thinking the darker colour better befitted the dress. It’s light blue colour had matched her innocence and delight at the Midsummer ball, the colour of a clear blue sky on a sunny day. Now it was tarnished with the ashes of disaster and she concluded that a darker colour would suit it better the next time. She would dye the dress with logwood, giving it the touch of blackish grey that suited her mood. And she would coverup some of the scorched parts with patches of lace and netting. She put the dress down on the bed again and noticed her hands. She had been squeezing them so tight her nails had buried themselves in the flesh. There was a knock on the door. She expected either Allison or her mother, but it was her father who entered. She quickly wiped her tears.

“Dear, there is no need to distress yourself so much over a little quarrel with your mother.” He said consolingly.

She forced a smile. “It’s not that, papa.”

He nodded. “I suspected as much. I gather your memories of Sanditon are not only happy ones?”

“No, papa.” She replied humbly.

“Of course there was the fire, but I believe that is not the only reason you’re crying.”

Charlotte sighed, still staring at the gown.

“Does that gown have anything to do with it? Does it upset you?”

“Yes, it upsets me. But then again it doesn’t , because I never felt happier than when I was wearing that dress.”

“I guess it has something to do with a gentleman? He asked carefully. She nodded and sighed again. “You do not need to tell me the details dear if you don’t want to. Better not tell me who it was, for I can’t guarantee I won’t hunt him down and make him feel sorry for hurting my dear Charlotte.” he said, putting his arm around her.

She smiled a little, picturing her father hunting down Sidney with a gun. “Do not blame him father, as I do not. I believe he truly loved me and he meant to propose, had circumstances not forced him otherwise. I can only respect him for the choice he made. I only wish it would make him happy. It would be easier for me if I believed he could be happy.” She started sobbing again.

“That sounds like true love, dear.” He replied with a sigh. “At least you felt what it is to love and be loved without losing your honour. But as most of us have to learn, we cannot live off mere affection. There is not a man or woman who has not had their heart broken at least once. And they are richer for the experience. You will be all right, my dear, in the end, even if now it does not appear so.” He squeezed her with his arm for comfort, looking a little melancholy himself.

Charlotte looked him in the eyes, wondering whether her father shared her experience. She rubbed her eyes. “Tell mother I am truly sorry about the way I spoke to her. She’s right, I should restrain myself more.” she said solemnly.

“Just think before you speak dear and as I have told your mother, not all men desire their wife to be subservient and thoughtless, but at least do the thinking before the speaking, that rule applies to all of us, not only women. But, being a man I can confirm that there are many of us who appreciate a woman with an opinion, else you might as well marry a dog.” Charlotte chuckled in amusement at her father’s remark. “Glad to see you laugh again. But, pray, do not tell your mother what I said about marrying a dog.” He said with a wink.

“It’ll be our secret, papa.” Her smile dropped again and she tried to suppress her tears again as she remembered how Tom Parker had remarked the return ‘sparkle in her eyes’ after she had danced with Sidney and how moments later he unknowingly undid it by pointing out Sidney’s re-encounter with Eliza Campion. She remembered her little exchange with Sidney when she remarked he was not as unfeeling as he pretended to be and he had laughingly asked her to keep it secret.

“More painful memories?” her father asked softly. She nodded. “I’ll leave you to give them room. It’s better to let the grief out than to lock it inside your heart. Meanwhile I’m glad you have some exciting distractions ahead of you to lift your spirits.” He said consolingly.

“Thank you. I am fortunate to have you as a father. I could wish for no better one.” She replied warmly.

“Careful girl, or I’ll start sobbing myself in quite an ungentlemanlike manner. I am glad I am still a favourite of yours and have not yet lost you to another man. But I believe my failure to provide you with a decent dowry has prevented just that.” he said sadly.

She sighed reassuringly: “I’d rather have you as a father and no dowry than a large dowry and a father I could not love.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re reconciled with your fate.” He said kissing her forehead. In her head Charlotte added: “Only if I had an unreasonably large dowry, would it have been enough to allow Sidney to marry me.”

Downstairs Mr. Heywood took Allison apart. “Charlotte will guide you into society while in London. In return I hope you’ll look after her heart, for I’m not sure others will and it’s has already been broken once. I believe she has confided in you?”. Allison nodded she suspected what had happened. “ I hope that will teach you to guard your own heart as well.” her father concluded while giving her a hug.

“Indeed I will.” Allison replied, while concealing the fluttering in her abdomen at the prospect of going to London, seeing all there was to see and meeting everybody there was to meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] 'The wealth of nations' by Adam Smith is a key work in economic theory (1776), still taught today. Among others, it discusses the power balance between workers and their bosses in negotiating wages.
> 
> [2] Season 1 of Sanditon takes place in the Spring and Summer of 1819 (at least in the tv-series). On august that year there was a protest in Peterloo, where people demanded reformation of Parliament (more voting rights), which was harshly repressed and ended up in a massacre, also known as the 'Peterloo Massacre'. (source: wikipedia)
> 
> In the regency era girls were often not allowed to learn about economy or involve themselves in politics.


	3. Arrival in Bayswater Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Allison head for London to stay with Lady Worcester. Allison is quite intimated by Charlotte's friend and her house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the encouraging comments!

# 3\. Arrival in Bayswater Road

On the first day of October Lady Worcester’s coach arrived at the Heywood estate to bring Charlotte and Allison to London. All the family looked up in admiration as the white purple and white painted coach approached. Besides the driver, two male guards stood at the back in their colourful liveries. Inside, the cushions were made of purple velvet, richly embroidered with Lady Worcester’s emblem in gold thread.

“Oh Charlotte, what a sight. People will think us the most high born and elegant ladies when we pass by.” Allison exclaimed. ‘Oh I am so excited and nervous. But mind you, I will pretend not to be impressed by its grandeur.”

Charlotte whispered with a smile: “Only if they expect you to be impressed, do show it.” Although she suspected her sister had a stomach ache from suspension, she trusted her sister would appear as tranquil as always when she would enter their intimidating new accommodation. William boarded the coach after helping in his sisters. He was clearly not looking forward to the prospect of a long journey without the possibility to escape his elder sisters’ chatter and being responsible for their safety and being accommodated and employed by their dull relations for the next twelvemonth.

As they approached the city, their voices hushed down, and Allison’s big eyes engulfed its many and large buildings and the bustling streets. William himself kept silent when the coach stopped in front of a grand, early Georgian mansion and they disembarked. Lady Worcester, dressed in a white-and-purple gown came out. She hugged Charlotte and asked to be introduced to her siblings. Allison’s tense muscles seemed to relax a bit, as she perceived Lady Worcester was an aimable and warm woman without pretence, very unlike the mean, opinionated Lady Denham Charlotte had told her about. William left them, without saying much, to be taken to his uncle’s much humbler abode on Cheapside before dinner time, but with an invitation to come dine the next day.

The Heywood sisters were shown into their respective, adjoining rooms on the fourth floor. Charlotte’s was light blue, while Allison’s was rosy pink. The rooms overlooked the Kensington Gardens on the other side of the road. A fire was lit in each of the rooms. Lady Worcester apologised: “They are not the biggest rooms I have available, but I thought these would be cosier and less cold.”

Charlotte smiled gratefully at her friend. ”They are lovely rooms, we shall be very comfortable indeed.” Allison could only nod, quite unable to utter a word, admiring the floral patterns on the paper hangings from China, the velvet hangings on the fourposter bed, the silk quilt, the gilded handles of the doors, the gold paint on the wooden panel rims. After Lady Worcester left them to settle themselves and prepare for dinner she said to Charlotte. “I believe I shan’t sleep for the greatness of these rooms. I believe I am quite terrified to be alone here.”

Charlotte reassured her: “You’ll get used to it. But don’t do so too much or we will never be content with our own home again. If you have trouble sleeping, I’ll be right next door and you may come lie with me.” It relieved Allison a little. And while the maids were unpacking their trunks and hanging up their dresses, Charlotte helped Allison pick out an appropriate dress for dinner. After getting dressed, they were led into a small room where a round table was set. Charlotte was surprised the dining room was not much larger.

“I see you are surprised we are not dining in the dining room downstairs.” Lady Worcester said with smile. We’ll have dinner there tomorrow, but I detest sitting a such a large cold room when we are such small party. I prefer this cosier, smaller parlour. Doesn’t it feel homely? I hope you do not mind our dinners not being too formal.”

Charlotte smiled and also Allison felt a little relieved. “Indeed, Susan, it is a lovely room and we’ll enjoy dinner the more for it.” Charlotte replied.

Despite Lady Worcester referring to the informality of their meal, Allison still seemed a bit intimidated, for there were four courses and she was not used to being served by a footman. “You are very quiet, Allison? I hope you do not feel too overwhelmed.” Lady Worcester inquired.

“I am sorry, milady, I cannot not speak much, for I’m too busy admiring your wonderful house.”

“Please, I hope Charlotte has told you I like you to use my Christian name. Formal address creates so much distance. And I find it quite lonesome when everybody puts himself at distance from me. I am glad to have you here as my companions” Lady Worcester said warmly.

“Surely there are other ladies of your rank whom you can relate to.” Charlotte wondered out loud.

“Oh Charlotte, that is the worst of it. There is no shortage of women of equal rank, but I find it quite hard to find one that equals me in interests. There are few that I can stand, others that I can tolerate only because their ways amuse me, but none that I can have an intelligent conversation with.” Lady Worcester sighed.

“I am sorry you feel so lonely, Susan.” Charlotte replied “I hope Allison and I will prove worthy company to you.”

Lady Worcester grabbed the girls’ hands “Oh, you do, dear, do not worry. And till last Spring I had my nieces staying with me, but they got married and now I am on my own again in this large house. Of course I have ‘my special friend’, but a lady requires some female company at times. ” Allison looked at Charlotte rather puzzled, afraid to ask about who the ‘special friend’ was. Charlotte decided she would tell her later. “Now, do tell me what you would like to see and do and I will accommodate you.” Lady Worcester continued. “I will of course present you at various balls, take you to the British Museum and show you around town, but pray, what has your interest? ” Allison softly expressed a desire to see some architecture and painting, as she was fond of drawing herself. “Very well, and I’ll do better than merely show you around all our galleries, I arrange for you meet our greatest painters and architects.”

Allison suppressed a squeak of excitement, exclaiming “Oh milady, you are too kind!”

“Lady Worcester looked at her sternly. “Didn’t I request you call me Susan? Please oblige me.”

“Of course…. Susan.” Allison replied with some hesitance and supressed a giggle.

“And you Charlotte? I know you like to read, but I hope there will be some attractions outdoors as well.” Lady Worcester inquired, her face showing a kind curiosity.

“ I should like to know more about science, indeed see the British Museum, I guess.” Charlotte replied in earnest. “And there are some friends I would like to call on. I have good hopes of Mrs. Parker and Miss Lambe coming to town. And I believe Lady Babington will be in town as well for the season.”

“Yes of course, you must see your friends. You must write them first thing, let them know you are here. Lady Worcester replied with a mysterious smile. “Now, I have invited your brother, uncle and cousins for dinner tomorrow. What can you tell me about them?”

“Not much, I’m afraid. “Charlotte replied. “We can of course tell you everything about our brother, but I would not have you prejudiced against him, because for his sisters he is merely a plague and nuisance.” Charlotte said with a little mischievous smile. “And we love him in spite of it. As for my uncle and my cousins, I must confess I haven’t seen them in years. My uncle’s practice keeps him very much tied to London. Ours being such a large family, my parents travel to London but twice a year without us children, so we have not had the opportunity of visiting him. The most I can say is that I remember my uncle to be a stern man and my cousins seem to be much like their father. But then, I was much younger when we last met and at that age all grown men seem stern and dull.”

“Well, it will be an interesting evening for all three of us, then.” Lady Worcester concluded.


	4. The Heywood relatives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Allison ar fitted into new dresses, Charlotte hears from Mary and the dinner with her London relatives at Lady Worcester's house is quite awkward.

# 4\. The Heywood relatives

The following morning after breakfast, Charlotte dispatched notes to her friends to notify them of her arrival in town and a wish to call on them. Susan gave them a more elaborate tour of the house and the garden and the Kensington Gardens across the road, making Allison whisper that she feared she would not be able to retrace her steps and get lost. Charlotte could not but be excited when she was shown around the library and a room full of curiosities.

“I believe I shall be quite entertained here!” Charlotte exclaimed.

“Good, dear, because all these books are of no use if there is no bright mind to read them!” Lady Worcester replied with a smile.

After lunch, Lady Worcester proposed to take her guests to her dress maker, so they would not have to feel awkward about their attire when being introduced in the London ball scene. “Fashions change here so quickly, my dears, and London society is so awfully judgemental about being fashionable. And people would perceive me as mean if I didn’t provide you with an appropriate wardrobe. So, I will not take ‘no’ for an answer. ” she spoke firmly. Charlotte and Allison gratefully accepted and spent the afternoon being measured up, and having rolls of muslin, silk, velvet and lace rolled out in front them. They tried on some of her ladyship’s old pelisses, spencers and gowns and which were ordered to be adjusted to the latest fashion and the girls’ measurements.

On their return, Charlotte was handed a note, sent by Mary. It said: 

_My dear Charlotte,_

_I am glad to hear you are in London with such a great hostess as your benefactor. Lady Worcester will find you as worthy a companion as I have. I am much excited about the prospect of seeing you again. If you have no prior engagement I would like to invite you for tea on Monday and I shall be delighted to see your sister again. It will be just us ladies, for Sidney is away for some business this week and Tom will be outdoors, promoting Sanditon’s new build._

_Your dear friend Mary._

Charlotte pressed the note to her chest in relief. She dreaded calling on Mary unannounced for fear of seeing Sidney again and felt that Mary had understood her sensitivity.

As she and Allison walked downstairs for dinner, their relatives arrived. Charlotte watched her brother introduce their uncle and cousins to their hostess. She had remembered her uncle as a short stern man and found her memory to be right except for his loss of hair and the slight hunch back he had developed. Seeing him trying to bow and kiss tall Lady Worcester’s hand would have been a quite amusing sight, if Charlotte had not felt a little embarrassed at introducing him to the grand lady of the house. She looked at her cousins, whose pimpled, hairless faces had made way for ones with small scars and sideburns on them. Their expression was as joyless as their father’s. She felt it would be an awkward evening, although it might be that her relatives were just not at ease and would improve when more relaxed. The sisters had caught the eyes of gentlemen downstairs and William walked up to them and took his sisters by the arm. “Dear uncle, do you remember my sisters Charlotte and Allison?” he introduced them, pointing out which sister was which, while the girls curtseyed.

“Good grace, how my nieces have grown.” Her uncle exclaimed “And what beauties have you become. If I had come across you in town I would not have taken such fine ladies to be my nieces. I must take it this is part of your doing, milady. And I must thank you for being so kind to them. My girls, I hope you aware of the great honour her ladyship has bestowed on you.” Charlotte and Allison smiled.

“The honour is all mine, Mr. Heywood.” Lady Worcester replied. “It is such pleasure to have them as my company.” Their uncle looked a little puzzled, perhaps wondering how Charlotte had become a favourite of this great lady, but kept silent. They were led into the grand dining hall that Susan had described as ‘cold’, despite the warmth of many candles in the chandeliers and the reflection their light in all the mirrors and gold painted rims on the light pea green panels. Though larger, Charlotte preferred its lightness to the dark baroque of Lady Denham’s dining room.

Charlotte found herself seated between her brother and her cousin Roger, whom she remembered to be just a year older than she was. She felt his awkwardness as he dutifully inquired after her parents, although William must have given him a full account already and she had nothing to add. He changed the subject and told about his fondness for keeping the books in his father’s office and writing contracts.

“I cannot say I have a talent for conversing with clients, but I do like to like to write the contracts and keep the books. There is something very pleasing about creating order and clarity.” he said firmly.

“Well, we cannot all have a talent for speaking eloquently, we’d go quite deaf, I guess.” Charlotte jokingly replied to make him more at ease, but felt her joke was ill-bestowed on him.

“I understand you are quite a good bookkeeper yourself.” he said in all earnest.

Charlotte smiled humbly. “I doubt I am more than an ordinary one, but I do like to make myself useful and help my father with his accounts.”

“In a woman that is _extra_ -ordinary.” Roger replied solemnly. Charlotte looked at his face, searching for a sign that he was merely teasing her, but again he displayed no sense of humour. “Unlike other men, I can appreciate a woman who make herself useful and does not spend her time with frivolous activities. It is a quality I would much appreciate in a wife.”

Charlotte almost choked as she tried to swallow down her wine during the rather forward statement from her cousin and wondered whether her mother had encouraged such a thing in her letter to their uncle. “My dear, are you all right?” Lady Worcester exclaimed “ I hope it was not a fish bone? It would be the first time my kitchen maids would oversee one.”

“Don’t worry, milady” William quickly replied with an amused smile. “It was rather something Charlotte heard than something she ate.”

“Indeed I will never get used to how my brother sounds when he speaks.” Charlotte retorted, grimacing at William and avoiding Roger’s eyes.

“Now my cousins, do not embarrass Lady Worcester by quarrelling.” her uncle exclaimed in shock.

Lady Worcester laughed. “Mr. Heywood, I believe the youngsters only mean to tease and it quite amuses me.” Her uncle uneasily forced a little smile.

To prevent dinner conversation from becoming even more awkward, Charlotte tried to turn the subject by asking Lady Worcester to tell more of the room’s decorations, its architect and the paintings on the wall, so the guests could do no further harm than asking after details of its creators, the people depicted in the paintings or express their overall appreciation and admiration for the lady’s taste. Allison expressed a special fondness of the hand-painted Japanese silk screen.

“Well, my girl, maybe we can try to do some silk-painting ourselves. I’ve been meaning to learn myself, so maybe you can girls could join me?”

Allison looked up in delight, but got little chance to respond as her uncle interceded: “Milady, you are very generous to my nieces, let me thank you on behalf of the family.”

“Again, sir, the pleasure is all mine.” Lady Worcester responded.

The men did not stay long after dinner as Charlotte and Allison expressed themselves to be still rather exhausted by the journey a day earlier. Allison obliged them shortly by playing two songs on the pianoforte and singing along, then apologised for faltering due to fatigue and inexperience with the particular instrument. Mr. Heywood understood the hint and took his leave, arguing that one should retire in time on a Saturday evening, lest one should sit in church yawning at the priests sermon. Charlotte was much annoyed by Roger taking a rather long time kissing her hand on their departure and expressing an earnest desire to see more of her. The men had hardly driven off when the ladies observed each other trying to withhold the temptation to burst out in laughter. “I must apologise for my relatives, Susan, if I had known how tedious their company was, I would have advised against inviting them.” Charlotte said, laughing apologetically.

“On the contrary, Charlotte, I found them quite amusing. I am quite curious how your cousin Roger will try to pursue you further.” Lady Worcester said amused. And Allison finally felt free to express herself. “They were ghastly!’ she exclaimed. “Oh dear God, I do hope mother has not encouraged them to pursue a more intimate attachment with either of us.”

“Your mother is behind this?” Lady Worcester inquired, raising her eyebrows.

Allison replied hesitantly, three glasses of wine affecting her self-constraint a little: “Well she express her desire to get us settled with either a solicitor or clergymen if we would not find ourselves a more fortunate gentleman and that our uncle would introduce us to _proper_ candidates.” She emphasized the word ‘proper’ with so much ridicule, that the other two ladies had difficulty supressing their laughter.

“Well your mother’s aspirations are very modest then, for I believe you both could do much better.” Lady Worcester said with a reassuring and amused smile.

“Thank you Susan, I appreciate your effort, but we cannot be ambitious on that account. We have but small dowries as my father has seven daughters and five sons.” Charlotte said humbly and in earnest.

“I wasn’t talking of money, Charlotte.” Lady Worcester corrected her friendly.

Charlotte smiled a little embarrassed.

“If you cannot marry a wealthy man, at least you must find one rich in affection and intelligence.” Lady Worcester said.

Charlotte smiled sadly. “Excuse me, I do feel very tired. I think I will go upstairs now.” Allison nodded: ”I think I will go as well. Today as been quite exciting.” Allison thanked lady Worcester and started pacing to the staircase.

Charlotte wished to follow her sister, but Lady Worcester took Charlotte’s hand and looked at her with compassion. “I’m sorry I brought up the topic.” she said softly. “I didn’t mean to reopen the wound. But you mustn’t darken your heart. I am quite determined to have you smile and feel loved again. But we cannot achieve that if you do not pour out your grievances. We must clear your heart before we can fill it with love again. Now talk to me.” she said as she took Charlotte’s arm and directed her to her boudoir. Charlotte smiled gratefully. She had kept silent on the topic to most of her family. Even Allison knew little of the details, though she might suspect the particulars from the context; but somehow Lady Worcester made her feel enough at ease to confide in her, more than her own mother. Perhaps because she had been witness to the chemistry that existed between her and Sidney, she seemed to better understand Charlotte’s and Sidney’s feelings and the pain the parting meant to both of them. Allison had merely discarded him has a man who had abused Charlotte’s affectionate nature, but Charlotte still refused to think badly of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With courtesy of Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice ;-)


	5. Visiting Mary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte visits Mary in Bedford Place together with Allison and Lady Worcester and to her surprise meets other friends there as well, one of which impresses Allison. Lady Worcester comes up with an idea for the salvation of Sanditon.

# 5\. Visiting Mary

The following morning the two girls joined Lady Worcester to church service in St. Paul’s Cathedral, but they were too marvelled at the opulent decorations to listen to the priest. In the afternoon they strolled around the Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park, while Lady Worcester introduced them to numerous acquaintances of hers. Their heads spinning from all the grandeur, sights and names, the two sisters retired to bed early and slept quite deeply.

The next morning would bring some more familiarity as the three women set out to visit Mary Parker. Charlotte trembled a little when she knocked on the door of Sidney’s townhouse, where Tom and Mary were accommodated when in town, remembering how her affections towards Sidney had turned during her last visit there. She had arrived at the house that time with a mixture of resent and disgust toward him, embarrassment at her own mistakes, doubting her own judgement and at the same time concerned for Georgiana. She had left with a heart filled with love and admiration for him, sure of his good opinion of her, but not his heart. She remembered how she blushed and quivered when he told her ‘she was not _too_ anything ’, when he told her he had no desire to dance with any of the others women in the room, the ecstasy of their dance together, the moment she realised she was actually in love with him.

To her great relief, the men were indeed absent. Mary greeted her with a great hug, and clearly felt honoured and humble that Lady Worcester had accompanied her. They sat down in the ladies’ drawing room. And after the usual polite enquiry after Charlotte’s family by Mary and it being reciprocated by the visitors, Lady Worcester started asking after the development of Sanditon and congratulating the family of the upcoming union of Sidney Parker with Mrs. Campion. “How delighted you must all be!” Lady Worcester said with a forced smile.

Mary hesitated in her answer, carefully glancing at Charlotte’s frozen face. “Indeed we hope they shall be very happy together.” she replied without smiling. At that moment they heard the door open and Tom walked in, with his usual air of enthusiasm and expressing his joy with all the superlatives available at finding the three ladies in the house. As soon as he had heard Charlotte would come to the house, he had changed his plans to see her, and regretted Sidney was out of town to deal his responsibilities as guardian of Miss Lambe. Charlotte then noticed a second pair of male boots walking in and for a moment she feared it would be Sidney, although she knew it could not be. To her surprise however it was Mr. Stringer. She could not tell whether it was relief or disappointment that she felt when she registered it had not been Sidney, but she had little time to consider the confusion of her emotions.

“Mr. Stringer!” she exclaimed “I did not expect to see you here!”

“Miss Heywood! How fortunate I am to see you during my visit to London.” he said, looking truly delighted.

“You must remember Lady Worcester. And this is my sister Allison.” She kindly introduced the other ladies to him. Mr. Stringer bowed to both ladies, but quickly his gaze return to a Charlotte, unaware of another pair of dark brown eyes looking at him in admiration. “What are you doing in London?” Charlotte asked him. “Have you taken up your apprenticeship to become an architect? ” She couldn’t help noticing that he had dressed rather fine, very unlike the brownish workman’s clothes she was used to seeing him in.

“Mr. Stringer is here to help me promote the new build of Sanditon.” Tom explained enthusiastically. “We’ve been showing prospective buyers the new designs. And Mr. Stringer is doing an excellent job in translating their wishes.”

“Would you be interested in seeing the designs?” Mr. Stringer asked, rolling them out eagerly before an answer could be given.

“Indeed, I believe there is more than one lady here who would be interested in architecture.” Lady Worcester replied while directing her eyes at Allison. Mr. Stringer looked up to the two pair of lovely eyes and asked “Are you as fond of architecture as your sister, Miss Allison?” he asked. Allison enthusiastically answered she did. They discussed the finesse of the design and the hope of attracting enough investors and buyers for the property. Tom thanked Lady Worcester again for her role in making the regatta that summer a success and how it had reflected on the project.

“I am glad to have been of assistance.” Lady Worcester replied with false humility. “And perhaps I could do a little more. What would you think of a dinner party to present your plans for a select company?”

“Oh that would be fantastic!” Tom exclaimed with joyful surprise “Really milady, you are Sanditon’s greatest benefactor!”

“The pleasure is all mine.” Lady Worcester replied with a mysterious smile.


	6. Visit to Lady Babington

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte pays a visit to the new Lady Babington, who gives her advice on marriage. On departure, she encounters the very person she wished to avoid.

A few days later Charlotte called on Lady Babington. More than two months had passed since the latter’s wedding and Charlotte inquired politely if her marriage was what she had expected it to be.

“Oh Charlotte.” Lady Babington replied warmly “It is better! I had little expectations, as my affection was not no so great as Lord Babington’s. But I feel my love for him is growing by the day. But let’s keep that between ourselves, before Lord Babington becomes lazy in expressing his.” She winked with a smile. “I do hope you’ll find someone who’ll love you like that as well.” Charlotte was pleasantly surprised at Lady Babington’s warmth. Very unlike the cold stone marble statue she had been when they first met. Charlotte realised that she might have misread bitterness and an unhappy history in love for arrogance, like she had with Sidney.

Lady Babington remarked “My aunt was quite right when she encouraged me to accept Lord Babington. But I gather her matchmaking skills have been lost on you? Are you still determined to remain unmarried?”

Charlotte forced a smile. “Oh dear Esther, As long there is no prospect of marrying anyone who loves me as much as I love him, I fear I may die an old spinster.”

“At least make sure _you a_ re the one that is loved.” Lady Babington replied, repeating her aunt’s advice. “If it is you who feels the greater love, you’ll be the unhappier for it. You will be taken advantage of.” Charlotte fell silent. “I’m sorry, I seem to have struck the wrong cord.” Lady Babington replied. “Will you do me a favour and take a small tour with me outside. I find the air inside is making me rather nauseous.” She showed Charlotte around the garden for a few minutes, and Lady Babington discussed her plans for putting in a small pond and waterfall and Charlotte was happy to make suggestions for its design.

When it was time for Charlotte to take her leave and they stood in the hallway, the front door opened. Lord Babington entered, but it was not his appearance that startled Charlotte, for three steps behind him was an unsuspecting Sidney. For a few seconds his eyes locked with hers in a shocked and surprised gaze as neither had expected to encounter the other. She noticed his curly hair was longer now, in the Brutus style, more fashionably cut perhaps, but she thought it did not suit him. He, in turn noticed her hair had been neatly done up, but he missed the loose, slightly unruly curls that that had beaten her face, blown by the sea breezes in Sanditon.

“Miss Heywood!’ Lord Babington exclaimed with a cough while looking at her and his friend with amused curiosity. The two men took off their hats, bowed and handed then handed their hats to the butler.

“Lord Babington!” Charlotte reacted, forcing a smile while feeling a little uncomfortable. “Mr. Parker!” she greeted Sidney with a trembling voice. “Miss Heywood!” he exclaimed with astonishment, nearly forgetting to close his mouth. An awkward silence followed before Lord Babington broke in and properly asked after the health of her family, how long she had been in town and where she was staying.

“My sister Allison and I are staying with Lady Worcester, sir.” Charlotte explained, hoping the squeak in her voice would go unnoticed. “They had some other obligations, Lady Worcester and Allison had a wish to learn silk-painting and are purchasing materials.”

“Lady Worcester? Indeed, I know her.” Lord Babington replied pleasantly surprised. “And I believe we have an invitation for dinner at her house next week. So I believe we shall meet each other again then.” He looked meaningfully at Sidney, who seemed unable to utter a word, his face flushed, then he looked pale, then flushing again.

“Yes, indeed” Charlotte replied, her voice rising yet another tone.

“I believe Lady Worcester has taken it upon her to promote the building plans for Sanditon? I gather that is your influence?“ Lord Babington remarked, raising his eyebrows.

“I do not presume to have on influence on Lady Worcester, sir, but she does seem quite keen on the project.” Charlotte replied humbly, directing her gaze to the floor, all too aware of the pair of dark brown eyes gazing down on herself. Charlotte recollected herself and looked up at him and asked in as polite, but solemn a voice as she good produce: “Mr. Parker, how is my friend Miss Lambe, I heard you saw her just a few days ago?”

He smiled, looking a little startled, but at the same time a little relieved at her breaking the silence between them. “Yes, as a matter fact she has travelled back with me to London, she expressed a wish to do some shopping in London.” His usually deep voice was raised by an octave. “Apparently the shops in Sanditon cannot provide her with winter clothing that is fashionable enough for her taste.” he added with a little sarcastic smile. “But I dare say she desires to see her friends as well.” he looked at her warm and meaningfully.

“Oh yes, I would love to see her.” Charlotte replied with warm enthusiasm.

“I could take you to her in an hour or so, if you have no other obligations?” Sidney asked carefully, his eyes looking hopeful. “I have to discuss some business with Babington here, but I would be at your disposal afterwards.” She saw the meaningful look in his eyes, and she was glad she had other obligations, for she did not want risk being alone with him. She felt his magnetic pull and she needed to escape it, for giving in would bring inconceivable disaster.

“Lady Worcester’s carriage is picking me up just now, so I shall have to see Miss Lambe some other time.” she replied with a forced smile. She hoped her voice didn’t sound too anxious, that he had not read the panic in her face.

Sidney nodded, faking a smile in an attempt to hide his disappointment. “Very well then…May I ask, how did you know I went to see Miss Lambe?” he asked. There was a hesitation in his voice.

“I called on Mary just a few days ago.” Charlotte quickly explained.

“Ah.” Sidney merely replied, seemingly wondering why Mary hadn’t told him about Charlotte having been to his house and what else had been said about him. “I’ll make sure Miss Lambe calls on you within the following days.” he concluded sternly in the deep course voice that tickled her hearing, still staring at her.

After another cough from Lord Babington, causing his lady to amusedly wonder out loud whether he was catching a cold, Charlotte managed to free herself from Sidney’s captive gaze. The men and Lady Babington walked her to the carriage that arrived. Lady Worcester and Allison sat inside. Charlotte briefly introduced her sister to the others. And the men greeted the ladies. And before one of the coachmen could help Charlotte get in, Sidney reached out his hand to do it for them. For a second or two she felt his firm hand, the hand that had caressed hers so affectionately that summer, through her glove, holding hers quite tightly and letting go a second later than was useful or proper; and as she sat herself down their eyes met again. “Good day, Miss Heywood.” He said softly, his eyes looking warm and moist, the lips that had kissed her so passionately on the cliff tops, forcibly being curled in a loving smile.

She gave him a gentle nod, unable to speak and feeling Allison’s questioning gaze on her. Raising her eyebrows and looking from one to the other, without words, Allison was asking if that was the gentleman her sister was heartbroken about. And Charlotte confirmed her sister’s suspicions by directing her reddening eyes to the window on the other side of the carriage. But Lady Worcester, giving Charlotte a meaningful look, spoke to Sidney: “Mr. Parker, I have invited your friend and your brother to a dinner party in my house next week. I hope you and Mrs. Campion will come as well.”

Sidney looked up, a little hesitant, confused, but with a glimmer of hope in his eye. “Well, I believe we have no prior engagements.” he stammered.

“Well, I shall be very disappointed if you do not come.” Lady Worcester said in a strict voice, while smiling mysteriously again.


	7. Advice of a friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney pours his heart out to Lord Babington, who advices him. And they have some questions regarding their friend Mr. Crowe.

# 7\. Advice of a friend

Sidney watched the carriage as it drove off and turned around the corner. Lady Babington quickly went inside, leaving the men to themselves on the pavement. Lord Babington patted his friend on the back. “Are you all right, old friend?” he inquired carefully.

“Yes, forgive me, I am a little distracted.” Sidney replied, avoiding his fiend’s eyes in his befuddlement.

“Well, if I recall correctly, it is not the first time I have seen you staring at her like that. But you were looking a lot happier then.” Lord Babington remarked, examining his friend with his eyes. Sidney sighed, his face turning bitter. “What happened, did she reject your proposal?” Babington asked carefully. They had hardly spoken each other since the Midsummer Ball. Lord Babington had left Sanditon for his own estate to arrange his wedding the morning after the ball, not wanting to waste any time in securing the whimsical woman he loved. At the wedding itself they had not been able to speak at length. Lord and Lady Babington had been on their estate, and travelled a few weeks to visit the Peak District, admiring the purple blossoms of the moors and the early autumn colours of the shrubberies. And they had come back to London less than a fortnight ago.

Sidney eagerly grabbed the chance to consult and enlighten his best friend about his state of mind, his frustrations. “I didn’t get the chance to ask her at the ball…. then circumstances changed.” He sighed while they turned back in the house and sat down in the library, hoping he did not sound too emotional. “And I feel awful about my conduct towards Miss Heywood.” He said defeated, rambling. “ I did to her what Eliza did to me ten years ago. Fate has an cruel sense of irony that way… I ruined myself after Eliza had broken off our engagement to marry the wealthy Mr. Campion, blamed her, tried to destroy myself in every possible way in an effort to erase the agony of her betrayal, needed Tom to bail me out of debtor’s prison. After pining for Eliza for ten years I come across this lovely young woman who I brutalize in the most terrible way, accusing her of being a naïve fortune-hunter with no more knowledge of love than can be gotten from the first best romantic novel, only to have her teach me what real love is, and a sense of responsibility and manners. She pierced through the layers of filth on my soul, crumbled the walls of my mind, undid the lock on my heart. Then Eliza turns up back in my life again, ready to wed again. And after having locked the memory of her so long in my heart, I discover I no longer love her, that I am a different person now, in love with the most wonderful young woman whom I gave every reason to believe I would marry her. For the first time in years I felt I could be happy again, ready to settle down. And then this fire burnt down Sanditon, Tom, his family faced ruin and this time I have to bail him out by marrying Eliza for her fortune. ” Sidney spouted bitterly.

“What a story, Sidney, but am I to understand that your betrothal to Mrs. Campion is not at all inspired by your long time affection for her?” Babington asked, a little puzzled.

Sidney sighed again. “I wish it were. You must detest me. I detest myself for it.” He snorted.

“You’ve taken responsibility for your family. And you were willing to reject a woman with half a million pounds to marry a girl who possesses nothing other than an honest nature and sharp tongue. That hardly makes you a fortune-hunter.” Babington remarked reassuringly, wondering out loud: “Was there no other way?”

“Well, it appears to be rather difficult to get people to invest eighty thousands pounds in a project that appeared to be badly insured, without any security for its return, and that in one week’s time. I found only one person willing to trust me with that sum, and her condition was that I wed her.” Sidney replied bitterly cynical.

“Eighty thousand!” Babington exclaimed, leaning back in his chair in shock. “I was willing to offer you some assistance, but even I cannot free up that amount of money. Dear God, how did he get hold of that amount in the first place?!”

“Well, your aunt, Lady Denham, mainly! But she’s lost her trust, quite rightly, and wanted to pull out her money.” Sidney explained, rolling his eyes.

“God knows why.” Lord Babington answered with a sigh “She barely feels need to spend it, she’s disowned all but one of her heirs and Esther has no need for a large inheritance now that she’s married me.”

“You think she married you for your money?” Sidney asked carefully.

Babington shook his head. “No, I’m confident she’s not. She rejected me when she was as poor as a pauper and accepted me after Lady Denham named her sole heir. No, I believe she truly feels some affection towards me, although she keeps insisting that she doesn’t.” he said with a warm smile, chuckling.

“So, you’re happy then.” Sidney smiled.

“I couldn’t be happier, Sidney, and I wish you find that same happiness.” Babington replied while pouring another glass of Madeira for himself, feeling a little responsible for his new relations putting the financial noose around his friend’s neck. He stood wondering a while, mumbling in himself. Suddenly he turned around: “What about your ward and your brother.” He asked in earnest.

“What about them? Sidney asked bemused.

“Well, Miss Lambe owns a hundred thousand pounds and your brother Arthur might also have found himself a rich wife; and I gather the two got along quite well, why not forge that match?” Lord Babington suggested carefully.

“Arthur and Miss Lambe? Heaven forbid! I know am I am not the best guardian, but I would be scandalously abusing my position if I shoved Arthur down Miss Lambe’s throat to get hold of her money!” Sidney responded with some disgust.

“You might not have to force her. They seemed to get along quite well.” Lord Babington replied with a smile, meaningfully raising his eyebrows.

“Maybe.” Sidney sighed, wondering out loud: “He did seem effective in lifting Georgiana’s spirits, but that does not make their match a very prudent one. I mean, I care for my brother, but as long as my sister is still changing his diapers and he doesn’t make himself useful, I don’t consider him a suitable husband for any woman. And I don’t see Georgiana making _him_ happy either. With his soft nature she’ll cut him to tiny pieces with that sharp tongue! So, no, I do not consider that an option.” He shook his head, as if he was trying to convince himself as well as his friend.

“You’d rather sacrifice yourself than allowing two people who might accept each other to get married?” Lord Babington asked with some astonishment, as if he was trying to decide whether to be in awe of Sidney’s self-sacrifice or ridicule his friend for his foolishness. He decided to probe the a little further: “Or, if I may be the devil’s advocate, does your affection for Miss Heywood and _her_ sharp tongue still scare the wits out of you?” looking his friend deep in the eye.

Whether Lord a Babington had meant it in jest, or to sincerely hand his friend a mirror by questioning his motives, Sidney gave him a wounded look, then stared sadly into the fire: “I admit I was in denial of her attraction at first. That her piercing eyes, passing judgment over me, quite terrified me. That I tried to get away from it, but I found that I couldn’t, my iron will and armour drawn to her magnetic pull. And yes, she’s given me a good whipping with that tongue of hers, but I deserved to be disciplined, I needed that. And it’s strange how such a sharp tongue can also be so soft and gentle...” In his mind he remembered their kiss. He felt he had taken advantage of her then. If anyone had seen them, her reputation would ruined. He was sure to be the first to have tasted them, those lips like the petals of a coral rose that had opened its bud for him. He thanked God he had controlled his urge to pluck her, and he wished he could see her blossom once more. He had once accused her to be naïve when it came to love, now he just wished he had left that innocence, her purity of heart, alone.

Lord Babington, seeing his friend dreaming away, raised his eyebrow with an amused smile. “Oh, I know everything about a woman’s chastising tongue that can be both sharp as well as soft and gentle.” Lord Babington reacted with a meaningful smile, as his mind seemed to wander off to his memories of the romantic summer that had passed “Isn’t it strange that what we men desire most in a woman is that she censures and lectures us?” he mumbled

“In the proper way, I guess.” Sidney replied hesitatingly “If it makes better men out of us. I mean Eliza can be sharp enough, but I don’t find speaking condescendingly about other people educating in any sense. It puts me down rather than it elevates me.” He added, still staring solemnly in the fire.

“I’m sorry you feel that way. I had no idea your feeling towards Mrs. Campion were so altered and that you were so unhappy about your betrothal.” Lord Babington reacted worryingly, then blasting out in a nervous laughter: “ I understand now why Crowe said hearing you was more dull and depressing than his vicar’s sermons!” The he added with sincerity “But you have to make the most of it Sidney. If you can’t get out, at least try to revitalize whatever love you had for Mrs. Campion and try to make it work. ”

“Yes, I know…”Sidney sighed, looking depressed. “I have promised Charlotte to try and make Eliza happy. After all, she loves me enough to put eighty thousand pounds to waste and she’s saving my family. God bless Charlotte for being so selfless. I was not so forgiving and understanding when Eliza did the exact same thing to me ten years ago.” His voice turned from earnest to warmth, followed by bitterness.

“Yes, she’s wonderful, but you must either reconcile with your fate and forget about her or find another solution. You cannot continue your life in self-loathing or yearning after a woman you cannot have… again. And Mrs. Campion deserves that you try making your marriage a success. But I doubt she will ever release you from your engagement. And if you make the mistake of hurting her and raising her fury, I’m afraid you’ll find yourself in debtor’s prison, so be careful, at least while you’re engaged. After you’re wed you can allow yourself more liberties.” Babington warned his friend.

“What are you suggesting? That I marry Eliza and then take Charlotte as my mistress? I’m sorry, but I care too much for her to put her in that position, to corrupt her soul like that.” Sidney replied in disgust. “No, I have a mind of travelling again. Eliza has contacts in the East Indies, as she and Mr. Campion were stationed there for many years. I could expand my business. In India at least I won’t run into Charlotte and well, if I cannot make things work with Eliza, she might stay in London, as she has no desire to leave it for hot, faraway places, while I’ll be at the other side of the world. With any luck we hardly need to spend time together till one of us passes away. ” He sounded cynical, taking a sip from his glass.

“Dear God, Sidney, what a gloomy prospect. I’d hate to see you in that detrimental depressing state again! I feel positively guilty for having found happiness myself and not being able to share it with you. I know plenty of men who feel the same after they been married for a few years, when the freshness and excitement about their spouse wears off, but there are few who do not even have hope for an affectionate understanding before they walk down the aisle. I must say I feel for Mrs. Campion that you do not even have a hope of returning her affections in the long run.” Lord Babington replied concerned.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put it in so negative a light. Of course I will _try_ to make it work. Perhaps, if we’re lucky enough to have children, I’ll feel differently. If I cannot find joy in my future wife’s company, I’ll have to find it in other aspects of life. And maybe she’ll grow on me, like other relatives, we do not get to pick them at all and somehow we manage to feel some sort of affection for them.” Sidney tried to reassure his friend of his reconciliation with his fate, but still without any display of hope of marital bliss. He smirked. “Well, it’s fortunate I guess that Eliza wants the largest and most fashionable wedding possible and that apparently we need to wait till Spring for the right flowers to blossom on our wedding day and have every room refurbished to my taste, although I couldn’t care less whether the walls were blue or green…. Apparently Lady Worcester put some ideas in Eliza’s mind about a Spring wedding and of course Eliza would never want to fall out of grace with her.” he added cynically.

“Nobody should want to fall out of grace with her ladyship!” Lord Babington exclaimed “Not as long a she is a certain somebody’s favourite….So, Lady Worcester is responsible for the long duration of your engagement then? And involving herself in your family’s business? Hosting the woman you love as her protégé. I wonder why? And whether I should envy or pity you…” Babington responded with an amused, mischievous smile. “Well, we should grant the ladies projects of their own, be it promoting the development of Sanditon, organizing a grand wedding or taking in young women of little fortune.”

“Yes.” Sidney sighed, wondering at Lady Worcester’s interest in Charlotte, Sanditon and his wedding with Eliza. He didn’t know what to think of Charlotte’s sudden appearance in London. She had made him promise to make things work with Eliza and now she was unexpectedly popping up in his life again. Was she hoping for him to come round, by reminding him of her existence? He had of course anticipated a possible re-encounter. In his mind he had down-played his attraction to her, hoping it would appear not as strong in reality as in his imagination. Now that he had seen her again, he couldn’t deny how much he longed for her anymore. It was not the same as with Eliza, who turned out to be a disappointment after ten years of pining for her. Was Charlotte just trying to get on with her life, keeping up appearances as if nothing had happened and pretending they could go on as before? She must have anticipated that by coming to London, moving in Lady Worcester’s circles, they were bound to meet again? What was the scheme behind it? Not Charlotte’s, for he did not believe her devious enough, what was Lady Worcester up to with her, and with himself? Charlotte had been in his house without him knowing, her hostess was meddling with his family’s big project and yet, when he encountered Charlotte here in the Babington’s house she seemed to be just as surprised as he was and eager to get away from him.

Now that he had seen her again, and had looked in those big brown eyes again, his desire to repeat it only became stronger. She was an itch he had tried to avoid scratching, but now he scratched it he found he had to scratch it even more. He wondered how to do that without raising any alarm, any suspicion and avoid catastrophe for his family. Then he remembered she had expressed a desire to see Georgiana again and he concluded that he could meet her legitimately again if he brought Georgiana with him. He felt he needed to guard Georgiana himself anyway, given the past dangers she had been exposed to, however tedious he found it to wait in the shops while she took her time choosing lace and ribbons. The task had been so annoying and dreary that he had asked Mary and Eliza to accompany the girl, but the opportunity of maybe seeing Charlotte again, without there being anything improper about it, formed a new perspective on his duties as Georgiana ‘s guardian. Then he remembered what he had seen the day before when he accompanied Georgiana on her shopping quest and decided to change to subject of conversation.

“Speaking of young ladies. I have the impression Crowe has found himself one. I saw him come out of a dress shop with one, and I don’t think it was any of his sisters. He says _I’ve_ become dull, but I have actually seen him sober a couple of times and for once _not_ going after every bar maid in a pub.” Sidney started.

“Crowe?! Sober?! That’s a miracle indeed! Really, you don’t suppose he’s fallen for someone! Imagine that! A mistress perhaps!” Babington laughed.

“A year ago I would have said the same of you.” Sidney remarked amused. 

“Well, then we really have to get back at him for making fun of us.” Babington laughed even louder. “We must feed him drunk and question him as he has done with us repeatedly!” He raised his glass and they moved on to the less delicate topic of the best quality Madeira, Port and Portuguese wines that Sidney wanted to import and Babington’s interest in investing in Sanditon.


	8. Mr. Crowe’s secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Crowe is hiding a young lady from his friends, but what is his relationship with her?

# 8\. Mr. Crowe’s secret

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, the notorious Mr. Crowe knocked on the door of an apartment. A soft, female voice told him to enter. It was Miss Brereton. He let himself in and sat down in the big chair across hers.

“How do you do today, Miss Brereton?” he asked with his usual solemnly civil tone, while his face barely hid a little mischievous smile.

“Well, pretty much the same as yesterday and the day before.” she replied amused.

“Now, since you won all the piquet games yesterday, I believe I should be allowed the chance to take revenge.” He said, his face stern, but his voice melodiously joyful.

“Indeed you must.” she said, chuckling.

“and I must win back every shilling you gained from me !” he exclaimed with a grin.

“Oh, absolutely!” she said with a smile.

It had become their daily routine. He would come and drink tea with her, play cards and would make sure that she won more money from him than the other way around without admitting it to be deliberate on his side. They had travelled together from Sanditon the day of the regatta and Mr. Crowe had noticed a he felt a certain interest for her. He would not call it love, but he was intrigued by her more than by any other woman he had encountered. Her countenance appeared innocent, yet he felt there was more to it. When she told him she had been thrown out of her aunt’s house without any means of living and sent off to London without anyplace or anyone to go to because of some rumour spread by Esther Denham he felt an interest in helping her out. Her adamant refusal to return to her uncle’s house intrigued him. He confessed he disliked the uncle that lived with his mother on his country estate and therefore resorted to the city and could well understand her hesitation to return home. He believed himself to be a villain rather than a saviour of damsels in distress, but there was something quite attractive in allying with Esther Denham’s sworn enemy. He was quite discontent with Miss Denham having captured his best friend and corrupting him into being loveable and responsible, and abandoning their rather hedonist pastimes. And as Sidney Parker wasn’t any joy now he had been trapped into an engagement, having a new friend, more beautiful and better scented than his old friends, was quite a delight.

So he rented an apartment for her and she seemed to make no scruples that she expected to have to pay him back in kind and expected him to abuse her vulnerability. And he hated to meet other peoples’ expectations, so it gave him great pleasure to act the perfect gentleman and only drink tea together and play cards. He realised her innocence was nothing but pretence, a keeping up of appearances, that deep within it had been robbed a long time ago and she might be as corrupted by life as he was himself. And instead of paying her an allowance like a common mistress, he made sure she won enough of his money to provide for herself. And he had arranged a pianoforte so she could use her skill and maybe teach young girls how to play the piano. That Miss Brereton appeared to be a fallen woman was another thing that seemed rather attractive. His association with her would shock his relatives and he loved to cause a little scandal. At and at a certain point they had playfully started to call each other husband and wife, imitating and mocking the quarrels of real married couples, a game they played when he escorted her during her shopping. It was a delight to see the shocked faces of the shop keepers as they exchanged licentious words and they laughed at the hilarity of the scenes they staged.


	9. Georgiana’s visit to London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Georgiana has come to London, and pays Charlotte a visit. She tries to escape Sidney's custody.

#  _9._ _Georgiana’s visit to London_

Two days after encountering Sidney, as Charlotte sat reading some travel stories in Lady Worcester’s library, the butler inquired her of three people calling on her, a gentleman and two ladies, one of which was Miss Lambe. She expected to see Georgiana with maybe Tom and Mary when she enthusiastically walked into the drawing room, to discover that it was Sidney with Mrs. Campion. She froze a moment before joyfully hugging Georgiana and gently curtseying to Sidney and his intended.

“Good day, Miss Heywood” Sidney said utmost polite and formal, but with a slightly awkward expression on his face. “Miss Lambe here wished to call on you today. So I’ve been so kind to bring her.”

“Yes, and as I was just stopping by to talk to Sidney, I decided to join and call on you as well.” Mrs. Campion added with an artificial smile. “Sidney is quite insistent on chaperoning Miss Lambe himself, but I always feel a young lady might better be accompanied by another lady.” Charlotte couldn’t help notice Georgiana was rolling her eyes.

“Well, considering earlier events, I feel more reassured protecting Miss Lambe from danger myself, I do not wish to abdicate the responsibility, and dear, I do not see you fending off men with criminal intents.” Sidney justified himself while he looked at Charlotte meaningfully as he reminded her of her prior reproach of neglecting his duty towards Georgiana. The way he called his fiancée ‘dear’ with a tone of sarcasm made her shiver.

“Yes, Sidney dear, but I always feel it is better for a young woman not to travel alone with a man, even if he is her guardian. Just to prevent people from speaking ill of her.” Eliza replied with a smirk. “And Sidney, you’re hardly any support in choosing ribbons and buttons, so I’d pity Miss Lambe if she were to shop with you alone. And yesterday you had less problems leaving Miss Lambe with just myself and Mary.”

“Yes, but, you were with two. I do not feel comfortable with Miss Lambe having the company of just one woman.” Sidney defended himself.

“Well, you must be very busy then.” Charlotte said dryly with a forced smile, turning to Georgiana: “I hope you are not too busy with your shopping to spend some time together?”

“No Charlotte, I’ve ordered quite a lot already.” Georgiana replied “I fact I wanted to ask you if you would come with us to the Kensington Gardens. The weather is good and the autumn colours are really beautiful, I hear.” There was a mysterious undertone that Charlotte had heard before and made her uneasy. Lady Worcester however decided it would be a wonderful idea. Allison declined as she had a wish to continue with a silk painting she had just started on.

Outside, walking into the park, Lady Worcester was quick to take Mrs. Campion’s arm. “Mrs. Campion” she started: “You must tell me more about the proceedings of your wedding plans, have you considered any of my suggestions?”

“I have, milady.” Mrs. Campion said obligingly. Charlotte could overhear her whispering: “I have worked out your idea for the flower beds in the garden, to have our initials written in flowers. But is a surprise for Mr. Parker.” Charlotte felt that Mrs. Campion had intended her to hear of her plans, and having no appetite to hear any further detail of the dreaded event, she slowed down and turned herself to Georgiana. Sidney was walking just a few paces behind her and Georgiana, in silence, as the footpath was not wide enough to accommodate three. Georgiana whispered: “Oh Charlotte, I wished to see you alone, but I can’t get away from my guards. Do tell me you will come shopping with me, I can tolerate Mary, but Mrs. Campion’s a witch. I don’t understand what he sees in her, nodding her head backwards in Sidney’s direction.” Charlotte’s smile dropped. Georgiana looked at her with disdain: “Don’t tell me he’s still high in your regard.” Charlotte merely sighed as the path was widening and Sidney came to walk next to her. Georgiana let go of her friend’s arm, obviously wanting to distance herself from her guardian. They walked in silence for a while, till Sidney hesitantly remarked:

“It is indeed a fine day, is it not, Miss Heywood? Perfect for admiring all the beauty here.” he glanced at her. She felt he was not just referring to the autumn colours.

“Yes, the autumn colours are nice. But I gather Mrs. Campion prefers spring colours for the wedding?” she tried to participate in his attempt at small talk, hoping he didn’t notice the high squeak in her voice.

He looked at his feet for a moment, replying: “Yes, apparently they are more in fashion.” with a cynical tone.

“I gather your name will written in flowers.” Charlotte remarked dryly, smirking.

“Is that so?” he sighed somewhat disinterested, adding in a sarcastic tone: “Everything a man’s always wanted.”

“I’m sorry if the prospect does not excite you.” Charlotte said a little consolingly, glancing shortly at his sad face. “She must love you a lot if she’s making such an effort.”

He sighed again: “Well, she loves to make a statement at least. It’s a pity I can’t enthusiast myself on whether the flowers at the wedding will be lilac, yellow or white or what colour the walls of my new study will have, except that she’ll probably insist the colour of my clothes matches with it, just as she wants my hair cut and waist coat matching that of her poodles….” He sounded tormented and to see him treated as no more a pet and see him treat Mrs. Campion with contempt grieved Charlotte.

“What do you think of the plans for Sanditon?” she stammered, trying to change the subject. “I saw Mr. Stringer when I called on Mary and he showed me the new designs. I was quite impressed by them.”

“Yes, the rebuild of Sanditon is progressing nicely. Mr. Springer is doing a good job. Tom is even more excited than ever before.” he said, a little relieved at the change of topic, adding with a smirk “If that’s even possible.”

“Mr. Stringer will become a great architect I think, he’s so talented. But I guess Tom is taking the credit for it.” said Charlotte.

“Probably.” Sidney answered reluctantly, smiling at her remark about Tom tendency to plagiarism, but otherwise seeming not too happy to discuss the charming Mr. Stringer either.

“So how have you entertained yourself so far in London? What are your plans? I recall you were not too enthusiastic about what London has to offer?” he asked instead. She fell silent for a moment when remembering her last visit to London, the search for Georgiana, their arguments, how she changed her opinions of him afterwards, how he had complimented her and she discovered her love for him. She gathered her thoughts and told him about Lady Worcester’s library and cabinet of curiosities, her visit to the British Museum the day before. She planned to visit some galleries and learn as much as she could. “No balls?” he asked half surprised, half hopeful, raising one eyebrow “I thought you were fond of dancing?”

“I…there are a few planned. I am not much in the mood for dancing these days. But Allison would very much like to go. It is her first time away from Willingden, so I must oblige her. In fact my uncle is taking us to a masked ball tomorrow evening.” She replied, hoping her voice didn’t falter too much.

“Your uncle? You have relatives in London then? I do not recall you telling about them.” He asked surprised.

“My father’s younger brother and his two sons.’ Charlotte elucidated. ”… I do not know them well. He does not visit us often and my parents have never taken us to see them. My father and his brother do not see eye to eye…but my uncle has taken my brother William in as an apprentice and has taken it upon him to take me and Allison out.”

“Ah.” Sidney replied understandingly. “And he has two sons?”

“Yes, my cousins Roger and Edward, they too work in his office.”

“What does your uncle do?”

“He is a solicitor.”

“And your cousins, they are married?” he asked carefully.

“No, they are not.” Charlotte said, rather wishing to avoid the topic of marriage.

They walked some moments in silence with hands behind their backs. Then she saw Mrs. Campion, who was still walking with Lady Worcester some dozen yards in front of them, look over her shoulder, raising her eyebrows. Charlotte looked at Sidney and pointed it out to him: “Mrs. Campion wants your attention.” He looked up. And Charlotte wanted to turn to Georgiana, but noticed her friend was no longer walking with them. “Where is Georgiana?” she asked suddenly.

Sidney started looking around, startled. For a few moments Sidney and Charlotte look at each other with a scared look of recognition. They had been too distracted to notice Georgiana was not walking behind them anymore and started calling for her. Mrs. Campion and Lady Worcester stopped to look behind them. Then Georgiana appeared from behind one of the sculpted shrubs, her bonnet in her hand. She walked up to them. “I’m sorry, the ribbon came loose and it flew away.” She said apologetically, looking a little flushed. Sidney, relieved, reproached her for not warning them and walking away.

“I’m sorry, I thought it would only take a second, but then it blew even further away. Thankfully a gentleman caught it and returned it to me.” Georgiana said. Charlotte saw a man in navy uniform behind the shrubbery walking away from them. There was something familiar in his manner of walking. Sidney however didn’t seem to notice him and the man disappeared from sight.

“Georgiana, do I need to remind you that you of the danger!” he said angrily. “Miss Heywood and I got quite a scare!”

“I’m sorry!” Georgiana cried “I didn’t go that far, I could have cried for help if necessary. And as it is, I’m more in danger of being suffocated or dying of boredom than anything else. Haven’t you punished me long enough? Can I not walk two paces without jailors? Or would you have a chain attached to my leg, like they did with my mother?” Charlotte examined his face and recognised his wounded look. Sidney asked Charlotte to leave him alone with Georgiana for a minute.

As Charlotte walked to the other two ladies, Sidney sighed. “Georgiana, you know very well I abhor slavery. And I don’t mean to punish you. Merely to protect you as I promised your father I would.” he added softly.

“You also promised him to introduce me into society.” Georgiana bit back. “But I am hardly allowed out of my room. I haven’t been to a ball since Midsummer.”

“I’m sorry, Georgiana, if you feel locked up. We will take you out a bit more. There are a few balls while you are in London. I’ll accompany you there.” He said in resignation.

“I’d rather go with Charlotte.” Georgiana replied

“You’ll get to see her as well. But I insist I come with you. ” he stated firmly.

“And what about Charlotte, Sidney?” Georgiana sneered at him. He looked her in the eye with some warning. “Do _you_ plan to see her again?” Georgiana continued with angry reproof in her voice. Sidney said nothing, as the other three ladies came their way and came withing hearing range.


	10. The masked ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Allison are taken to a public ball by their uncle, to introduce them to suitable bachelors. Sidney meets Charlotte's brothers, Eliza digs into his mind and suggests moving the wedding forward. Georgiana makes another escape and Charlotte and Georgiana quarrel over the men they love but cannot have.

#  _10._ _The masked ball_

The following evening, Charlotte and Allison’s uncle came to pick them up for the masked ball. As it was a public ball, Lady Worcester decided not to come with them, as she would attract too much attention. But she saw the merits of Allison and Charlotte being introduced at such a place. To their great surprise, not only their cousins and brother William were there, but also their brother Thomas. “I thought I’d come to London and see to it you that you find proper husbands.” he teased them and the girls were led on the dance floor by their brothers. Much to the two sisters’ disagreement, their cousins and uncle also quickly secured two dances with them each, obliging them to endure their awkward company for some time before another gentleman could release them. Their uncle was good enough however to introduce his nieces to some acquaintances, all respectable men with small estates, clergymen, doctors and other solicitors, each of them civil and kind, but none that gained their interest.

Charlotte stood before a window, while a Mr. Redford quite tediously was trying to inquire after her favourite psalm, when, to her delight, she saw Georgiana enter the ballroom. Though Georgiana wore her mask, her hair and colour and the stares from the other attendants made her identification possible. Then her heart stopped, seeing Sidney appearing right behind his ward. He too was wearing his mask, but she would recognise his silhouette, the slight swagger with which he walked, the shade of stubbles around his well-formed, genteel lips, the clench of his muscular jaw and Greek nose from any crowd. They were accompanied by Mrs. Campion and Arthur and Diana Parker. Charlotte hesitated for a moment, deciding on whether to walk up to her friend or wait till she could speak to her alone, but Georgiana had already picked Charlotte waving at her from the crowd and walked straight up to her, with the two gentlemen, Diana and Mrs. Campion right behind her.

The two friends hugged. Charlotte politely greeted Sidney and Mrs. Campion with some uneasiness, but showed some greater cordiality towards Arthur and Diana who were mutually enthusiastic about seeing her again. “Miss Heywood! What a pleasant surprise! How good to see you again.” Arthur exclaimed, on the point of stepping on the dance floor with Georgiana “You’ll have to excuse me now, but I hope you will dance the next with me.” He took Georgiana, who feigned some resistance, by the arm before Diana could protest against her brother ‘s overactivity.

At that moment Charlotte’s cousin Roger and brother Thomas appeared again and after being briefly introduced, Roger claimed his two dances with Charlotte, leaving Sidney looking rather disappointed behind his mask. He watched her sweep over the dancefloor in the silver grey satin gown. She looked lovely, the silvery colour became her. The dress reminded him very much of the one she had worn at the Midsummer ball. If not for the colour and some of the details, he could swear she was wearing the same dress. That evening he had hoped to become the happiest man alive, when he had meant to ask for her hand. Her lips had already consented that morning on the cliff tops without saying a word. He had made her that wordless promise, his own lips touching hers, to love her for eternity, and he felt heartily ashamed of himself now. That very evening everything fell apart. First sir Edward Denham disturbing the ball right at the moment that Sidney wished to propose. Then that horrid fire which had obliged him to engage himself to Eliza to save his brother’s family from ruin. An attachment he had yearned for many years, only to discover that his old love was as shallow as a rain puddle, drying up at the first burst of sunshine, and his love for Charlotte as deep as the ocean. That cruel irony of fate to let him show his love for her and feeling that wonderful sensation of being loved back only to come to the conclusion that they had to part. 

Thomas Heywood, seeing his neighbour gazing at his sister, remarked to Sidney. “How lucky you are, Mr. Parker, to have just _one_ sister and having her settled with her own little capital, so she’ll not depend on you for her keeping. It must have made it so much easier in finding a such a jewel of a woman to accept you.”

Sidney smiled politely, but said nothing, looking at Charlotte, who was gazing back, while trying to ignore her dance partner’s wrong steps. Thomas continued: “I have seven sisters you know, all depending on me for their keeping after my father’s death, if I don’t get them settled. But my sister Charlotte is quite determined to remain an old spinster and my father is quite reluctant to let his favourite child and little bookkeeper go. I had hoped she would find a husband while staying with your brother’s family in Sanditon, but alas, it seems my headstrong and opinionated sister has scared off any potential suitors.”

Sidney, quite irritated at the way Charlotte’s brother talked of her, frowned at his conversation partner, turned his gaze again to the topic of conversation and dryly replied “ I’m quite sure there were one or two gentlemen who quite admired those qualities in your sister.”

Thomas looked up at him, noticing Sidney was again looking at Charlotte. “Perhaps there were. “ he replied “but not enough to tempt them into an engagement. Not without a proper dowry…”

Sidney kept silent.

“My father thinks someone broke her heart in Sanditon…”Thomas muttered “Do you have any idea who that might have been?”

“Whoever he was, he deserves the eternal flames of hell for robbing a young girl the light out of her eyes.” Sidney grumbled.

“Ah yes, I dare say my sister has learnt a lesson in humility.” Thomas continued, intrigued. “No more ranting of true love and wealth being unimportant… And she needs to get practical. Well, at least Roger seems quite taken with her bookkeeping skills, being quite fanatical about the competence himself. He’ll make her a proper husband if she doesn’t find another suitor.”

Sidney, feeling somewhat nauseated and trying to suppress his irritation at the whole idea responded tightly: “And how does your sister feel about this?”

“Maybe’s she’s not keen on the idea yet, but she’ll warm up to him eventually. My mother is quite set on their match, should Charlotte’s prospects be unchanged by Christmas. Once Charlotte is settled she can introduce our younger sisters to suitable candidates. Three of them already old enough to wed themselves. ” Thomas argued his plight.

“Hmm.” Sidney replied “Your sister’s hostess, Lady Worcester, seems to be quite animated with her accomplishments. I’m sure she’ll help Miss Heywood get well settled.”

“Let’s hope so.” Thomas replied. “But I’m afraid my sister will be no more than a source of amusement, a common flirt at best in her ladyship’s circles. And then I’d rather have her settled with an honourable gentlemen of more modest, but sufficient, means who respects her virtue.”

Sidney kept silent and bit his lip.

“Now, my other sister Allison, I have better hopes for.” Thomas enthusiastically remarked as Allison swept by with his cousin Edward. “Good-natured, sweet, accomplished and lady-like. Good listener, modest and not in the habit of speaking before she thinks. Our cousin Edward might be the right candidate for her, but I dare say that unlike Charlotte, Allison’s got the qualities to attract more fortunate gentlemen.” Sidney again did not answer.

Mrs. Campion, who had had to deal with Diana’s rambling about the dangers of dancing for Arthur, turned to Sidney. “I would very much like to take a turn myself, but I’m afraid you are the only man in this room I dare stand up with. Well, and your brother perhaps, but I wouldn’t want to go against Diana’s concerns.” she added somewhat sarcastically. Sidney apologised for having being preoccupied and held out his hand to lead her to the dance floor. “Yes, your responsibility towards your ward quite consumes you, my dear” she said. “Isn’t it time you got her properly settled… I mean, if we are to have children of our own, I wouldn’t want them deprived of their father’s attention because you’re still raising someone else’s child. And with Georgiana’s fortune it should not be so hard to find an eligible candidate who may overlook her colour and lack of propriety and pedigree.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve neglected you.” Sidney said, forcing a smile, while annoyed by her remarks “Georgiana _is_ taking up a lot of my time and I’ll have her settled when time comes. But I won’t force on her the first best fortune-hunter. She’s vulnerable, she has been through quite a lot in her life. I need to be sure that whoever it is she marries, that he will make her happy. If you are willing to share the responsibility and introduce her to proper candidates and guide her, that is fine. But do not feel obliged to do so before our marriage. I cannot demand it of you. The organisation of our wedding is already asking quite of lot of your time and Georgiana’s character requires us to be quite patient.”

“I think you are _too_ patient with her dear, but I’ll not interfere. “Mrs. Campion reacted resignedly. “What I _will_ do is take her to some proper assemblies and balls, where she can meet more appropriate gentlemen. I don’t understand why we had to go to this public ball. There can be no proper candidates for her here.”

“It was Georgiana’s request after hearing her friend would be here. And, Eliza, frankly I’m glad she’s showing an interest in something other than depressingly staying in her room.” He replied a little irritated, avoiding to look in her eyes.

“For Miss Heywood this a more proper venue, I guess.” Mrs. Campion sighed, glimpsing at his reaction towards mentioning the girl’s name. “I don’t understand Lady Worcester’s meaning in taking these girls in and introducing them to social circles very far from their own. What good will it do them? They will hardly find a husband like that.”

“Why not?” Sidney asked surprised, looking at her.

“Well, I’m sure they’re sweet girls” she replied a little condescendingly “But they have no extraordinary accomplishments that will attract some well-to-do suitors. Without a dowry, their best chances of finding a husband is with someone of their own station. ”

“Well, do not underestimate them, Lady Worcester seems to be impressed by their qualities. And they come from very respectable family. Tom tells me their forefathers were knights at court in teh times of the Tudors."

“Who doesn’t have a forefather who was a knight hundreds years past? It doesn’t discern them. And Lady Worcester may be _amused_ by them. And she likes a project, but I’m not sure she has the girls’ best interest at heart. And she may have an adverse influence on them.” Mrs. Campion snorted.

“How so?” Sidney asked bemused “Well...”Mrs. Campion said hesitatingly “It takes a women of virtue to protect the virtues of young girls. And we all know what sort of person Lady Worcester is. If she was not the ‘special friend’ of a certain somebody, few people would be seen with her.”

Sidney looked her in the eye, irritated and a little concerned. “I thought she was _your_ special friend, since you seem to take her advice at heart.”

“Well, I do not wish to _offend_ her, given her influence. But I wonder whether we should follow up on her advice of a spring wedding. I mean, the autumn colours are beautiful as well.” Mrs. Campion argued.

“Well, if you insist on waiting another half year, I’d say ‘whatever you wish dear.’."Sidney replied with forced smile.

“Oh Sidney, silly, you are amusing. I was thinking of maybe the end of the month, before you leave for Lisbon and Madeira. I believe your brother would feel more reassured if our union took place on short notice, he seems quite desperate for your financial assistance and if we waited another year, you’d have a problem repaying that loan you took, backed by my fortune. You are to repay it in a twelvemonth.” An almost sinister laugh escaped her.

Sidney tried not show any panic. Indeed Tom was displeased with the delay in the wedding, but he was certainly not in a rush himself. “Well, you determine the conditions dear.” Sidney said carefully “But you just expressed a wish to see Georgiana settled before it takes place and you have already put so much the effort in the spring wedding. And it would be quite unromantic if I left you for such a long period right after the wedding, don’t you think ….And as much I like the prospect of starting a family of our own, I would not wish people to think we got ahead of ourselves. People would wonder at the sudden rush and I would not like them to think adversely of you.” He smirked while looking her in the eye.

She kept silent for a moment : “You are right dear, it was just a thought… well maybe I _will_ devote my time to helping others finding felicity in marriage. Maybe I can do something not just for Miss Lambe, but for the Heywood sisters as well.”

“Sidney glanced at her with a questioning expression on his face. “”The Miss Heywoods..” he said with a little tremble in his voice. “Why them?”

“Well they need all the help they can get.” she replied with a smile. “And we mustn’t be selfish. Now that we’ve found one another we should help others find happiness as well.” She looked him deep in the eye.

“You are too good for this world.” he replied, not without sarcasm, forcing a smile.

They stopped talking, just taking turns in glancing at Charlotte, who looked quite uncomfortable, waltzing with her cousin, and happy to have her dance partner replaced by the more exuberant Arthur Parker. Georgiana in turn obligingly danced with Charlotte’s brother Thomas. Sidney watched them close. He was not at ease with Thomas’ interest in Georgiana after the way the latter had talked about material advantages being more important than affection in marriage. Thomas didn’t even seem to care about his sisters’ happiness, let alone that he would care for another woman’s, he was another fortune-hunter that he needed to protect his ward from. But looking at Georgiana, he saw no inclination of any interest on _her_ side, which reassured him. Charlotte on the other hand showed more enthusiasm in dancing with Arthur, which created some more concern. He was glad to see Charlotte’s sincere laugh again. Her delighted smile warmed his heart, but he could not read her eyes behind her mask. He was concerned with the potential match. He was well aware that if he went through with his marriage to Eliza, Charlotte might marry someone else. The idea of her marrying her joyless cousin Roger disgusted him. But an alliance with Arthur, if his brother was interested, would put her too close to himself.

When the couple finished their second dance, Sidney thought of asking Charlotte, but before he could make up his mind, Eliza said: “Sidney, I should not keep you for myself. There are not enough gentlemen here to dance. Why don’t you dance with Miss Heywood.” He looked at her with a pleasant surprise, only to find out she pointing at Miss _Allison_ Heywood. He obligingly offered Allison his hand, while Allison, feeling a little intimidated, hesitantly accepted. He saw Charlotte being introduced to a gentleman he did not know while he was trying to talk to her sister Allison about how she enjoyed the ball and inquiring after their further plans in London. Allison told how they were to be taken to painters, scientists and other interesting people. What interested Sidney the most was that Charlotte liked to take a walk in the Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park almost every day no matter what the weather, but that Allison was not always interested in accompanying her. Distracted by his thoughts, he did not observe Georgiana had left the room by herself. When he noticed her absence he apologised to Allison. He asked Mrs. Campion and Arthur who were dancing together to look for Georgiana as they swept by.

Charlotte too, apologised to her dance partner and started searching. She eventually found Georgina in another room, not too well lit, by the open window. Charlotte thought her friend was taking in the fresh air, then she realised that her friend was talking to someone behind the curtain and that they were standing improperly close to one another. Drawing closer she saw the shoulder pads of a navy uniform. It dawned on her that the day before in the park, the man who had caught Georgiana’s bonnet had also been wearing a navy uniform.

Georgiana, seeing her approach, quickly came up to her, stating she had felt out of breath in the stuffy ball room. But Charlotte looked past her to distinguish the contours of the gentleman she had been talking to. Georgiana saw her glance, tried to distract her, but Charlotte asked her about who she had been talking to . “Oh just some marine.” Georgiana tried to dismiss Charlotte’s inquiry. Charlotte raised her eyebrows and looked her friend in the eye. “Georgiana, are you seeing a man?” she asked carefully. Georgiana, looked at her friend hesitantly. “You can confide in me, Georgiana.” Charlotte reassured her.

“Will you not tell on me?” Georgiana pleaded.

“I’m your friend, Georgiana. As long as I don’t believe you in any danger of some sort I don’t feel any obligation to reveal any of your secrets.”

“It is Otis.” Georgiana merely replied.

“Otis!? A are you still bent on seeing him?” Charlotte replied astonished. ”After what he’s put you through?”

“He’s changed, Charlotte. He’s abandoned gambling and joined the navy. He is sorry for what he has caused. And I am giving him another chance. I only wish Sidney would, but we’ll have to wait till I come of age. And in the meanwhile we have to do with some secret letters. Otis is on a short leave and I had to find a way to see him, if only briefly.” Georgiana answered melancholically.

“You saw him yesterday in park too, did you not? Is that why you were so keen on walking in the park with me?” Charlotte asked, a little agitated.

“I’m sorry if you feel I used our friendship. I indeed wished to see _you_ too.” Georgiana said apologetically . “I hope you will not tell Sidney?”

“Not for now, but we must get back in the main assembly room, Sidney has already noticed your absence... and you must tell him about Otis yourself. If what you are saying true, that Otis has improved himself… I’m sure Sidney will reconsider if he’s convinced Otis can make you happy.” Charlotte tried to persuade her friend.

“Charlotte, really, you must know by now that Sidney does not care about my happiness. Or _yours_ for that matter!” Georgiana responded sneeringly. Charlotte looked at her wounded. “You must open your eyes, Charlotte! I have warned you! He’s a cruel man who is only interested in filling his own pockets. Remember that I have seen how he’s made his fortune!”

“You mean the same way your father did? You live of it quite nicely!” Charlotte retorted.

“That was below the belt, Charlotte!” Georgiana said wounded. “I cannot help the origins of my fortune, and as soon as I can control my own funds, I will use them to end that injustice! You’re not the first to blame me for who my father was. The English despise me for who my mother was, the slaves, or former slaves, hate me for who my father is. Have you any idea what that is like?”

“I’m sorry” Charlotte replied sincerely.

“But back to Sidney, apart from how he’s made his fortune, remember how he’s treated you! How he has treated other women. Whatever he may have said to you to make you believe he had some affection for you, as soon as he could lay his hands on half a million pounds, he did. And I dare say he feels nothing for Mrs. Campion. That man is incapable of understanding what it is to love.” Georgiana continued her arguments.

“You don’t understand him.” Charlotte said, nearly shouting . “He’s sacrificed his own happiness to save his family from ruin. Is that not love?” she cried

“And of course there were no other means.” Georgiana replied sarcastically. It is not like he didn’t already have money.”

“Not eighty thousand pounds…”Charlotte whispered.

Georgiana stared at her for a moment in shock, but then continued: “Eighty thousand! Well that is a lot.” Georgiana grimaced. “But Mrs. Campion is not the _only_ person who could finance that and I don’t recall Mr. Sidney Parker requesting _my_ help. So whatever he has _told you_ , I’m quite sure he has quite _other_ motives to marry Mrs. Campion.”

Charlotte looked down for a moment. “I’m sure Sidney would never abuse his responsibility as your guardian. I know him.” she said softly.

“Do you Charlotte? That is maybe what you want to believe, but I have known him for a decade and I can tell you: you’re not the first woman whose heart he’s broken. Like I said, he is incapable of love.” Georgiana bit at her.

“No Georgiana, you’re wrong. You know how he _was_. But he was a bitter man, bitter through a broken heart long ago. And he has changed.” Charlotte desperately tried to convince her friend.

“Changed?” Georgiana sneered. “I haven’t seen the proof of it yet.”

“Well, _you_ are very confident _Otis_ has changed.” Charlotte hissed back. “Why should _I_ believe _you_? You accuse _me_ of blindness, but aren’t _you_ blind just as well? You forgive Otis for getting you abducted because of his debts, but you think _I’m_ too forgiving for Sidney.”

“Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you, Charlotte. Sidney’s toyed with you and he’s doing it again, but this time you know he can’t make you any promises. My goodness, he’s not even married to that woman yet and he’s already bored with her, looking for some innocent girl that he can take advantage off! You wouldn’t be the first, Charlotte!” Georgiana looked at her in earnest.

Charlotte could only burst in tears. And to her great embarrassment, Sidney appeared just behind her, exclaiming his relief that Charlotte had found Georgiana. He froze when he saw Charlotte’s face. Even with her mask on, he could see she had been crying “Charlotte?” she heard him ask softly. “What is the matter?”

“What do you think is the matter Sidney?!” Charlotte heard Georgiana sneer at him. “But why should I be surprised at such a question from a cold and unfeeling man like you?” Georgiana added. Charlotte looked up, seeing his wounded expression, only half covered by his mask. She met his soft, sad eyes and they glanced at each other with a look of understanding. Then she saw Mrs. Campion approaching and she turned away to face the open window.

“Well, well, Miss Lambe! You gave Mr. Parker here quite a scare by your sudden disappearance again.” Mrs. Campion reproached with her usual artificial smile.

“I am sorry, Mrs. Campion, it was just that the air in the other room was quite stinging my eyes and I felt suffocated. I merely wished some fresh air. I did not mean to cause any concern.”

“Oh well, I see Miss Heywood’s eyes are disagreeing with the air in here too.” Mrs. Campion answered, observing Charlotte stand a bit further away before the open window. “Perhaps we shouldn’t stay much longer then.” She grimaced at Sidney to remind him she had considered the venue rather inappropriate for people like themselves.

Georgiana confessed being done with the ball as well. She took a moment to walk up to Charlotte. “I hope you know I only have your best interests at heart, Charlotte.” She whispered gently.

“I hope you know I do the same for you as well.” Charlotte answered, giving her friend a grateful smile for her genuine concerns, supressing her own sobs.

“I know you practically risked your life and reputation to rescue me. I won’t forget you’re the best friend I have.” Georgiana answered apologetically, hugging her friend.

“I won’t tell Sidney I saw you with Otis here.” Charlotte reassured her “If that’s what you’re afraid of. But be careful with your own heart as well. Maybe Otis has changed for the better, but then you must allow Sidney to show he’s changed as well.”

“Maybe.” Georgiana replied thoughtfully. “I promise you I won’t elope with Otis. I’m not foolish, not anymore. He has yet to prove he is worthy of me. ” She took Charlotte by the arm to walk her back to her relatives, while Sidney and Mrs. Campion followed them. Roger Heywood immediately professed his concern when told Miss Heywood wasn’t feeling very well and took Charlotte’s hand and held them in his own, stating: “We’ll take good care of you, cousin.” in a manner that seemed inappropriately eager.

Sidney at that moment rolled his eyes somewhat. Mrs. Campion looked up: “I believe Sidney isn’t feeling very well either.”

“Perhaps something difficult to digest.” he tried to ward off her concerns.

“Well, I know you are too proud to admit to any illness.” Mrs. Campion said with a meaningful smile. “But I believe I must take good care of you and make sure you stay at home in bed for some days.”

And so they all left.


	11. Meeting Inspiring people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady Worcester has arranged a busy programme for Charlotte and Allison. They meet with famous scientists and musicians, visit concerts. Charlotte and Sidney cry over the same opera). Charlotte faces sexism and discusses prejudice with composer and violin player George Bridgetower who used to be friends with Beethoven.

#  _11._ _Meeting Inspiring people_

The week following the masked ball, Charlotte had quite a few interesting activities. Lady Worcester had noticed her interest in science and set up some meetings where Charlotte could learn from several scientists. Lady Worcester had the three of them meet a John Herapath[1], who had a few years earlier done some discoveries concerning the ‘physical properties of gasses’. Charlotte was shown the working of new steam engines and how they were applied in new ships on the Thames. They met with astronomers who were busy forming a new astronomic society. Charlotte expressed a wish to join, which was interpreted as a joke, for the idea of a woman becoming a member seemed quite odd. “But aren’t there women astronomers?” she asked. “What about Hypatia in ancient times, or Mary Somerville and Caroline Herschel nowadays?”

“Well young lady, you seem rather well informed.” one of the gentleman said. “ And there are indeed a few women who enjoy studying astronomy. But there is a difference between serious science and a woman’s hobby….But if you are interested, you are welcome to come and look through our telescope in the Royal Observatory some evening.” Charlotte forced a smile, not knowing whether to be offended by the disdain for women’s abilities or grateful for the invitation to the observatory and Lady Worcester accepted the invitation on her behalf.

Other days they went to expositions, concerts and opera’s. One evening, about a week after the ball, Charlotte saw Sidney at the opera with Mrs. Campion, from a distance. Their boxes were opposite of each other. Charlotte had difficulty concentrating on the performance of Purcell’s Dido and Aeneas[2]. Her eyes often wandered to the other side of the theatre. She noticed he often glanced back. He had only given a small nod in recognition when they saw each other across the corridor, from a far distance, but she now felt he was watching her all the time, whenever Eliza’s spy glass was directed towards the stage. Charlotte made sure to direct hers there whenever her blond rival tended to turn her face their way. Charlotte could see how Eliza often tended to pat Sidney’s knee and how he twitched irritated whenever his betrothed touched him or asked for his attention with her artificial smile. He would curl up the corners of his mouth, but his eyes remained cold and his scowl remained in place.

As the first act started and Charlotte heard Belinda sing: “Shake the cloud from off your brow, fate your wishes does allow. Empire growing, pleasures flowing. Fortune smiles and so should you.” Charlotte looked across the room to Sidney, going back in her mind to the conversation she had with Tom after they’d rescued Georgiana, about the cause of Sidney’s bitterness and how he had smiled at her the day of the Midsummer Ball, when Fortune seemed on their side with a successful regatta, and the reciprocity of their love for each other and close to a formal attachment. But just as in the opera, fate had different plans for them. “Cupid only throws the dart that is dreadful to a warrior’s heart.” she heard the chorus sing. She pictured Sidney as a Greek warrior on a chariot. The way he had jumped from their carriage to the one that Georgiana was abducted in.. yes he was a warrior, a hero. But as she saw him sitting now, he was very far from that role. Charlotte sighed. This opera was torment. The plot and the text reminding her of tragic history with Sidney, seeing the tragic interaction between him and his fiancée. Realising just how much she really loved him…seeing him, too distant to enjoy his company, too close to not see his suffering. How much she wished to embrace him…

When Charlotte heard the witches sing in act two: “harms our delight and mischief all our skill.’ Charlotte could imagine Eliza Campion singing along. And when they sung “Elissa’s ruined”. Charlotte almost heard “Eliza’s Ruined” and she supressed a snicker. Then she felt remorseful. She should not wish Eliza any harm. Charlotte did not like her, but the woman was the saviour of the Parker family. Her ruin would be the ruin of the Parkers. At the final scene when the soprano playing Dido sang the heart-breaking words: ”Remember me, but ah forget my fate.” Charlotte could not keep her eyes dry. Under normal circumstances the beauty of the music, the words and magnificent performance by Angelica Catalini, the famous Italian soprano, was enough to make any person emotional. And the tragic story remembered her of her own fate, abandoned by her lover because duty dictated him to do so. She could watch his tormented face as he was held captive.

“Well Charlotte, I thought Allison was the great music lover of the both of you, but I see this the performance has not left you untouched.” Lady Worcester commented with a warm smile as they rose and left their box after the performance. Lady Worcester had requested meeting the grand dame. As they entered the changing room, Charlotte and Allison were speechless. Allison could only stare at her idol, Charlotte was still trying to supress her sobs. But Lady Worcester quickly started speaking to the soprano in excellent Italian and Charlotte saw they lady gesturing a curtesy of gratitude. Lady Worcester explained: “I told her your tears should be regarded as a great compliment, I have never seen a friend of mine so moved by a performance.” Charlotte smiled nervously. More of relief because her emotional response could interpreted as something positive, than of actual joy.

As they boarded their carriage, Charlotte observed the one in front was being boarded by Sidney and Mrs. Campion and she overheard Mrs. Campion say: “Sidney silly, stop being so feeble. You’re practically crying like a little girl. I’m glad you were touched by its performance, but for heaven’s sake, it’s just an opera. Next time we’re going to see a comedy…or are your eyes so red because that cold is plaguing you again. You should stay indoors the next few days.”

Charlotte saw his muscles tighten, his jaw clenching and he stole a tormented look with his dewy eyes before both of them stepped in their respective carriages. The lack of respect Mrs. Campion showed for her betrothed’s feelings repulsed Charlotte. It was bad enough that Mrs. Campion showed her nothing but disdain. But then Charlotte knew it was induced my Mrs. Campion’s insecurity and jealousy, because Sidney did not love her as much. But, she, Charlotte did not have to spend the rest of her life with this woman. Sidney however would have to undergo this respectless treatment every day. Seeing Sidney’s pain only aggravated hers. As they drove home Charlotte wondered why Lady Worcester had insisted on attending Purcell’s tragedy rather than one of Rossini’s comedies. Had she known Sidney would there? How the story would remind them of their own misfortune? What was her friend trying to achieve?

The next few days Charlotte was often too distracted at their many concerts visits to pay real attention to the performance. She kept thinking of Sidney and secretly hoped to see him and kept looking around at every venue in the hope to catch a glimpse. Allison’s enthusiasm for the concerts however quite compensated Charlotte’s lack thereof. Allison was especially ecstatic hearing Maria Frances Parke sing and play her own compositions on the piano. Lady Worcester made sure Allison got copies of sheet music of the latest compositions by John Baptist Cramer and Schubert to study herself, and arranging master classes from some of London’s finest piano teachers. Lady Worcester waved away any objections to her efforts for the girls’ education. “Nonsense, I have no children of my own, who else should I help with their education? What else should I do with my time? And your talents, dears, deserve to be developed. It would such a waste if they weren’t, a crime to humanity, a blasphemy to ignore what God has provided you with.” Of course, the Heywood girls did not want to be accused of blasphemy or deprive her ladyship from her quest in educating young girls, so they reluctantly accepted all the attentions and privileges. Lady Worcester did a good job in giving them the feeling they were doing _her_ a favour than the other way around.

Allison slowly began to feel less intimated by the people they met and the grandeur they were shown and she showed more confidence in her presentation of herself. Charlotte was proud of her sister, but one evening, Charlotte did not know whether to laugh or feel embarrassed when they attended a private concert given by the Prince-Regent’s protégé, George Bridgetower [3]and Allison kept staring an gaping her mouth as they were introduced to the prodigy beforehand. “Allison!’ Charlotte tried to remind her sister of her manners. (It was usually the other way around).

“I’m sorry, Charlotte, it’s just…I hadn’t expected….I mean I have never seen…”Allison whispered.

“A mulatto? An accomplished mulatto? One that can play the violin rather than drums?” the good man asked her playfully.

“My apologies, sir!” Allison replied with a blush. “Indeed it’s not the first time I meet a mulatto, one of my sister’s best friends is one…It’s just, I’m familiar with you compositions, I really admire your work, and I just had a different face in mind with your name.”

“A white face, I guess.”

“Well…yes.” Allison reluctantly admitted

“Well, I’m used to this reaction, if I had a penny for every time people would or amaze themselves at the colour of my skin, well….” he said. “If people would know before they heard me, they would probably not even consider my work. If they hear about a mulatto with a violin, they’re more likely to associate it with the street organist’s monkey and not a composer and musician who has performed and composed with Beethoven.” he smiled a little sadly.

“You know Beethoven!” Allison exclaimed in enthusiastic disbelief.

“Yes, who doesn’t.” Mr. Bridgetower replied sarcastically. “Everybody knows _his_ name.” adding a little despondently: “We were good friends and colleagues. He gave me his tuning fork and had dedicated a sonata to me: ‘Sonata per uno mulaticco lunattico’ which means ‘Sonata for a moody mulatto’, also known as the Bridgetower sonata. But because of some ill-remark of mine, he’s gotten angry with me and he has given it another name…’the Kreutzer Sonata”. The last words were spoken with disdain and disgust. “I sometimes wonder whether Beethoven would still be more famous than I if he were coloured and I white…and at other times I wonder if people come for my music or rather for the sensation of seeing a mulatto play the violin…Let’s just say I’m glad, Miss Allison, you’ve come for my music and that the colour of my skin has had no effect of you appreciation of my compositions. I regard that as a true compliment.”

Allison curtseyed a little uneasy. 

“I think we women know a little what you mean, Mr. Bridgetower.” Charlotte tried to console him. “How often do female authors not have to publish anonymously or a man’s name to get their work appreciated. If they send in their work under their own name, it is often rejected by publishers. Unless one is white, English, Anglican and a man of high birth, one gets underestimated. People think we are capable of nothing intelligent and anything we say or do will quickly be discarded and we have to work twice as hard to prove otherwise.”

Mr. Bridgetower smiled. “Well perhaps… but are you ladies too always stared at? .. Odd question…Of course you are, your beauty must attract much attention, if I may say so without getting lynched.”

“Why should anyone lynch you for giving a compliment?” Allison asked him befuddled.

“Because apparently my race is seen as a danger to women like you and any appreciation of women of your race must therefore be suppressed.” He replied a little sarcastically, then continuing: “Have you ever been mistaken for a servant, because of your appearance, or worse: have people scream in fear or shout at you because they think your dangerous?”

“Indeed not sir.” Allison replied apologetically, a little embarrassed at her own primitive behaviour at their first encounter. Charlotte hesitated to answer as her mind drifted off to her first encounter with Sidney and his yelling and shouting at her at later incidents.

“Miss Heywood?” Mr. Bridgetower asked her inquisitively.

“Well, it has happened to me, but I believe the gentleman’s esteem for me and behaviour to me quite improved.” she replied diplomatically.

“Well, I hope that gentleman is ashamed of himself.” Allison added offendly.

“Indeed, who would mistake you for a servant and yell at such a graceful woman as you?” Mr. Bridgetower asked curiously.

Lady Worcester remarked playfully: “In your case it was probably the gentleman’s intention to tease you and attract your attention.”

Charlotte blushed, and Mr. Bridgetower smiled silently at the tacit confirmation that her ladyship had hit the right mark.

“Well, Mr. Bridgetower, as you might have noticed, we are merely provincial farmer girls dressed up as elegant London ladies.” Charlotte replied cynically.

“Charlotte!” Allison exclaimed with some shock.

“I wouldn’t say, Miss Heywood.” Mr. Bridgetower replied.

“Well, the next time a lady mistakes me for a servant or screams at the sight of me, I’ll presume her to be in love with me. A much nicer thought than thinking she disregards or fears me.”

Charlotte’s face flushed, her head started spinning as her mind wandered off to her dealings with Sidney and Georgiana. “Yes, she had been mistaken for a servant herself, but recollecting the ghastly reactions at the first ball in Sanditon on Georgiana’s entrance, and Georgiana’s look of humiliation and pain, Charlotte felt it inappropriate to share her own experience with prejudice with Mr. Bridgetower. Her own bad experiences were probably nothing compared to his. And she didn’t feel like sharing she witnessed Georgiana’s experiences either. It was not her pain to share and she didn’t want to exhibit her friend as some exotic commodity she had acquired.

“I apologise, Mr. Bridgetower. I did not want to presume the extent of our experience with prejudice is the same.”

“No apologies necessary.” Mr. Bridgetower replied politely. But Charlotte felt he appreciated them nevertheless.

Mr. Bridgetower bowed and left them to prepare for his performance.

“Such a gentleman!” Allison couldn’t help to remark after he had turned away.

“Had you expected otherwise?” Charlotte asked her with reproaching sarcasm. Allison gave her an embarrassed look and they took their seats. “You don’t have to emphasize how provincial I am compared to you, Charlotte!”

“I’m sorry. I fear my faults are the same as most people’s.” Charlotte replied

“Apology accepted.” Allison replied. “I do think Mr. Bridgetower was a little forward and displaying his bitterness too much.” she added.

“We can’t blame a man for being honest.” Charlotte responded : “and opening our eyes to injustices in the world.”

“But must he do that at a social gathering as this?” Allison wondered. “Is that an appropriate topic of conversation?” 

“What other occasions would he have to draw attention to the problem?” Charlotte asked her. “In my opinion, it’s because nobody wishes to discuss anything slightly uncomfortable or heavy that too few people get acquainted with the problems in the world, real problems I mean, and none get solved. Instead, society gossips about trivialities, slandering the names of innocent girls for minor improprieties as if they were mortal sins. What’s the logic in that?”

“Oh, Charlotte…”Allison sighed a little annoyed “You’re behaviour is inveterate!”

Charlotte’s face sank, as she remembered Sidney’s words when he spoke about Otis when they were looking for Georgiana. But Lady Worcester, sitting next to them commented “Well said Charlotte!” and Allison dared to criticize her sister’s behaviour no more.

Charlotte tried to concentrate on Bridgetower’s performance, which was touching and exquisite. The man possessed the talent of making his violin speak his despondent emotions. It reminded her of how Allison played piano, except this was on a much higher level. But the emotions laid out in the music made her thoughts wander off to her first encounter with Sidney again alternating with her discussions and dealing with Georgiana and Otis. Why had he called her the maid? Was he really unimpressed by her at the time or had he been teasing all this time? He had made assumptions about her, just as she had made about him. She had accused Sidney of prejudice after Georgiana’s and Otis’ tales about him, but she remembered how he had welcomed Georgiana at the first ball in Sanditon, after the humiliating reception by the rest of the public. Even though Georgiana had hated him for bringing her to Sanditon and didn’t hide it, he had saved her face by immediately asking her for a dance, showing the rest of the crowd she was to be treated as their equal, a respectable young lady. At the time Charlotte had wondered whether they were quarrelling lovers, considering the degree of familiarity and tension between them. She laughed at the thought now. A brotherly care, was more like it. Like she and Thomas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I did some research on the scientific developements of the time and John Herapath's research on gasses was quite a big thing at the time. ( and can be a hilarious conversation topic...) 
> 
> 2\. Purcell's 'Dido and Aeneas' is my favourite opera and some the aria's reminded me of Charlotte's and Sidney's tragic love...
> 
> 3\. I came accross an article discussing whether Beethoven was black (he most likely was not), but there were other composers that were. Many have been forgetten by the big audience, while white European (and male!) composers dominated the legacies transferred to us. One of those black composers was George Bridgetower, whose musical education was financed by the Prince Regent! Said to be just as talented as Beethoven, but he never became as famous and died in poverty. So I decided to include him in the story and give him the fame he's due. You can find the article and some other names here: 
> 
> https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/was-beethoven-black-and-why-might-be-wrong-question-ask-180975159/


	12. The Sanditon Promotion Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evening of Lady Worcester's dinner party to promote Sanditon has arrived and Charlotte discovers her hostess has cooked up a rather awkward seating arrangement. Charlotte discusses women's occupations and science at the dinner table and comes up with a new idea to attract visitors to Sanditon, while slowly becoming more at ease with Sidney's company.

#  _12._ _The Sanditon Promotion Dinner_

Charlotte was so excited about all the things she learnt, that she nearly forgot that Lady Worcester had invited a large party to promote the new build of Sanditon. Lady Worcester had two of her own gowns refitted for the girls. Allison’s dress was made of white muslin with a primrose yellow silk bodice, Charlotte’s was a puce silk that very well flattered her complexion, decorated with little embroidered roses. The girls were quite nervous about the event. Allison mainly because so many lords and ladies were expected; Charlotte because she knew Sidney would be there. She hoped she would be able to avoid him, just like she had done at the ball and concert the week before. She had felt awkward all evening at the ball, first by her overly attentive cousin Roger and then the arrival of Sidney and the rest of the Parker company, feeling his eyes on her all evening, then that blow out with Georgiana. And seeing him at the concert had been nothing short of agony, but they had managed to their distance, even if their eyes had wandered to the other side of the concert hall all the time.

Lady Worcester had arranged it as such that there were to be some presentations in the library first, a music performance and then they would dine. At least Charlotte’s relatives were not invited this time, saving her much embarrassment. Tom and Mary were the first to arrive with Mr. Stringer. Charlotte was very glad to see them and helped them set up their presentation in the library. She was admiring Mr. Stringer’s designs when Sidney came in, of course accompanied by Mrs. Campion. She gave them a short nod of recognition, but quickly turned back to her discussion with Mr. Stringer. Allison joined them, giving even more compliments on the drawings and expressing a wish to show Mr. Stringer her own. He politely accepted the offer to have them shown to him after dinner.

The guests dropped in. Besides their host, the two sisters, the Babingtons, Mr. Stringer, the Parkers, Mrs Campion and Georgiana some thirty other guests had been invited. To Charlotte’s surprise, not only Lady and Lord Babington had been invited, but she saw sir Edward Denham walk in as well. He was wearing a red officer’s coat. Charlotte saw Lady Babington gasp for air when she noticed her step-brother’s presence. And Lord Babington seemed having trouble to control his anger at seeing his brother-in-law. But Sir Edward gave them only a quick nod and seated himself quite far from them and they recomposed themselves.

After the presentation given by Tom and Mr. Stringer they were led to the dining room. Mr. Stringer followed last with both the Heywood sisters on his arm, one at each side. Charlotte took in the opulently decorated table and observed the seating arrangements. Across the table was Mr. Stringer with next to him Allison. Down the table, close to Lady Worcester, sat Edward Denham next to Mrs. Campion and across from them Lord Babington, while his wife was seated next to some other lord. On Charlotte's left there was Arthur with on his other side, Georgiana. Charlotte heard her friend sigh: "Another pineapple to display one's wealth and dominion over exotic places....Well, at least this time I'm not on the platter myself."

"Well, you looked a lot more appetising than that pineapple I cut at Lady D. House." Arthur joked. Georgiana tried to look offended but could not help laughing at the memory.

Charlotte could not hear the rest, because when she saw who was seated at her right, her heart skipped a beat. Sidney gave her a warm smile as he sat down, drawing his chair just a few inches closer to hers than necessary. Charlotte wondered whether Lady Worcester was aware of the inconvenience of it all. But she realised that her friend had deliberately positioned her at his side. 

“Good evening, Miss Heywood.” he said warmly. “What a coincidence that I should sit next to you again.” he remarked, referring to the awkward luncheon at Lady Denham’s house in honour of Georgiana’s coming to Sanditon. Charlotte smiled at him faintly and felt her fingers fiddling with her cutlery nervously. She saw him watch her take off her gloves, as required for dinner, and placing them in her lap and she felt herself quiver at his glare.

“I hope you find me more agreeable this time and willing to share your observations on the present company… or shall I take my unpleasantness elsewhere?” he whispered softly. She felt his hand being subtly laid down on the table, his pink touching hers. She froze for a moment, but the soft touch of his hand was so appeasing to her that she could not withdraw her own. She looked at his hand for a moment, admiring its well-manicured nails, the slender fingers, the softness of its flesh, tone of its muscles, the veins like little rivers. She looked in his eyes, seeing the warm expression in them, his sad countenance slightly lighting up. She shook her head with a smile. “I believe you will try to be civil.” She answered his question and she saw the corners of his mouth curl into a tender smile, for the first time since he had told her about his engagement to Mrs. Campion. She looked down the table at her neighbour’s fiancée and then withdrew her hand just an inch while a footman served her wine.

“Well, the first civil question then is to ask how you recovered after the ball and how you liked the opera.” Sidney asked with a nervous grin.

“I recovered quite well and the opera performance was very beautiful…and touching.” Charlotte replied, the tone of her voice unusually high. “And you, Mr. Parker, I believe you were a bit indisposed yourself at the ball? And I thought I heard Mrs. Campion express her concerns about you catching a cold at the opera.”

“Yes, well, as you said, the tragedy was performed quite convincingly, and I might have gotten a little emotional, as you were, I think, but my intended thought I was getting ill. “ he showed a sad smile “and it was nothing serious, but Mrs. Campion insisted on my staying indoors and attempting to nurse me.” He grimaced with a sigh: "So I haven't been allowed to attend any other event the past few days and she tried to convince me to decline tonight's invitation as well."

“How caring of her.” Charlotte replied dryly.

“Yes, although I can’t say my future wife is as talented in caretaking as others. But as you can see, I'm perfectly all right, well, my body is at least...” He said with a meaningful frown.

“We cannot all be practical.” said Charlotte with a forced smile, ignoring his last remark. “and it shows of great affection from her side if she’s trying to do something for you that is not in her nature.” she pointed out to him.

“Yes, perhaps.” Sidney answered, taking a sip of his wine. “Though practicality seems to be a major attraction in marriage for some.” He said with a tone a mystery. Her eyes questioned him. “I had an interesting conversation with your brother Thomas.” he added.

“Really!” Charlotte answered sarcastically with a smirk. “Congratulations. You are probably the first person to have that experience in talking to him.”

He laughed at her remark, but then his face turned solemn: “Well, apparently I’m not the only one to walk down the aisle soon.” Charlotte raised her eyebrows. “Your brother is apparently bent on having you settled while you are in London.” He said with a serious tone.

“Well, my brother has little to say about that.” Charlotte replied dryly, forcing a smile again.

“As long as your father is alive, yes.” Sidney continued in earnest. “But in the unfortunate situation your father should pass away, you will be dependent on your brother and seems not very willing to support his many sisters. And apparently he is quite taken with the idea of you marrying your cousin Roger. And your cousin himself seems quite partial to the idea of having a practical wife who shares his fondness of bookkeeping.” he smiled cynically.

Charlotte, for the second time at Lady Worcester’s dining table, found herself swallowing her wine down too fast, attracting the attention of the rest of the table, while Sidney patted her back and Arthur on her other side gave her a lecture on all possible foods that might induce choking hazard. “Well, my kitchen does seem unfavourable to you again, dear Charlotte!” Lady Worcester called from across the table. “I am quite all right.” Charlotte reassured her. “Please continue, there’s nothing wrong with the food.”

As the rest of the guests returned to their own conversations, Sidney continued: “I gather the idea of marrying your cousin is not very appealing to you?”

She gave him an angry look. But he didn’t seem to want to ridicule her. Then she recomposed herself. “It is wholly unfair that we women are expected to rely on our fathers, husbands or brothers for our keeping. It is a burden to _them_ and _we_ are denied the opportunity to earn our own money through respectable trade.”

He smiled, a little amused at her little outburst. “Well, most of us gentlemen feel honoured to provide for you ladies and there is a great privilege in being free from labour.”

“Is it?” Charlotte questioned him. “Is it a privilege if we are not given the choice? And _are_ we free from labour? Or is it just that we are not _paid_ for it?”

“You mean it is a form of slavery?” Sidney asked her, quite intrigued by her statement, looking her in the eye. “Yes, I can imagine that being financial dependent on your spouse can make you feel that way.” he said with sadness in his voice. “Indeed I recall that you once said that marriage without equality of affection is a sort of slavery.”

She looked at him with pity in her eyes, but then she added in a cynical tone: “At least _you_ will have all financial freedom once you’re wed. You men have all the power in marriage.”

“Men may have the legal and financial power in marriage.” he argued. “But I believe in a good marriage it is the woman who controls her husband’s heart and mind, creating a great partnership.” He said the last sentence with great tenderness as he looked in her eyes and laid his hand again on the table, close to hers.

She smiled humbly at him, unable to utter a word, as she felt herself blush at his statement.

“In any case, you women have the most important job in the world, that is rearing children.”

“Yes, well we hardly get a choice in that and again: no pay… ”

“Well, I know some husbands do pay their wives generously for providing them with children, take the last Duke of Devonshire…though of course the value of your effort is priceless.”

“Well, don’t underestimate the role of the father.” she argued cynically.

“Well, the father ‘s effort is very brief, I can assure you.” He said playfully.

She looked in shock and blushed as she realised what he was implying.

“I meant that fathers are quite important in the _upbringing_.” she clarified with some irritation. “ _My_ father at least has been indispensable. I owe much of my education to him. And I fear I would have strangled my mother and my big brother without his interference.” She muted her voice to a whisper hoping Allison wouldn’t overhear. But she saw her sister look at her in slight shock after which she failed to supress a chuckle.

Sidney smiled a little embarrassed at having referred to the act of conception, but recollected himself. He smiled. “I’m glad you have a good relationship with your father…Now, I’m curious, what profession you would choose if you _were_ to choose a trade.” He asked, trying to change the subject.

“Well, not what many women are _forced_ to do.” Charlotte said.

“What do you mean? “Sidney asked curiously with a slight frown. 

“Well, the choices are a very much restricted to working in a household, becoming a maid or a governess if you have the right education. But for others it may only be places like that ... ‘boarding house’.” she said quietly with a disapproving tone.

He sighed. “You think those women are _forced_ to do what they do?” He asked carefully.

“Well, I cannot believe any of them doing that voluntarily, certainly after that business with Georgiana, you must see that.” she argued

Again he sighed. “Point taken. But I can assure you there women enjoy working there, however disgusting it may seem to you.” He sounded a little irritated at arriving at this topic that did not quite put himself in a favourable light.

“Now, what kind of work would you rather do. Bookkeeping?”

“Perhaps. But I have been doing that mainly to be useful, doing something meaningful….meanwhile…I have learnt so many interesting things about science, and new technologies this week.” she said excitingly. “I would love to work on that, if only I would be allowed to.” She told him about all she had learnt and he listened to her quite animated. Now that they had moved on to safer topics than marriage or inappropriate trades, she felt more relaxed talking to him. She told him all she had learnt about Adam Smith’s economic theories, about the latest scientific discoveries and inventions. When discussing compressing gasses and steam engines she enthusiastically expressed:

“I find it really exciting, expanding gasses, all those boilers and pipes, the pumping and steam coming from it.” She noticed he gave her a strange look, saw him swallow, and the conversations next to them silenced for a moment. She looked a little insecurely at him “What is it? Have I said something wrong?” she whispered.

He examined her eyes for a moment. “No.” he said, looking at her with an amused, but endeared expression. “You’ve said something perfectly innocent.”

She continued: “I really believe there is much future in steam power, I would so much like to be a part of that. There are boats on the Thames and in the America’s using it, and machines on land too. They might even replace sails and horses someday.”

“Well, that seems a little farfetched. But you think it wise for me to invest in such developments?” he asked her, looking at her with curiosity.

“Well, I’m not sure you should rely on _my_ advice for your business investments.” She said with a humble smile

“Why not? Do not underestimate yourself, of all the people here you are probably the most visionary.” He answered.

She blushed, briefly unable to utter a word while he looked at her with admiration. “Well, don’t forget your very visionary brother” she reminded him with a laugh after she recollected herself. “I cannot say I have seen much of the world. Besides Willingden, Sanditon, and London I have been nowhere, mostly locked up with romantic novels, needle work and a pianoforte.” she bantered.

He laughed a little embarrassed at her remembrance of how brutally he had dismissed her opinions on the first ball they were together. He had felt a need to fight his attraction to her at the time and she came too close to his heart by complimenting him on being the ‘sensible ‘one of his brothers and giving her honest view of his brothers, very much matching his own.

She continued: “I believe you’re exaggerating, Mr. Parker, but since it so rare for a woman to be taken serious in these matters, I can appreciate the compliment. It quite balances the remarks I have had from other gentlemen these past weeks.”

She saw him examine her face. She tried to hide the pain of the insults she’d had about her abilities to comprehend science as a woman, while being expected to be grateful to get any explanation or instruction at all.

He looked at her a little pitiful and remorseful: “If anyone has offended you, belittled you, they’ll soon regret it. I know, because I’ve made the mistake to underestimate you myself, to my own expense. You may have not travelled far physically, but in your mind you have travelled further than most of us have. You might as well have been to the stars and back. Your wisdom and insights exceed your lack of experience in certain matters.” He complimented her warmly. She smiled humbly and grateful as she felt herself glowing under his gaze. Then she recomposed herself a little and expressed her excitement to visit the Royal Observatory in Greenwich the following week and changed the topic to astronomy. “Well, it seems Lady Worcester has arranged quite an exciting programme for you.” Sidney said pleased. I didn’t know you were so much into science.”

“Well, I had little opportunity to learn.” Charlotte admitted “I enjoyed the classes by the masters that were employed by my parents to teach my brothers, my father didn’t mind my attending, but of course I haven’t been to Eton or any such place. But I am catching up now.”

“Not just catching up, again I believe you’re more knowledgeable than most of the people at this table, of whom many did go to Eton or Harrow.” He repeated his compliment again and she felt how he caressed her with his gaze. She went mute as she felt the fluttering in her abdomen. An accidental nudge from Arthur on her other side brought her back to reality and she stammered: “Well, I’ve always enjoyed looking at the stars. My father would take us outside at night-time and explain us all the different constellations… Oh wouldn’t that be something for Sanditon?” she exclaimed.

“What do you mean?” he asked bemused and curious.

“Well an observatory with a telescope. To watch the stars or maybe a viewpoint from the cliff tops across the sea…” her voice softened and her gaze dropped to her plate when she remembered their walk together, the day of the Midsummer ball. When they were alone and admitted having dreamt about the other. With him sitting so closely by her side, she could remember the taste of his lips even better. She glanced aside, looking him in the eye. She could see he was thinking the same. But then she shrugged her shoulders and took a bite of her pudding.

Arthur, sitting on her other side, but much preoccupied with entertaining Georgiana with discussions about pineapples their beneficiaries for health and how they symbolised colonialism, had overheard Charlotte and Sidney and called out. “Well, Miss Heywood, that is a wonderful idea! Tom, have you heard that? Miss Heywood is suggesting an observatory, or telescope or viewpoint of some kind for Sanditon.”

Charlotte felt her countenance flushing with colour when she saw all the guests staring at her in interest and then at Tom. Tom smiled and said: “Yes, that is a great idea, I had been thinking of that myself.” Sidney shook his head with a meaningful look at Charlotte, apologising for his brother with his facial expression. She saw Mr. Stringer doing the same across the table, while the other guests started nodding and whispering their appraisal of the idea. “It’s all right.” she whispered to Sidney with a shy smile.

“What would Sanditon be without you? “Sidney whispered warmly and noticed Mr. Springer across the table nodding in agreement and raising his eyebrows at seeing Sidney’s hand patting Charlotte’s.

Mr. Stringer was not very talkative and seemed quite intimidated at the grandeur of it all and preoccupied with using the right cutlery and how to hold his glass. Allison, sitting next to him, gladly took it upon her to show him the proper manners and kindly correcting him when he made a mistake, saving him from embarrassing himself. Despite Mr. Stringer’s inclination to watch Charlotte and Sidney sitting across from him, Allison kept trying to draw his attention to herself. Sidney, being aware that Mr. Stringer had observed the little intimate hand contact and after withdrawing his hand, looked across the table to check on Mrs. Campion. He saw her turn her head their way a couple of times, but Sir. Edward Denham, sitting on her other side required much of her attention.

Mrs. Campion was a little displeased at the seating arrangement, observing Sidney being assigned a seat next to her young rival, which she hardly believed to be a coincidence. But her neighbour being so attentive, she had little opportunity to keep an eye on them, as it required turning her head away from her conversation partner. And she reconciled herself to the situation with the thought that in such a company Sidney and her rival could only behave properly. There was no point in making a scene that would humiliate herself most. And her neighbour flattered her with enough decorum for her to feel pleased with his attentions without feeling uncomfortable. Sir Edward was most kind in asking her about a the details of the wedding plans and the refurbishing of her house. He asked her if she had considered adding some lines of her favourite poems in the design for the wall hangings and expressed his preference for the works of Sir Walter Scott. And he starting citing his favourites, much to the pleasure of Mrs. Campion.

“Why, Sir Denham, with such talents, I am amazed you have not found yourself a lady already.” She responded, quite pleased.

“Yes, well, apparently poetry will not do for most ladies…and since I have been cut out of my aunt’s will through some vicious slandering scheme of a greedy woman, all I have to offer besides love and poetry is a title.” He answered, bitterly glancing across the table to his step-sister.

“You mustn’t despair, Sir Denham, there are many ladies of fortune who would be glad to accept a man like you.” Mrs. Campion said with a polite smile.

“Indeed, I hope so.” he said somewhat despondently.

“Do come for luncheon tomorrow and I’ll see what I can do for you.” She tried to console him.


	13. Alone on the balcony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney catches Charlotte alone for a moment. Charlotte pleads with him on Georgiana's behalf. Several quarrels follow. Mr. Crowe confides in Charlotte.

#  _13._ _Alone on the balcony_

After dinner, when the company was invited to the drawing room, and the men stayed behind a while in the dining room to drink their port, Charlotte walked up to Lady Babington. She had seen her friend’s great grief at seeing her step-brother again, though Esther insisted it was just her appetite failing her and having stomach pains. Charlotte had Lord Babington notified by one of the servants that his wife seemed unwell and wished to leave early. They apologised to Lady Worcester, saying Lady Babington was indisposed, reassuring the hostess it had nothing to do the dinner served. Charlotte escorted Esther out of the drawing room and apologised for the presence of Edward Denham. “If I had known, I would have advised her ladyship against inviting him.” Charlotte said. “Lady Worcester is not acquainted with your history.”

“Well, let’s hope nobody is.” Lady Babington merely replied. “But if I may confide in you, my indisposition seems to have a happier cause.” she said with a meaningful smile. Charlotte looked at her quite puzzled. “Lord Babington and I seem to be expecting an addition to our family, but don’t tell anyone else for now.” Lady Babington whispered.

Charlotte looked at her in excited surprise and whispered: “Oh Esther, I’m so happy for you!” and as Lord Babington and Sidney joined them, Charlotte gave her friend a hug and wished Lord Babington goodbye, giving him a meaningful smile, to notify him that she knew their happy little secret. While Sidney escorted the couple to the coach, Charlotte turned around and decided to grant herself a little break from all hustle and bustle and walked to the back of the house and opened the door to the balcony. She stared across the torchlit garden, looked up to the sky to give her thoughts some room, wrapping her shawl around her.

A few minutes later she was startled by the sound of the door opening again. It was Sidney. Charlotte felt it was better to go back inside again, but Sidney stood in her way.

“I’m glad I’m catching you alone for a moment, Charlotte.” he said softly.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea.” she whispered, feeling vulnerable and uneasy about the impropriety of the situation. 

“I just want you to know that I’ll never stop caring for you.” He said softly, looking in her eyes. “And I want to ask you not rush into things. I…know your family is pressing to you to get married, but please take your time.” He pleaded.

“You’re saying that if can’t marry you, I shouldn’t marry at all.” Charlotte answered bitterly. “I don’t think it is any of your business. Mr. Parker.”

He sighed: “I know, and I wish you every happiness, but I haven’t entirely given up on us yet.” He took her hands in his, rubbed them affectionately with his thumbs.

For a moment she felt hopeful and looked up at him, feeling she was drowning in his dewy eyes. Then she recollected herself, remembering the inevitability of their partition and loosened herself from his grip and turned away from him. She felt an anger coming up. “Why, have you found eighty thousand pounds elsewhere?” She replied sarcastically.

“No, but there’s still time.” He replied, though his voice contained little hope.

Charlotte remembered her conversation with Georgiana. “Have you even _looked_ elsewhere?” she asked him reproachingly. He looked at her a little puzzled. “Georgiana says you never asked for her help. She thinks the thought of owning half a million pounds was too great an attraction for you.” Charlotte explained herself with a bitter voice before starting to sob.

“Charlotte, please!” Sidney exclaimed in despair. “Do not allow Georgiana to poise your mind against me. The reason I have not asked her because I would be a pretty worthless guardian if I tried to use her money, just to secure my own happiness. And considering her repulsion of me and of Sanditon, I doubt she would even be willing to invest. And I wouldn’t know how we would repay her.”

“Yes, she’s still angry with you for not allowing her to marry Otis.” Charlotte replied in a calmer tone, turning back in his direction, feeling a little reassured that her hunch about Sidney’s motives was right. “She’s forgiven Otis for his mistakes, but not you.” She said melancholically.

“Otis, Is she still thinking about him?” Sidney asked a little surprised. “Has she _forgiven_ him, after all he put her through?”

Charlotte regretted having mentioned Otis, she did not want to betray Georgiana. “Her love is very strong. She believes he can change. But she is not so blind as to not demand proof of it.” She answered hesitatingly.

“Are you saying she’s still in contact with him? “Sidney asked her carefully, with a concerned frown on his face.

“I…cannot tell.” Charlotte said, looking at the ground.

Sidney glanced at her, worried, but trying to reassure her. “It’s all right, you’re her friend. If she’s confided in you, I won’t ask you betray her. I will not put you in that position again. But thank you for warning me.” Charlotte smiled at him, gratefully relieved at his understanding she did not want to choose between her loyalty to him or that to her friend. “Well, I know Mr. Molyneux to be far away at sea. Little chance of them getting together. And I’ll make my inquiries, to see if she’s right about him changing his conduct.” he said pensively.

Charlotte kept silent for a moment. Then she said: “Thank you for reconsidering. I just hope she’s not only able to perceive _his_ improvement.” she said looking quite tenderly in Sidney’s eyes. He smiled back warmly, she could see her own reflection in his eyes.

“If one of us can be happy in love, I believe it is my duty to try to make that happen.” he said softly. “And hopefully she will not be the only one.” He said, stroking a lock of Charlotte’s hair out of her face.

“Please, Sidney, let’s not torture ourselves. Even if you would find the funds, Mrs. Campion will never release you from your engagement.” Charlotte said defeatedly as she gently pushed away his arm.

“I cannot make you any promises now ” Sidney whispered sadly. “But I do not want to give up on us yet. I would like to see you while you’re in London. Just talking to you is so much of a relief from my turmoil. You are the only one who understands me.”

“Sidney, please.” She whispered, feeling a new sob coming up.

“It meant what I said then: ‘with you I’m my best self’.” He added tenderly, caressing her cheek with his fingers.

“Right now, I feel I’m making you your _worst_ self.” She reproached him.

He sighed. “At least promise me never to marry that awful cousin of yours.” He said. “If you must marry someone other than me, at least marry someone who values you properly and not just because you’re ‘useful’.”

“Again, Sidney!” she exclaimed, “I do not think it is any of your business whom I marry, if you’re marrying someone else yourself.”

“I’m sorry, I just mean to say, that should you should never feel forced to accept a man who cannot make you happy, you can count on me to help you. If your brother somehow casts you out, if you feel cornered, I am happy to provide for you.” He said softly as he leaned quite close to her.

She could smell his breathe of wine and port, taste it almost as his lips drew closer to hers.

“As your mistress?” She said with some disgust “Now, who’s cornering me? Are you even a gentleman?” she retorted. She ducked and tried to step backwards but finding herself blocked by the wall and loosing her balance at the top of the stairs down to the garden.

“No, Charlotte!” he exclaimed with some desperation as he grabbed her by the shoulders.

At that moment the door, which was ajar, opened further and Mr. Stringer appeared, locking quite shocked.

“Miss Heywood!” he exclaimed “Are you all right, is this ‘gentleman’ bothering you?”

Both Charlotte and Sidney looked a little caught. Charlotte recomposed herself. “It’s all right Mr. Stringer. I was just feeling a bit faint and I went outside for some fresh air. And Mr. Parker here just prevented my falling down the steps.” she said, giving Sidney a meaningful look.

Mr. Stringer looked worried and a little infuriated, his pinching eyes giving a warning to Sidney.

“I think I better go in lay down a while, please excuse my absence with Lady Worcester.” Charlotte said hastily, her voice squeaking, as she turned back inside. “I will come down again in a while.”

“Yes, indeed.” Mr. Stringer said with some worry. “We were actually looking for you to tell us some more about your ideas for Sanditon.” He tried to sound friendly. Charlotte forced a smile back “I’m sure Mr. Tom Parker has already worked them out quite well.” She said to the amusement of both gentlemen.

While Charlotte walked in and climbed the stairs to her room, Mr. Stringer stood in the doorway, and spoke to Sidney with an angry tone of warning: “Mr. Parker, I do not know what went on here, and it might be none of my business. But I do not think it a good idea for a gentleman to lead a young lady to such a dark corner.” Sidney nodded, looking a little irritated. “Now, Miss Heywood is a dear friend, a real treasure. And I would not like to see a man who is not married to her taking something from that treasure, especially if the man is not willing or able to legally make that treasure his own. I know I am dependent on your family for my living, but I’ll defend a lady if I have to. Do I make myself clear?!”

Sidney, looking annoyed, snapped at him. “I understand you perfectly, Mr. Stringer. And I do not like your insinuations, especially as they may harm Miss Heywood. Now, I appreciate you care for her well-being, so I won’t hold this against you, but know you’re not the one who cares for her most. ”

“Well, we’ll see about that, but then I trust you will try to keep her from hurt?” Mr. Stringer said rhetorically in an angry voice.

Mr. Stringer let Sidney inside and without saying another word to each other, they walked back to the drawing room, where Mr. Stringer was almost immediately clutched by Allison, reminding him of his promise to see her paintings. “But I see you are busy. “she said. “Maybe you can call on us sometime later?” she suggested. Mr. Stringer eagerly confirmed, happy with prospect of seeing Charlotte once again.

Mr. Stringer had noticed Charlotte’s absence earlier in the evening and had wanted to look for her, but their hostess had insisted on introducing him to Mrs. Campion and having the latter explain all the plans for redecorating her grand house. Mr. Stringer now looked at Sidney Parker and wondered what had been going on. It had been rather dark on the balcony but he could swear he had seen tears in Charlotte’s eyes. And he could accept his rival when she had been glowing with happiness, at the Midsummer Ball, but he wasn’t going to accept her being hurt again by a man who had no intention of making her an honourable woman, who had little consideration for her reputation. He had observed with great annoyance how the man had been touching her hands over dinner, flirting with her while his intended was seated just a few yards away. Seeing them on the balcony, the man’s hands holding her arms had outraged him. If Mr. Parker had any regard for her whatsoever, he wouldn’t place her in a position where she was alone with him. He wondered at Charlotte allowing Sidney Parker these liberties. He had always thought her a strong woman. He had seen her argue with Sidney Parker before, but he wondered if she could see the man had no honourable intentions with her and whether she was strong enough to resist him. He remembered the consoling words of his friend Fred Robinson: “Sometimes a woman first needs to burn herself on a burst of a flame, before she can appreciate the warmth of a friendly and steady hearth fire.” And he thought with some embarrassment at what Fred had added “and before you know your little bun is baking in her oven.” He had reproached Fred for this lecherous remark, but he couldn’t help hoping it to become true. That she would give in to him, at the appropriate moment, that she would welcome the display of his affections and provide him with the fruits of love.

Charlotte came down again after half an hour or so with mixed feelings. Having felt Sidney’s warmth and affection for her and his asking not to give up on them getting together had met with her desire. She was able to feel some hope again. But she feared it would all be for nothing. He could make her no promises that were honourable. What if waiting for him to be free, which might not ever happen, meant sacrificing her chance at happiness with someone else? Back in the drawing room, she and Sidney glanced at each other shortly, but he was standing with Mrs. Campion who gave her a condescending look. She was glad Mr. Stringer came up to her and meaningfully asked her if she felt better. His voice was warm, but concerned. “I hope your stay in London is not causing you any dangerous affliction? “ he asked carefully.

“No, I guess I am just a bit exhausted from all the excursions and concerts last week.” she said with a forced smile, adding. “and the air in London is very much filled with smoke, it stings my eyes sometimes.”

“In deed the air in London is not as good as that of Sanditon.” he agreed friendly. “Well, next time you feel faint because breathing in this town is a difficulty, maybe not stand on the balcony with just a single gentleman to catch you up. I would hate to see you fall.” he said, looking her meaningfully in the eye. She nodded that she understood his meaning. “Thank you for your concern with my well-being and safety.” she merely said.

Then Mary caught up with her as Mr. Stringer was pulled away to discuss the architectural wishes of some potential investor. “My dear Charlotte” she said “You’re making quite the contribution to Sanditon again.” Then she said softly “I saw you were seated next to Sidney at dinner.” giving her a meaningful look. “Yes.” Charlotte replied with a sigh, her voice high “We had quite an interesting conversation.” She smiled, trying to too look too emotional.

Georgiana joined them and after Mary was claimed by Tom to introduce her to some people, Georgiana whispered: “I noticed you and Sidney were out of the room together.” “Yes, we took our leave from Lord and Lady Babington.” Charlotte said with an embarrassed smile. “Well, that took you some time then.” Georgiana observed with raised eyebrows. “Mrs. Campion seemed quite suspicious at your absence together.” Charlotte said nothing, wondering whether to tell her friend that Sidney might be willing to give Otis a chance. She decided to keep silent and not give her friend any hope. “Mrs. Campion has nothing to fear from me.” Charlotte merely whispered back.

“Really?” Georgiana asked her with a little disbelief.

“ I’m not allowing it.” Charlotte stated firmly. “And I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

“Good, guard yourself, Charlotte. Now, what have you been up to these past days, as I have been denied the pleasure of seeing my best friend.” Georgiana changed the subject.

“Oh, endless concerts and exhibitions.” Charlotte replied.

“Anything interesting?” Georgiana asked obligingly

Charlotte thoughts wandered off to the Dido & Aeneas Opera, but that would again raise the ‘Sidney-topic’ again. “Well, I met some famous composers and musicians.” she said

“Any of them eligible bachelors?” Georgiana teased.

“Well, I didn’t ask, and for your information, there were women among them.” Charlotte replied a little irritated. “But I think I had the most interesting conversation with George Bridgetower, the violinist and composer. You should meet him.”

“Why? because we’re the same race? Do you think we’re destined, on that base, to like each other? Or because we have similar tastes? Or is he good company?” Georgiana asked her critically.

“Well…not just his race, I think you have shared experiences, because of your similar background.”

“hmpf!”Georgiana snorted “Similar background? The man was born in Poland, from a German mother and his father is from Barbados, not Antigua. He grew up in the houses of royals on the continent. How does that compare to the daughter of a British plantation owner and a Antiguan slave? If you mean that we’re both facing prejudice because of our colour, perhaps, but what else do I have in common with a married man twice my age who performs music and is as poor as a pauper despite his fame? Though, I would like to see my guardian’s face if I pursued that contact.” She added mischievously. “I mean, I don’t even _like_ the sound of the violin, I prefer the flute.”

“I meant you might make a friend.” Charlotte responded with a sigh. “And again, I believe Sid…your guardian only wants the best for you.”

Georgiana raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “Well, I see a married gentleman with a white skin an brown hair just over there, with a Italian background, who has a fascination for seaweeds and rugby, maybe you could use a good friend yourself.” Georgiana smirked.

Charlotte felt embarrassed: “I’m sorry, Georgiana, if I made any wrong assumptions. I get your point.”

“Well, I forgive you, because you mean well. And you’re right, only people with a similar skin colour can understand what it is to have it and be judged by it.” The double meaning did not escape Charlotte, but they had little time to deliberate on the issue further. Mr. Crowe came to them, who seemed just a little less drunk than usual. “Ah, if it aren’t the sharp-voiced ladies Miss Lambe and Miss Heywood!” He exclaimed.

“Good day, Mr. Crowe!” Georgiana replied hostile while walking away.

“Good evening Mr. Crowe.” Charlotte said a bit more politely . “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Well, let’s say I find this dinner party on the build of Sanditon slightly more entertaining than the place itself.” He said with his usual disdain, smirking.

“I hear you are more appreciative of London’s balls and gambling houses.” Charlotte said, forcing a smile.

“Yes, although that has been spoilt a bit now my friends are all so serious. They’ve become quite boring… actually I’ve found myself a new past-time.” He whispered mysteriously.

“Really?” Charlotte asked, feigning an interest, raising her eyebrows “And may I ask what new activity has gained your interest?”

“Well, you ‘ll be surprised… but recently I am quite enjoying the company of a young woman.” He disclosed.

“Well, Mr. Crowe, that hardly surprises me.” Charlotte smirked cynically, hardly hiding her contempt “I believe you are quite notorious for enjoying the company of _many_ young women.”

“Ah, I see, what you mean. Yes. And although this young lady ‘s reputation seems to have been damaged, it is not by my doing.” he explained a bit more humbly.

Charlotte raised her eyebrows in surprise.

Mr. Crowe, trying to hide a little sheepish smile, continued: “Please do not tell Parker or Babbers, I’d be quite a source of ridicule for them.”

Charlotte smiled amused: “Well, I’m not in the habit of sharing any gossip with these gentlemen, so you’re secret’s quite safe with me.”

“I wasn’t sure, considering you seem to be quite intimate with Lady Babington and _Mr. Sidney Parker_.” he said meaningfully. “I thought I saw you exchange some private matters just an hour ago or so on the balcony.” Charlotte’s smile dropped as she looked at him a little panicked . “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me too.” he added with a wink. “If only for poor Parker’s sake. Though we won’t be calling him ‘poor’ much longer.”

Charlotte wanted to protest, but Mr. Crowe dismissed it with a gesture of his hand and continued with a smile: “I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine…”he continued his story: “The lady in question has been quite badly abused by her relatives in the past and I have taken it upon me to take care of her.”

“You are in love, Mr. Crowe?” Charlotte asked surprised with an affectionate, amused smile.

“I don’t dare call it so.” he corrected her, slightly rolling his eyes. Then half admitting: “But it seems the affliction that has infected my friends is rather contagious.”

“Well.” Charlotte smiled warmly “I am curious to who the lady is.”

“Well, in fact, you are acquainted with her.” he replied, adding to the mystery. Charlotte raised her eyebrows in curiosity. “And she has quite a high regard for you.” further increasing the suspense. “I would appreciate it very much if you would call on her while you’re in London, for she has very few friends.” And after a pause he revealed the lady’s identity with a whisper, avoiding Charlotte’s eyes: “It’s Miss Brereton.”

“Miss Brereton! Really! How….” Charlotte started to exclaim, almost forgetting to keep her voice down.

“Hush! We travelled together from Sanditon…and enjoying her company during the ride and hearing she didn’t really have a place to go or people to turn to, I took the liberty of securing her some accommodation and some means of living.” he explained. Charlotte again raised her eyebrows. “No, again, we do not have that kind of relationship, how surprising that may seem. We play cards together, we joke, we drink tea. Sometimes I take her out. Nothing more than that.” He reassured Charlotte.

“Why Mr. Crowe, I had never thought you to be such a good Samaritan.” Charlotte cried out in amazement.

“Well, I’m not entirely selfless.” He replied somewhat humbled “I always like to create a good scandal in my family and knowing how Lady Babington is going to dislike it, gives me great satisfaction, as she has turned my best friend into some dull creature.” He said with a vicious smile.

“You are indeed wicked, Mr. Crowe!” Charlotte said amused, not being entirely convinced of the evil nature of his motives. “I’m sorry I accused you of being capable of affection.”

“Apology accepted.” He said with a meaningful smile. “Well it’s been quite pleasing to talk to you, Miss Heywood, but I fear I will be fatally injured by one of Parker’s deadly stares if one of us shows the other another smile.” He said, while retreating backwards. Charlotte startled, glancing sideways and confirming Sidney looked their way, looking quite displeased.


	14. Girls’ hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney escorts Eliza home. She shows her more affectionate side and tries to dig into his heart and mind. They quarrel over Charlotte.

# 14\. Girls’ hearts

Before leaving Lady Worcester’s dinner party, Mrs. Campion walked up to Mr. Stringer and asked him to call on her the following morning. She might have an assignment for him, which was to be a surprise for her intended.

When Sidney walked her home, she asked him:

“Well, You and Miss Heywood seemed to have a lot to talk about at dinner. What in heaven’s name were you discussing?” A slight hint of jealous despair coloured the tone of her voice.

“Well, we talked about slavery, women’s occupations, economy, the science of expanding gasses, steam engines and telescopes.” He said in as neutral a voice as possible, looking away from her, hoping she would not notice he left something out.

“Really, what inappropriate dinner topics!” she exclaimed, snickering. “How uncomfortable you must have felt.” Her tone was somewhat sarcastic. “Well I can say for myself I had quite pleasant time at dinner with your old friend Sir Denham.” She spoke firmly, as if attempting to arouse some jealousy on his part.

“Really?” he asked with some sarcastic curiosity.

“Yes, well that man really knows how to deliver pleasant dinner conversation. We talked only of interior decoration and poetry and our wedding plans.” She continued, demonstrating how he should have conducted himself.

“Well I’m glad he’s entertained you.” Sidney said, forcing a smile. “But, personally I prefer discussing politics and science. So it seems we _both_ had a good time.” He looked away again, his face in the shadow of the trees, so she couldn’t see it.

“Poor man, Sir Denham, I mean, I believe he has been quite abused by his relations.” She continued displaying sympathy for her dinner partner.

“Well, I would not draw any conclusions on _his_ side of the story only.” Sidney merely remarked, not wishing to enlighten her further, considering how painful the story was to his friends.

“I noticed you didn’t come in the drawing room with the other gentlemen.” Mrs. Campion remarked carefully after a pensive silence. 

“Indeed, I was talking to Lord and Lady Babington for a while as they were leaving early.” He explained himself.

“Yes, Lady Babington was looking rather pale this evening.” Mrs. Campion remarked. “I saw Miss Heywood was escorting her out of the room, but the girl stayed away almost an hour.” There was suspicion in her voice.

“Yes, Miss Heywood concerned herself with Lady Babington …” Sidney confirmed and to reassert his betrothed and remove any further suspicion of him having secrets he added: “… I spoke Miss Heywood briefly, we exchanged our concerns about Miss Lambe’s wellbeing, before Miss Heywood herself expressed feeling dizzy and Mr. Stringer and I recommended her to lie down for a while... As Miss Heywood is my ward’s best friend, she’s my best source concerning Miss Lambe’s turmoil. As you might have noticed I’m not particularly a favourite with my ward.”

“Ah yes, I saw Mr. Stringer leave the room and coming back looking somewhat concerned.” Mrs. Campion confirmed his story hesitatingly “I must say Miss Lambe is quite ungrateful for your efforts to fulfil your duty as her guardian. But you have her best friend spy on her for you? Sidney, how wicked of you to abuse that girl for your purposes.” Mrs. Campion scolded him. He felt the accusation of ‘abuse’ and what she meant with ‘purposes’ implied a whole lot more than Charlotte being his informant, but he ignored it and only responded to what had been literally said.

“Not spying, I‘ve made the mistake of delegating my responsibility regarding Miss Lambe to Miss Heywood before. And she was conflicted between her promise to me and her duties as Miss Lambe’s friend. I’m not repeating that. She hasn’t told me any of Miss Lambe’s secrets, but I know enough of what goes on in my ward’s heart and mind now to know what I have to do to protect her.” His thoughts wandered of, as he felt concern for Georgiana’s continued affections for Mr. Molyneux. At the same time the fact that she had suggested to Charlotte that Sidney could have asked for her financial help quite compounded him. It was tempting, but it felt it unjust to ask her for it in his position.

Mrs. Campion remarked his silence: “I see you’re distracted, darling, and you seem worried. Does Miss Lambe have a fancy for an unsuitable suitor again?” she inquired carefully. ”Do share your concerns with me. After all, it will be my duty to relieve your worries once we’re wed. Why not start now?” She pleaded affectionately with a sweet voice.

He sighed, avoiding her eyes again. “Something like that. I cannot tell you the details...yet…I know little of them myself. I only know I have to investigate some things. I cannot bother you with it now, my discretion is required, it’s a delicate situation… I hope you understand.”

“Of course.” She replied with a slight disappointment in her voice at not being his confident. “Well, I hope you’ll take as much care of my heart as you do for other young ladies.”

“I’m sorry, Eliza, if you feel neglected, I have indeed been rather pre-occupied with Miss Lambe. I promise you that after our wedding I’ll devote all my time to you. I’ll take you travelling, we’ll see many beautiful places together and we can be together without any distractions of obligations to others.” He tried to make the romance of it sound convincing.

“I wasn’t only talking of Miss Lambe.” She said hesitatingly. “I can see you’re also much concerned with that unhappy Heywood girl.” The usual venum in her voice when she spoke of Charlotte seemed to be absent this time, but there was insecurity, concern. “I don’t understand why you should pay so much attention to her.”

“Well, I can hardly ignore her when she’s placed next to me at the table.” he defended himself.

“Yes, poor girl, Lady Worcester should have placed her beside an eligible bachelor, that would have been so much more appropriate for her. Well, your brother is one, but I can see why she would not be interested in him...although I can understand that lady Worcester will not have her seated next more important guests, with her tendency to start inappropriate conversation-topics.” Mrs. Campion commented cynically. “But you had little problems ignoring Mrs. Humphries on your other side.”

“Well, Mrs. Humphries seemed quite pre-occupied by the gentleman at _her_ other side. And I guess people chat most with the people they already know … And as I said, Miss Heywood is quite instrumental in my guardianship of Miss Lambe, who misinterprets everything I say or do to take care of her, and without Miss Heywood’s interference and translation of my intentions I fear Georgiana will grow more feral than she already is.” He continued.

“Well, perhaps you should find a different school for Miss Lambe. Obviously this Mrs. Griffiths cannot handle her. Or why ask your brother Arthur’s assistance. I had the impression he gets along with Miss Lambe even better than Miss Heywood, as the few times I saw the two girls together there seemed to be much disagreement between both of them.” She argued.

“Yes, well Arthur is more successful in entertaining Miss Lambe, which has its own usefulness…but Miss Heywood and Miss Lambe… They’re both rather spirited, they have shared feelings. That is why they understand each other, I guess.” he mumbled.

“I agree with you Miss Heywood looks as unhappy as Miss Lambe. Though Mr. Stringer said she has some problems with London air, which is causing her eyes to redden so much. At the opera again, I do not think it was only Miss Catalina’s performance that made her cry at the end. Poor girl, to be dragged across London, she would be much happier somewhere in the countryside, I think.” Mrs. Campion tried to show some empathy with her rival.

“Yes, You’re probably right.” he answered thoughtfully, while remembering how Charlotte had despondently gazed at him during the opera. “But I gather she very much enjoys all the excursions to scientists and galleries and concert visits her hostess organises here in London. She needs a challenge of the mind. She’d wither away without a good supply of books and discoveries.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed you think quite highly of her capabilities and Lady Worcester too. I still need revealed to me what her qualities actually are. ” She said slightly cynical. “So, do enlighten me.” she pleaded with a little sinister laugh.

“For one, she contributed greatly to the success of Sanditon. I know you do not give a fig about the development of my home town, nor did I for a long time. But it is my brother’s great passion, that he’s invested in a lot. And you know how dear Tom and Mary are to me. And Charlotte has pretty much become part of their family, helping them out. Whatever Tom may claim, it has been Charlotte who came up with the idea for the regatta, motivated Lady Worcester to take an interest, organised Tom’s office. And I’m not even talking of how useful she was to me in tracking down Georgiana in London, she helped save the leg of Mr. Stringer’s father. My family and I are greatly indebted to her…So I apologise I’m concerned with her welfare.” he replied irritably and sarcastically, attempting to hide his true degree of admiration for Charlotte.

“I’m sorry if my questions agitate you, dear.” Mrs. Campion said apologetically “I’m sure she’d make an excellent wife for a doctor or someone else with a respectable trade, I hear the prince-regent’s physician wants to remarry, that would be a great opportunity for her. Or an architect’s wife, Mr. Stringer seemed to be quite taken with her as well. If he were to make a name for himself, marrying him would be no shame for her, I guess. They’d make a sweet couple.” She said with a smile.

Sidney's jaw clenched at hearing his rival’s name. His heart skipped a beat. If there was one thing he was sure of, it was that Mr. Stringer would pursue Charlotte as soon as the man believed he could offer her a comfortable home. And Mr. Stringer’s situation was certainly improving. What Sidney was not sure of, was whether Charlotte would refuse Mr. Stringer if the man offered his hand. He was not sure if she was immune to Mr. Stringer’s charms. Surely, she had given preference to him, Sidney, but he could not forget how he had seen her smile at Mr. Stringer that summer. He had seen her flirt, though in her ignorance of her own attractions, she might not have been aware of the impact of her friendliness on the poor man. Sidney had more or less dismissed young Stringer as a serious suitor, doubting his background would be acceptable for her parents. But then Charlotte seemed to care little for material comfort and Mr. Stringer was rising from his station rather quickly. And Mr. Stringer had never ill-treated her, like he, Sidney, had done himself. In terms of conduct and chivalry, Mr. Stringer had the better cards, not gentleman in background, but surely one by nature. Though it pained him to think of Charlotte belonging to someone else, if she was to marry someone else, Mr. Stringer might be her best chance at happiness. He could only wish neither would rush into forging that union until his own marriage was definitely settled. He could let her go when the point of no return had come, but not yet. And then there was Crowe. How dare his friend act so familiar with Charlotte. He recalled Crowe having mentioned Charlotte had a “spunk about her”. Was Crowe now pursuing Charlotte now he, Sidney, was engaged to Eliza? And the way Charlotte had smiled back. Surely she could not have any interest in that good for nothing?

“You are being very silent, dear.” Mrs. Campion remarked, waking him out of his own thoughts.

He smiled: “I’m sorry, I just think we should let the choice for Miss Heywood’s future husband to the woman herself. Don’t you think?” he argued, still quite distracted.

“Of course. It is indeed none of my business, and I hope you’re not making it yours either…. “ she replied hesitatingly “Please know I only care for your welfare and I am concerned you are taking on the entire world. If you have concerns, I wish to participate, that you share them. Rather, I would chase them out your mind. Now taking care of Miss Lambe is your legal duty and I understand you love your siblings. But when we get married you have a duty to me too and if we allow ourselves to be swallowed up by everyone’s else’s worries… well I’m just trying to say we need a life of our own.” her voice was soft and sweet this time. They had reached her house on Park Lane, he looked her in the eye for a moment, smiled at her sweetly, again promising he would make more of an effort once they would be wed.

"Will you come inside for a while?"she asked him hesitantly.

He shook his head. "I do not think that is a good idea this time of night, dear." he said softly, avoiding to look in her eyes. "And anyway, I need to go back to escort Georgiana home as well."

"Who cares, we're engaged, and Tom and Mary can take Georgiana back to Bedford Place. "

"People would notice I'm gone longer than necessary and assume things..."

"You cared little for such delicacies when we were younger." she teased

"Well, Let's just say I've matured in these ten years past." he repleid dryly.

"Indeed, we're both adults. We can afford a little indiscretion. We could practice a bit for our married life...I'm not a maiden anymore, Sidney..."she looked a bit mischievous.

"I'm aware of that."he said a little agitated. "But I would like to do things properly, if you don't mind. I will not stain your good name."

"Very well. You are a true gentleman, Sidney. I know I can always count on you doing the right thing." she said meaningfully. 

She asked him to come for luncheon with Georgiana the next day, as she might introduce the girl to a suitable candidate. He nodded. She stood before him a moment, looking up to him, standing close, as if she wished to invite a kiss. But he stepped back, smiled and bowed and he waited till she went inside before he took his leave.


	15. Mrs. Campion’s scheme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mrs. Campion has a plan for Mr. Stringer and arranges a quite unsuccesfull blind date.

# 15\. Mrs. Campion’s scheme

The following morning, Mr. Stringer called on Mrs. Campion, as requested. He was quite impressed by the big house and its Palladian architecture, all richly decorated according to the latest fashion. He complimented her on her choice of style.

“Actually, I’m refurbishing everything right now, so that Mr. Parker and I will have a fresh start and everything will be to his taste.” she said while pouring the tea.

“Mr. Parker is a lucky man, that you should take such consideration of his wishes.” Mr. Stringer politely replied, feeling a little uneasy as he sat down.

“Yes, well I can’t express my affection for him enough.” she said tenderly.

“Well, I hope for you, ma’am, he loves you back just as much.” Mr. Stringer replied, forcing a smile, hoping he did not sound too cynical and his accent not too provincial.

“Well..” Mrs. Campion said melodious in a soft tone. “He wished to marry me ten years ago when I had little fortune to my name. But I was forced to marry an older and richer man. And its seems he has waited all this time…”

“That sounds like true love.” Mr. Stringer said, not very convincingly, picturing the scene he had witnessed the evening before.

“Yes, so you understand I cannot do enough to repay him for his loyalty to me….”she said hesitatingly, then recomposing herself: “I’ll come straight to the point, Mr. Stringer, I was quite impressed with your designs yesterday and I hope you are not too busy with the plans for Sanditon. I would like you to ask you to make a design for a garden pavilion, a little retreat for Mr. Parker as a wedding gift.”

“Well…”Mr. Stringer stammered a little humbled “I don’t know, I am not a real architect you know…”

“That’s not an objection for me, we can hire extra assistance for that. It would be a nice showpiece for your further career and I am willing to pay you handsomely.” She tried to convince him.

“Well, Sanditon does keep me very busy.” He argued, feeling a little uneasy at this great gesture.

“Is there no one else who can supervise the work there? I mean there must be a replacement there right now, while you’re in London?” she asked

“My friend, Fred Robinson, supervises the build of Sanditon on my behalf, but I cannot be away too long” he argued.

“Well, you might have to travel between Sanditon and London. I am willing to pay you upfront…. You must be wishing to build a nice house of your own…to accommodate a certain young lady you wish to marry?” She said with a meaningful smile.

Mr. Stringer blushed. “How…did you know?”

“Well, we women have an eye for that. And if I’m right about the girl you fancy, I think you want to be able to offer her a good home.” she kept smiling, handing him his cup of tea.

“Well….”He said with another shy blush “The lady I have in mind cares little for material comfort, I dare say. But I would like to give her what she’s used to as a home, at least.”

“Of course the lady herself will accept you for your character and affection.” Mrs. Campion replied trying to conceal the venom in her voice. “But impressing her relatives with the prospect of some more material advantages may smoothen the process somewhat.”

“You are very considerate, ma’am.” Mr. Stringer replied a little humbled.

“Well, I do not wish to be selfish now that I am marrying my long lost love.” Mrs. Campion replied. “I do wish to share my good fortune and luck and help others find happiness in marriage as well.” showing her usual artificial smile. “And I believe the lady is a good friend of my intended’s family, she has been very supportive in their plans for Sanditon and I grant her some felicity in marriage.”

Mr. Stringer thanked her for her kindness, but could not help sensing a tone of sadness and insincerity in her voice. He wondered if she was aware of the attraction between Sidney Parker and Charlotte. Perhaps she just wanted Charlotte out of the way, or maybe she truly wished to do something to restore Charlotte’s chance at happiness. But whatever Mrs. Campions motives, Mr. Stringer was happy at the chance of securing Charlotte for himself and keep her away from Sidney Parker, who was doing her no good. Even if the man loved both women, he was only entitled to make one of them his. And he had made his choice. And although Charlotte had said his small old house reminded her of home, he doubted whether it would be enough for her. He wanted something better for her and provide her a minimal level of comfort. She probably wouldn’t shy away from household tasks, but he didn’t see her scrubbing floors, he wanted to be able to afford one servant at least to unburden her. And an influential patroness like Mrs. Campion promoting his work in London was certainly very welcome in advancing his prospects.

Mr. Stringer discussed Mrs. Campion’s wishes for the pavilion, she showed him the location and he took measurements. She offered him a sum five times the costs, quite dazzling him with the prospect of being able to buy one the terraced houses he was building in Sanditon for himself.

As he left, a new gentleman arrived. It was Sir Edward Denham, who expressed a curiosity at the work Mrs. Campion was having done, as she had elaborately described him the evening before. They were quite amusing themselves when the two other luncheon guests arrived, namely Sidney Parker and his ward Miss Lambe.

Sidney quite raised his eyebrows at finding his betrothed laughing at her guest’s jokes and on recognizing who the gentleman was, he forced a smile. “How do you do, Sir Edward?” he asked with cold civility.

“Well, I’m quite all right. I have a military career now, adding a red coat to my many attractions, what more would I want besides that, a title, my handsome looks-if I may say so myself- and my love of poetry.” Sir Edward smirked sarcastically.

Miss Lambe was not so civil and sneered: “What is the meaning of this? Is this another attempt to set me up with this creature?” looking angrily at her guardian and Mrs. Campion.

“I can assure you, Georgiana, this was not my idea.” Sidney said agitated, looking at Mrs. Campion with raised eyebrows “But…” turning to Georgiana again “I would appreciate it if you showed a little more decorum in Mrs. Campion’s house…or anywhere else for that matter!”

“I’m sorry if you are displeased with the results of Mrs. Griffiths teachings, perhaps you should find a different school for me.” Georgiana said, smirking. “I hear there’s quite a good one in Portsmouth, if London won’t do.”

“Yes, I might just do that, but before I send you to a town full of fortune-hunting marines, I’ll look around first.” He replied dryly.

“Well, I’d prefer a marine officer as a fortune-hunter over a red coat one.” Georgina said, looking at sir Edward with some disdain.

“Do not worry, Miss Lambe, that I will pursue you.” the latter replied “I was not interested in you when my aunt thought it was a good idea to forge our match and I am not now either. Besides a having reasonable fortune, as I can no longer afford to marry for love alone, I desire my future wife to be more lady-like and attractive. I am not so desperate to attach myself to a woman without any propriety, beauty or love in her, merely because she owns a hundred thousand pounds.”

“Well, I am glad our feelings are reciprocal.” Georgiana replied, grimacing.

Mrs. Campion, looking quite puzzled at this rather unsophisticated scene, interceded. “Why, I thought it would be a nice surprise for you, Sidney, to invite you old friend Sir Edward.”

Sidney recomposed himself: “That was very considerate of you dear.” He smiled politely. “I’m afraid my last encounter with Sir Edward was not a very friendly one, as he quite disturbed a joyous event, but I trust he’s sober and more restrained now.” he said looking meaningful at Sir Edward.

“Indeed, I have recovered from my short desperation.” Sir Edward replied.

“Well..” Mrs. Campion replied “Sir Edward has shown quite pleasing behaviour to _me_ , so I trust we can have luncheon in peace?”

“Of course, dear.” Sidney smiled. “And since you are the most amiable and agreeable of this small company, I suggest you give us the good example in pleasant conversation.” he said with a slight smirk.

“Oh Sidney, silly man, you embarrass me.” She said playfully, pretending to look humbled, but clearly repressing her dissatisfaction with his conduct.

Indeed she did do most of the talking during the awkward lunch, inviting just a compliment or two from the gentlemen on the meal.


	16. Arthur’s Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Georgiana called again on Charlotte, together with Sidney and Arthur. Sidney explains himself to Charlotte, while Arthur decides to make a bold move. Both girls have to consider a proposal.

# 16\. Arthur’s Scheme

The following day, on Sunday, Charlotte was called on again by Georgiana, in the company of Sidney and Arthur Parker and they invited the Heywood sisters for a walk in the park. Lady Worcester was away on a visit to her ‘special friend’ and the girls were expecting a visit from their brother William. But before Charlotte could decline the invitation, Allison offered to stay home and wait for William and join the party in the park later. So Charlotte had no excuse to refuse, as Allison had already stated that Charlotte and she had the intention to go to the park anyway.

The two girls first walked together in front of the men. “You must be glad Mrs. Campion hasn’t come along.” Georgiana smiled to Charlotte. Charlotte admitted she was a little relieved, as Mrs. Campion tended to scrutinize her. “I’m afraid Sidney and I quite spoilt her luncheon yesterday.” Georgiana snickered. “She’s quite cross with both of us.” nodding her head backwards to gesture that ‘both’ concerned herself and her guardian. Charlotte tried to hide a smile, then warned with some alarm: “He must not get into trouble with her, she can put him in debtor’s prison if she rejects him.”

“Well, don’t worry too much about that.” Georgiana reassured her with a mysterious smile.

“But on hindsight, it was quite an amusing scene…”She said with a giggle. “You know who she invited, supposedly as a possible suitor for me?” Charlotte raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders. “Sir Edward! Of all people!” Georgiana exclaimed “And she was quite surprised at the mutuality of our feelings! That is that we loath one another! And apparently she was not aware of Sidney’s falling out with him, so when Sidney was quite uncivil to Sir Edward, she was not really amused. She seemed to have enjoyed that creep’s company quite well at Lady Worcester’s dinner party. I wager he’s after her money himself. So Sidney quite sarcastically told her she was the only agreeable and well-mannered person in the room and should do all the talking to set us an example. And it is so hilarious how awkward the whole lunch was afterwards.” Georgiana couldn’t stop laughing, quite attracting Arthur’s attention, who demanded to be taken in confidence. As he took Georgiana’s arm and increased his speed of walking, Charlotte all of a sudden found herself walking next to Sidney again.

Remembering their last conversation, she sighed, and stared at her feet.

“I hope you don’t mind my taking the opportunity of speaking you alone for a minute again.” Sidney said softly, glancing her way. She didn’t answer and directed her gaze at the other two people walking in front of them. “We didn’t part well, I’m afraid, at the dinner party. “ he started nevertheless, sounding rather tormented. She said nothing. “I believe I have been misunderstood.” he continued. She looked up, raising her eyebrows with a stern face. “When I offered to support you, I merely meant that you should be free to make your own choices. I’m sure Tom and Mary would be happy to take you into their home. They quite miss your company and support. You've been a great help to them with th children, with Sanditon... Or we could provide you with the means to start some business of your own… I meant nothing dishonourable.” He said apologetically.

She smiled faintly at him. “But people would talk and think something dishonourable was going on if I were kept by you or if you'd provide me with any resources...” she said. “And I would appreciate a reference from your brother and Mary if I were to seek a position as a governess...but I'd be quite unable to forget about you if I stayed in their house.” she added softly.

He looked in her eyes, where tears were welling up. She stopped walking and turned away from him. He stood behind her, gently held her upper arms and whispered: “I cannot forget you either, Charlotte.” he whispered. “I’ve tried, but whatever I do, you’re in my head, my heart…”

“Please stop.” she said, loosening herself from his grip. She turned around: “You must stop this. You can’t keep seeking my company.” looking him in the eyes with torment.

Ahead of them, Arthur Parker, who had looked over his shoulder a few times, decided to do something bold. After the fits of laughter he and Georgiana had had about Mrs. Campion trying to set her up with Sir Edward, he started:

“Now serious, Miss Lambe. I wish you a partner who honestly likes you and makes you laugh. Now, I feel we have something in common. We are both outliers, people make fun of us. I think we understand each other well. ” She looked at him with big astonished eyes. “Now I don’t expect an answer immediately” he said “I know you’re still grieving over someone else, but I want you to know that if there is any woman I can see myself marry, it would be you.”

“Arthur, this is not funny.” she tried to stop him.

“I’m serious, Miss Lambe.”he replied “But we’ll remain friends just the same if you should refuse. But if I can make you happy, it would be my honour.” he said looking in her eyes with a soft, shy tenderness.

She blushed. “Arthur, I really was not expecting this.” She said, somewhat in shock. There was no time to talk further, as Allison approached them with not only her brother, but also Mr. Stringer, who had happened to call on the Heywood sisters at the same time as William, giving Georgiana the opportunity to shy away from Arthur and grab Charlotte’s arm to take her in confidence. Arthur and William, who had met at the masked ball earlier seemed to have forged a new friendship and walked ahead, followed by Mr. Stringer and Allison. Behind them Charlotte and Georgiana walked, whispering, briefly looking behind them at Sidney. “Don’t mind me.” he apologised “I won’t interfere in your little intimate conversation.” And he made sure he kept a safe distance behind them, walking quietly by himself.

Georgiana, quit panicking, whispered to Charlotte: “Oh Charlotte, I don’t know what to do. Arthur Parker has proposed to me!”

“Has he?” Charlotte replied with astonishment “But how do you feel about him?” she asked carefully.

“He’s a friend! That’s all! “Georgiana replied quite frantic. “Yes, he makes me laugh, but I do not love him and I don’t think he loves me…” She looked quite befuddled. Then she frowned and exclaimed “You must be quite excited about this!” somewhat reproachingly to her friend.

“What does this have to do with me?” Charlotte exclaimed confused at her friend’s sudden accusation.

“Well of course if Sidney forces me to accept Arthur, the Parker family gets hold of my money. Sidney would not require Mrs. Campion’s and if he indeed loves you enough to say goodbye to half a million pounds, he could marry _you_.” Georgiana argued.

They looked over their shoulders. It seemed Sidney had not heard what was said, but seeing the two women glancing back at him, he raised his eyebrows.

“Georgiana, that’s hardly fair.” Charlotte answered somewhat offended. “Sidney and I would never sacrifice your happiness…. And even if you were to accept Arthur, it doesn’t free Sidney from Mrs. Campion. She might still have him persecuted if he breaks the engagement and I don’t see her ending the engagement herself. Whatever you decide, do it for you own happiness only.”

“Oh, you can be sure of that!” Georgiana replied firmly, walking away hurriedly.

Sidney, seeing his ward run off again, wanted to go after her, but Charlotte called out to him: “Just leave her a moment.”

“Something I need to know?” he asked concerned.

“Well…” Charlotte started: “Forgive me my indiscretion, but I need to know: was it _your_ idea for Arthur to ask Georgiana to marry him?”

“What do you say? My brother has asked for Georgiana’s hand in marriage?” he asked astonished.

“Yes, and she thinks you’re behind it.” Charlotte added.

“Me!?” He exclaimed in surprise

“Yes, to secure her fortune for your family.” Charlotte elucidated the accusation.

“I can assure you, Charlotte, it was _not_ my idea. And before you start getting your hopes up: I’m not going to allow it, either.”

“Not allow it?” Charlotte cried out.

“No, I’m sorry Charlotte, but I’m not going to let my brother sacrifice his happiness, or that of Georgiana.”

“But what if they could be happy together?” Charlotte asked him.

“Please Charlotte, you said yourself Georgiana still has feelings for Mr. Molyneux. And Arthur cannot even look after himself, let alone a wife. He’s still pretty much dependent on my sister. And so strong a woman like Georgiana will cut him to pieces. And I believe Arthur’s only motive is to secure Georgiana’s fortune. He’s knows why I’m marrying Eliza and now he tries to sacrifice himself instead.” He spoke firmly.

“Maybe you underestimate your brother?” Charlotte remarked “Or their affection for each other. Or maybe you are just looking for an excuse to proceed with your own wedding to acquire half a million pounds, I can understand that is quite tempting.” she said with some angry bitterness.

“No, Charlotte, of course not. You’re worth far more than that! But even if Arthur weds Georgiana, I’m not at liberty, not unless Eliza sets me free. And honestly, Charlotte, do you really want Georgiana and Arthur to sacrifice their own happiness for our sake?”

“No, you’re right ” she admitted defeatedly “I cannot accept it if it would be a sacrifice on their part.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “But I have asked you before: have you even considered asking Georgiana’s help before you turned to Mrs. Campion? She says you never asked her for a loan or help of any kind.”

Sidney sighed: “Again, I would abuse my guardianship if I took her money. And a gentleman does not ask a lady for a loan.”

“How blessed is this world where lending money from a woman is considered a greater evil than marrying one and making her fortune yours even though you don’t love her.” Charlotte retorted sarcastically as she turned away from a perplexed Sidney who wasn’t able to utter a word out of frustration. [1]

The others had gotten ahead of them. Mr. Stringer looked over his shoulder and called out to the two gentlemen in front. They turned around to walk back and while Arthur turned his attentions to Sidney, Mr. Stringer and William caught up with Charlotte. As Charlotte dried her eyes, William gave his sister a hug saying: “Is the smoky London air disagreeable to your eyes again?” looking at her with brotherly affection. She looked for a moment at Sidney standing a few feet away, whose eyes showed similar redness and despair and who was panting like it had been he who had been running away. She saw Mr. Stringer give Sidney an angry look. Sidney turned away to fetch Georgiana. William took both his sisters by the arm. Mr. Stringer and Arthur walked behind them as they headed back for the house.

Her siblings and Mr. Stringer were in the parlour while she said goodbye to the Parker Brothers and Georgiana. Georgiana let Charlotte know she would go back to Sanditon the next day: “I need to clear my head.” she said and then she whispered: “I need to get away from the Parker brothers, at least Sidney and Arthur and so should you. With me gone Sidney doesn’t have an excuse to go and see you and hurt you.”

Charlotte looked at her with pain in her eyes. The idea that she wouldn’t see Sidney again both relieved and mortified her. He stood some six feet away from her. She looked at him once more and with an earnest face merely said to him: “Goodbye Mr. Parker.” He looked her in the eye for some time before he said in a sad voice: “Goodbye, Miss Heywood.” Arthur was his usual outlandish self, expressing a great wish to see her and her family again. As she entered the parlour, Allison offered to play something on the pianoforte. Charlotte sat down and merely listened to her sister play a quiet melancholic melody. She saw Mr. Stringer staring at herself and taking a seat somewhat closer.

“Are you all right Miss Heywood?” he asked softly. She smiled at him and said with an affectionate voice: “I will be, thank you, Mr. Stringer. You are always so kind.”

“I wish others would show you the same kindness, Charlotte…if I had the power to keep you from hurt, I would.” he said meaningfully, looking her in the eye. She looked at him with gratefulness.

“You are a good friend Mr. Stringer.”

“Please call me James.” He said

She smiled. “All right, James.”

He scraped his throat: “Your brother and sister have asked me to join your family in Willingden for Christmas. They heard I have no relatives, with father gone, and they did not wish me to spend the Christmas alone, and your family sounds quite nice, I hope I will be welcome then.” he asked carefully.

Charlotte looked at him with some surprise: “Why would you not be?”

“When I visit you with Christmas I have a question for you. And I want you to think about it carefully. I have been given an new assignment, one that pays well and gives me the opportunity to build a fine house, suitable for a gentle woman.” He said with a little tremor in his voice.

She looked at him quite puzzled.

“Just think about it, Charlotte.” he said in earnest. “... if it would make you happy… I don’t need an answer now …just give it a thought. I know you are grieving now, but you must move on eventually, you cannot let him keep hurting you…”

She just stared a moment at him in shock. She didn’t even notice Allison’s fingers stumbling on the piano keys.

“Goodbye Charlotte, I’ll see you with Christmas.” he said with a soft smile. He walked up to the piano, smiled at a disappointed Allison, and said his goodbye’s to her.

After he left, Charlotte was still in such a shock, she was not aware of her own’s sister’s despair at Mr. Stringer’s departure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some research about Sidney's power as Georgaiana's guardian. A the sole guardian, he had full access to her entire fortune till she was 21. He could have just taken it, but of course...he's a gentleman. And I read that in those days it was taboo to borrow money from a woman. So it was socially acceptable at teh time to marry a woman for her money, but not to borrow it from her....


	17. A proper parting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney part for a last time....

# 17\. A proper parting

The following day Charlotte wrote a note to Sidney.

_Dear Sidney,_

_With this letter I part from you, again. Be assured you will always be close to my heart, but I cannot have you close to me in person. Not as long as you cannot make me any proper promise. We both know that you are in many ways bound to marry someone else. Do not grieve me by behaving dishonourably. Your integrity and your loyalty to those who have a longer claim on you are the only consolation for my pain. I cannot allow you to corrupt yourself, to break your word, to risk your family’s security._

_Neither of us could be happy if it were at the expense of others, if Tom, Mary, Jenny, Alicia, Henry and little James would be condemned to a life in prison or poverty. Even if you had proposed to me last summer, I would feel obliged to release you from that engagement, and let you marry someone more wealthy, for their sakes. We must not torture ourselves by reminding ourselves of what cannot be. I cannot have you seek my company, like you have done these past weeks. Do not give me false hopes. Respect my honour. Protect my heart. Every time I see you and part from you it is again shattered to pieces. If it breaks once more, I’m not sure it will mend._

_If we cannot be together, I need to move on with my life, as do you. It would be easier for me if I knew you would try to be happy, to accept your fate as it is and make the most of it. I will cherish my good memories of you, be proud of you for the choice you made to save others. If I do not see you again in this life, I hope to see you in the afterlife. I trust you will be a good man and deserve a good place there, as I will strive for myself. Be your best and truest self, if not with me, than for me._

_Farewell, with love,_

_Charlotte_

Her name was hard to read, as her tears fell on it, while she finished her letter. After she had sent off a footman to deliver the note, she cried until there were no more tears left. Allison and Lady Worcester did not ask why her eyes were so dewy and red all the time, why she kept to her room when Sidney Parker called on them a couple of times later that week, leaving the two other ladies with a despondent visitor who spoke little and sighed through the awkward silences all the time.

When she and Lady Worcester walked in the park a week later, Charlotte saw Sidney approaching them. She wanted to turn around the corner to avoid him, but Lady Worcester did not oblige her. Taking his hat off for the ladies he merely looked at Charlotte for a while. Lady Worcester asked him to come join them to admire the sunken garden. She walked in its direction, and lingered behind, standing still at the opposite side of the pond, turning her back around to pretend admiring some of the plants in the borders, while Sidney and Charlotte stood together at the other side of the pond.

“Have you not received my letter? I thought I asked you not to come and see me.” Charlotte said reproachingly in a soft tone.

“I know.” he said “and I will leave you alone…. I just request a proper parting…. “she looked up at him. She saw his eyes were moist. “I will be leaving London.” he said “I have to do some travel for business, I’ll be gone till Christmas at least…maybe you can keep this book for me in the meanwhile….Keep it, if this is the last time I see you, please know that I wish you all the best…, Admiral Heywood.” He held her by her shoulders, looked around whether anyone could see them and brought his lips close to hers.

She started sobbing. “Goodbye Sidney…please try to be happy.” Her voice squeaked, as she pushed his face away gently before their lips could touch, holding it in one hand as the book held was in her other.

They stared at each other one last time before Charlotte turned around and walked up to Lady Worcester who now pretended to admire the way the hedge was cut, averting her gaze away from the two heartbroken lovers. Charlotte took her friend’s arm, looked back one last time and then walked away. She looked at the book cover, ‘Heraclitus’ it said. She smiled while her eyes filled with more tears. She opened it and saw that on the inside of the cover, an ex-libris stamp was placed, with the picture of a young boy reading a book in the corner of a library. And when she looked closer, she saw the boy resembled a young Sidney, and below the picture his name was spelled: Sidney Theodore Parker. She now knew his full name.

Sidney watched them walk away and leave the sunken garden as it started to rain. Softly first, then more pouring out of the sky, disguising the drops from his own eyes. What he had not noticed that he was not the only one watching the two ladies. Coming around the corner was Sir Edward Denham, who had watched them from behind the shrubbery and was on his way to calling on Mrs. Campion, something he had been doing frequently the last few days. Sidney had already said his goodbye’s to his betrothed after church service and felt no need to walk in the same direction. The two men merely gave each other a nod of recognition, both in a hurry to get somewhere dry.


	18. The deal between Georgiana and Sidney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney travels to Sanditon. Lady D. is irritated with the delay in his wedding (her financial insurance). Sidney confronts Georgiana with her continuing relationship with Otis. They quarrel about Otis and Charlotte and finally see eye-to-eye. They come to an agreement before Sidney has to leave for Lisbon and Madeira.

#  _18._ _The deal between Georgiana and Sidney_

Charlotte indeed did not have to worry about seeing Sidney again the following weeks. Arriving home, Sidney found a letter from Mrs. Griffiths, Mrs. Lambe’s governess, that basically told him two things. One was that his ward had again been ignoring his prohibition to have contact with Mr. Molyneux, something he already suspected after what Charlotte had hinted. Secondly, that Mrs. Griffith’s wished for him to seek a new school for his ward. Not only because Georgiana was quite difficult to handle, but especially because Mrs. Griffiths expected soon to be wed to reverend Hankins and would dissolve her school entirely before the happy event.

There was also a second letter from his friend Captain Rogers from Portsmouth with a promise to do some inquiries on the same Mr. Molyneux, as requested. Sidney left for Sanditon the next morning. Something he had already planned, to witness the proceeding of the rebuild before he left for Lisbon. Early morning, before he left, he found another envelope. It was lavender-scented. He expected it to be note from Eliza, but when he opened it, a page from a small sketchbook fell out. It contained a pencil drawing of a reading Charlotte. There was no note, no message. He could only guess who sent it. 

In Sanditon he first went to see his brother’s family. On seeing Mary, who had been like his mother ever since she married Tom, and having his nephew and nieces practically climbing over him in joy of seeing him, he remembered why he had chosen to sacrifice his own happiness and that of Charlotte’s. Tom, ever rambling about the progress and the great idea of building an observatory and viewpoint remarked how great it had been to see Miss Heywood again. Sidney realised Mary had seen him bite his lips to hide his pain as she gave him a look of pitiful understanding.

Lady D. came by that moment, quite asking why he wasn’t hurrying up with his marriage, and secure Lady Campion’s fortune quickly, emphasizing how disagreeable it was to her that the return of her own money was still not guaranteed. Sidney grimaced and answered with utmost civility:

“Well thank you for your sympathy, Lady D. But I can hardly drag the lady down the aisle faster then she pleases, can I? ...And Mrs. Campion happens to wish for an elaborate Spring wedding.”

“An elaborate wedding?!” Lady D. exclaimed disdainfully “What for? She is a widow! She could have had an elaborate wedding the first time she got married. How disrespectful of her late husband’s memory. I surely spent little money when I remarried with sir Denham after Mr. Hollis had passed away…” then she dismissed him with a gesture of her hand and more calmly argued: “Well, it is not your fault then. But she sounds like an expensive woman. It’s good thing she’s rich then. All that ridiculous London fashionability, changing bodices, waists and sleeves every year, it’s all horridly expensive. I’ve never felt for need for such wastefulness, you know. I had a large set of dresses when I first married and I still dwell on them today. ”

Sidney merely nodded and bowed, and left quickly again to see his ward. If he had been in a better mood, he might have laughed at Lady D.’s forty-year-old dresses as soon as he was out of sight, but he was too pre-occupied with his own turmoil.

Georgiana was cross with him again as he confronted her with the letters Mrs. Griffiths had shown him.

“Have I no privacy?” She asked agitated, angry and hurt.

“Georgiana, I know you’re hurting, but I really believe it in your best interest that you stay away from him.” He said softly.

“But I love him.” Georgiana cried desparately.

“He’s a convincing seducer, I grant you, his letters are pure poetry. If they had been written to me I would be tempted to fall in love with him myself.” he remarked with a little sarcasm. “But have you forgotten what he put you through, that he put you on the gambling table?” Sidney added in astonishment.

“I forgive him, he never meant to put me at stake” Georgiana said hesitatingly. “He’s awfully sorry.”

“But is that _enough_?” Sidney asked her sincerely, forcing her to look him in the eyes. 

“I cannot give him up.” Georgiana said in despair. “And he’s not a bad man. He made a mistake. And he’s changed. He won’t do that to me again.”

Sidney sighed. “Georgiana, love can make blind. I cannot allow him to hurt you again and ruin you. He’s a gambler, and one very out of control. Even if he does love you as he says he does, he’ll ruin you and hurt you because he cannot help himself.”

“Why, do you think _you_ are much better, Mr. Sidney Parker. I recall you yourself squandered your own fortune and more many years ago. You sacrificed Charlotte’s love to secure your family’s fortune. And you _keep_ hurting her... I keep telling her not to trust you, that you never make promises, that money is always more important to you, that she’s not the first to be hurt by you… but _she too_ is blind, insisting that you are ‘much improved’, that you are not to blame. _Well_ Mr. Parker, _she_ may forgive you for breaking her heart, but _I_ won’t.”

He stared at her, wounded. “Indeed, I cannot even forgive myself.” he said with a soft, trembling voice.

“And yet, you keep looking for her company, giving her false hopes. How are you much better than Otis?!” Georgiana threw at him.

“Maybe you’re right and I’m not.” He said defeated, sinking down in a chair.

Georgiana looked at him in amazement. “I’m sorry, I think something is wrong with my _hearing_.” she said. “Are you actually listening to me for once? And what do you mean?” she asked bemused “Do you mean that _you_ are at least as unsuitable for _Charlotte_ as _Otis_ is for _me_? _Or_ are you giving him a chance?”

“I’m not making any promises, Georgiana, other than that I will review Mr. Molyneux’s suitability as a suitor. I will make inquiries whether he has changed his habits.” He said calmly. She looked at him with great surprise. “Do not get your hopes up too soon.” Sidney said “If I find out he still has his bad habits, I cannot go along. _Not_ if I risk your chance at happiness.” He said solemnly. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Sidney. And I’m not naïve, not anymore. If he hasn’t improved his ways and disappoints me, he knows I’ll not accept him myself.” She answered resignedly.

Sidney nodded. “Well, I’m off, I have some business overseas. When I’m back I hope to get a favourable report from some friends in Portsmouth about Mr. Molyneux.”

She looked at him in disbelief.

“Yes, I’ve already started making inquiries. I need some more objective reports on him, rather than just your subjective one. I’ll get back with you then.” He admitted reluctantly with a smile.

“I need to move you to another school anyway, apparently Mrs. Griffiths is getting married. And I will check out that school in Portsmouth you mentioned. Since you yourself requested to be placed there, I trust you will be motivated to respect their curriculum and their rules?”

“Thank you, Sidney.” Georgiana said in al sincerity, while nodding. He looked at her. His eyes tender, his smile soft

“Thank Charlotte.” He whispered.

“ What has she said?” Georgiana asked with suspicion.

“Not much, other than that you have a very forgiving nature and that I should consider the improvement in others as much as in myself…. I am sorry I have not been a more sympathetic guardian to you. I’ve always wished you well, I’ve just not been able to express that as much.” He spoke remorsefully. “I was a bitter an cold man for a long time…”

“I’m sorry Sidney, but you are still a bitter man…” Georgiana interrupted him.

“Yes.” He sighed “But for a brief while I felt utmost happiness, feeling the love of an angel while she pierced my soul like the fork of the devil.” Georgiana grinned at the thought.

“Her warmth, it made my armour melt like butter…” he smiled, gazing out the window through his glazed eyes “…till that disaster… that idiotic brother of mine! Bringing his family to ruins, Mary, Allison, Jenny, Henry, little James…I couldn’t let them down…” he tried to supress his tears, breathing heavily.

“Wow, I’m almost convinced you really love her.” Georgiana scoffed.

He looked at her wounded: “Believe what you want, but she’s good for me, she improves me.” He stated firmly.

“I’m sure she’s good for you, but are you for her as well?” Georgiana questioned him sincerely.

“To be honest, I have no idea why she would prefer me over other men.” he sighed “God knows I have not always been chivalrous to her.”

“She seems to think you are some good Samaritan, a hero who helps out others and that you have some tenderness hidden inside you.” Georgiana highlighted, snickering.

He chuckled, fell quiet for a moment, then replying with a smirk: “Well, you seem to think Otis has some of those qualities.”

“Touché!“ she said “Well, I’ll make you a deal. Let’s say that if you give me my chance at happiness with Otis, I’ll give you yours with Charlotte and solve your financial obstacles.”

He stared at her: “No Georgiana, I can’t ask that of you. And no, it will not influence my decision on Mr. Molyneux…. I won’t consent to you marrying anybody if I believe you will be unhappy, whether it is Mr. Molyneux or my _own brother_ for that matter.”

She sighed: “Then it was not your idea that Arthur propose to me?” she asked a little relieved.

“No, and although it would help me and Charlotte, I do not think it a good idea. You clearly love another man, I’m not sure about Arthur’s motives and I do not think your characters match…. In any case I’m only free to marry Charlotte if Mrs. Campion releases me of my engagement, chances of that happening are slim …”

“Well, Mr. Sidney Parker, do not despair yet. She’ll come to realise she doesn’t want to marry a man who loves someone else. I thought she was quite impressed with sir Edward Denham herself… In any case, if it means I can be happy with Otis and you can make Charlotte happy, I’m happy to give up my fortune, I quite insist.” Georgiana argued.

He shook his head.

“Well. Let me put it this way. You paid off Otis ’debts, I’m paying off yours and your brother’s. If Otis won’t have me with ‘just’ twenty thousand, well, then I know what _he_ is worth.” she spelled out for him.

He looked at her, saw she was in earnest. “ I’ll grant Otis his honour as a gentleman and repay is original debt, but the rest I’ll accept only as an investment from which you get returns! What my family owes is twenty times more than Otis’ gambling debt. Though with the investments that have been promised by Lord Babington, Lady Worcester and her friends the debt has diminished somewhat, still it would take us a long time to repay you…our children would still be repaying yours.” He replied pensively, looking at her gratefully, but unsure of the prudency of the offer.

Georgiana sighed: “Repay if you must, but it will not be Damocles’ sword for you. I’m not Lady Denham, threatening to repeal my investments at a whim, and I will put that in writing, should Otis or any of our heirs pressure you.” And then she giggled: “To be honest, to have you free from that witch you engaged yourself with, seeing her disappointment and seeing my best friend happy again, will be payment enough!”

“Georgiana!” he exclaimed, warning her with his voice, rather shocked, but his eyes betrayed he was sympathetic to her thoughts. 

“I’m sorry, Sidney, to call Mrs. Campion that way. But I gather she’s the reason you’re so bitter and have been making my life and Charlotte’s miserable. So excuse my tendency for vengeance, I would think you’d be of the same mind. Perhaps _you_ are the one who is too forgiving.”

He smiled faintly. “Maybe I just can’t wish anyone unhappiness.” He mumbled.

“Well, in that vein, you must persuade the witch to cancel your engagement. “Georgiana argued. “Because you clearly don’t love her and your _will_ make her miserable.” 

Sidney sighed: “You’re right, but _how_ do I convince her.” He stared out the window again for a while, but he recollected himself. “Now first things first, I have to go to Portsmouth see about my business, your new school and Mr. Molyneux…and..” He paused. “Stay in touch with Charlotte for me, but do not let her know about this conversation. …I promised her to stay out of her life unless I was able to commit myself to her.” he said softly. “I do not want to give her false hope.”

Georgiana nodded.

Sidney took his leave, set off for Portsmouth where he would be boarding a ship to Lisbon and then Madeira. Before he boarded, he made arrangements at the school Georgiana had mentioned and went to a shop selling navigation equipment to place an order. On board, he tried to forget about his upcoming wedding, about Charlotte, and to gather his thoughts. But in his pocket he saved a certain letter and drawing, carefully folded away in a small metal container.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some criticism about Lady D.'s dresses online. The style is from the 1770's and the story takes place in 1819..., 40 to 50 years later, so I thought to give an explanation for her wardrobe in a way that fits her character.


	19. Mr. Crowe’s request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte follows up on Mr. Crowe's request to call on Clara Brereton. Clara confides in Charlotte and scandal-loving Mr. Crowe appears to be a real gentleman.

# 19\. Mr. Crowe’s request

AfFter her parting with Sidney, Charlotte was happy to be distracted by her visit to the Royal Observatory and other excursions. She was introduced to men of science, doctors, several quite pleased with her interest and looks. Some of them had her and her sister invited to dinner parties, they greeted her in the park, showing an utmost and sincere regard for her, but Charlotte would give them little encouragement. And Lady Worcester took the girls to virtually every ball, play or concert there was in town. Her full programme allowed Charlotte little time to grieve over Sidney’s departure, full as she was with all the information she absorbed, the names of the people they were introduced to. Her feet hurt from all the dancing, her eyes with all the sights, her head with all the impressions, conversations and information. Only several weeks after the dinner party for the promotion of Sanditon, Charlotte finally found time to follow up on Mr. Crowe’s request to pay Miss Brereton a visit.

“Thank you, Miss Heywood, for this honour.” Miss Brereton said. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me, after my history in Sanditon.”

Charlotte smiled: “It is not for me to judge. I’ve ill-judged people too often lately.” Her thoughts went to Sidney.

“Thank you, you’re one of the few people who’s always been kind to me.” Miss Brereton said with a sincerity that was unusual for her.

“What about Lady Denham?” Charlotte asked .

“No,.. I mean she took me in, but only as a source of amusement, to plague her cousins.” Miss Brereton shook her head with bitterness.

“And what of Mr. Crowe?” asked Charlotte

Clara smiled shyly. “He‘s very kind. I would never have expected him to be. He supports me financially, although he denies it. He says I win his money fair and square. He is amazing. He does not take advantage of my situation at all. It’s surprised me. I’m not used to that…”she said with a soft, trembling voice.

Charlotte took her friend’s hand. “It’s all right Clara. I don’t know what your experiences in your life have been. But I gather you’ve not had the shelter you should have had and it has deformed you. Whatever mistakes you might have made, I’m convinced they are the result of ill treatment by others. And I’m glad you have found someone who redeems you. You may have fallen, but you can rise again, I’m sure. You can be cured of your bitterness if you find love.” There was a sad tenderness in her voice, as she thought of Sidney again while she spoke.

“Charlotte, you are too good for me. No, I must take responsibility for my own actions. And my past is showing itself more and more… I cannot hide it much longer. I fear he will abandon me then…”she said softly as she laid a hand on her belly. “And I cannot pretend it is his, he has not touched me...”

Charlotte’s mouth dropped open. “Dear God, Clara!”

Miss Brereton looked at the floor in shame. Charlotte recomposed herself. “Is it…Sir Edward’s?” she asked hesitatingly.

“Who else…” Miss Brereton replied with cynical bitterness.

“Does he know?” Charlotte wondered out loud.

“I’ve written him a letter… He replied he ‘cannot be sure it is his’.” Miss Brereton’s laugh was bitterly cynical . “He has no intent of acknowledging the child. And even if he would, he states that my scheming has left him without the means to support it.”

“He’s wretched indeed.” Charlotte replied in shock. She was wondering whether she could persuade her parents to take Clara in, or her uncle John, the vicar.

“I will try to help you Clara…. I do not have much financial means, but I can try to find a home for you and your child if Mr. Crowe should throw you out.”

At that moment the subject of conversation walked in, quite pleased to see Miss Heywood, but a little puzzled at the their state of despondency. He hated sadness, so he obliged them to laugh at his jokes and tricks. After tea and a game of cards he asked Charlotte if he could escort her back to her coach. There he appeared more serious and in all sincerity asked: “Miss Brereton seems increasingly depressed. I see she’s trying to hide it, but I can’t seem to get out of her what’s wrong. Has she confided in you? ”

“Yes, Mr. Crowe.” She looked him in the eye to estimate whether she could trust him “I fear she is in great trouble.” Charlotte replied giving him a meaningful look. “Please do not judge her, you are very kind to her, but I’m afraid not all men have been so…”

He looked a little puzzled, than widened his eyes. “Please do not abandon her.” Charlotte pleaded again.

“No, no.” he said, looking a little baffled.

The next day, when Mr. Crowe went back to see Miss Brereton, he ignored her usual display of pleasantry. When she had poured him tea he suddenly stood up and kneeled beside her, much to her astonishment.

“Miss Brereton… Clara, I hope you do not feel the need to keep up appearances with me. I think I know your concerns. I think you have been mistreated and abandoned.” He said softly, looking gently in her eyes.

His tenderness came to her as a surprise and she could only put her face in her hands and sob.

“Well, calm down, …Clara.” he said softly. “I know I am a wretched man, but I hope you don’t think _that_ badly of me.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Crowe…Indeed you are not that bad….you take me by surprise.” She cried, she smiled, she was in shock.

“Good, because I hate to be predictable.” He replied with a grin. “Now, please, call me Francis…and what do you say, will you be my partner in my scheme to relentlessly shock polite society in all its hypocrisy? ”

She smiled with a nod, laughing at his unusual proposal and started crying again.

“I’m sorry, Francis, I’m not used to meeting such kindness, certainly not from a man, not even in my own family...” as she started crying again.

“ Yes, family can be such a curse…”Mr. Crowe added. “I fear you have not been fortunate in your relatives, not in wealth, not in affection…”

“Or protection…”she added softly, staring at her feet.

He tried put pull her face closer with his hand and felt her stiffen. “I see…. I think I know what you mean…. My family has given me wealth, but no affection, something I mistook for affection, but…” they looked each other in the eyes and nothing more needed to be said to understand each other’s pain.


	20. Considerations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte helps Clara and Mr. Crowe to prepare for their wedding and runs into Arthur. Charlotte hopes to hear from Georgiana and get her advice. Georgiana writes her and confuses her even more. An invitation from Lady Denham arrives.

# 20\. Considerations

A few days later Mr. Crowe sent a note to Charlotte, asking her to attend his wedding with Miss Brereton as their witness. He had hoped to ask his friend Sidney as a second witness, but learnt the man was out of town for almost two months; and he did not want to confront Lord Babington or his relatives yet with his betrothal to Miss Brereton. He decided to surprise them. So he asked Charlotte to bring a second witness. She decided to ask her brother William. She called on him at her uncle’s house, and to her great surprise found Arthur Parker there and quite willing to respond to the task of being the second witness as well. And as Arthur knew Mr. Crowe, he seemed a more logical choice.

Arthur offered to escort Charlotte home, which she reluctantly accepted.

In the coach she remarked: "Why, Arthur, you and my brother have become quite good friends."

"Yes, we have."Arthur replied with a chuckle that seemed to be accompanied by a blush. It confused Charlotte for a moment, but then she reminded herself that Arthur was a shy man who would blush merely from having a good friend or sharing a carriage with a woman other than his sister. 

"William tells me you exercise a lot together." she added.

"Yes, he takes me walking around the fields just outside town. I feel it is having a beneficial effect on my health. And I take him out for some entertainment."

"I'm glad. William could use a good friend in London, my uncle and my cousins seem to be rather dull company for him."she replied. 

"Yes."Arthur replied briefly. He was nervously fiddling with his fingers, drumming them on his chin and after a while asked her: “Miss Heywood, I wondered if you had heard anything from Miss Lambe since her return to Sanditon.” 

“Not much, Arthur, I’m afraid. Only a confirmation of her safe arrival.” She replied briefly, a little uneasy at entering this topic.

“I see…” he said hesitatingly “It is just that I am waiting for an answer to a question I put to her.”

“Well, if it concerns marriage, she did write about Mrs. Griffiths making arrangements for it.” Charlotte replied dryly, deciding to tease him a little.

“Oh really? Miss Lambe has plans to wed then? “He asked carefully, frowning.

“No, I meant that Mrs. Griffiths is getting married to reverend Hankins.” Charlotte corrected him with a smile. “And that her guardian is looking for a new school.” She added, hoping her voice wouldn’t tremble from mentioning Sidney.

“Is my brother?... well if he should find none, Miss Lambe sure is welcome to live with me and my sister.” He said, looking somewhat annoyed at not having been informed himself by either his brother or Miss Lambe. “I believe she’ll be much happier with us than with another governess and my sister raised me practically, so she has experience enough with the task.”

“I’m sure Sidney will appreciate that offer….For Miss Lambe and Mrs. Campion do not get along well.” Charlotte replied, remembering Sidney’s limited appreciation for Diana’s and Arthur’s mutual dependence on each other, one dragging the other in a state of hypochondria.

“Indeed.” Arthur replied, a little insecure. “And how about yourself, Miss Heywood. I hear you have quite some suitors, no plans for marrying yourself yet?” He asked carefully, while fiddling with his cravat this time. She dropped her eyes .”No, but I may have to consider that sometime in the near future.” she answered somewhat mysteriously.

“Oh, and who is the lucky man, if I may ask.” Arthur asked curiously

She thought of Mr. Stringer’s cryptic message about asking her an important question over Christmas. She had written Georgiana about it, asking her advice, but Georgiana had not yet replied. Though she didn’t want to commit herself before Sidney’s marriage to Mrs. Campion was definitive, she asked herself whether this was the right decision. If she could not marry Sidney, she did not want deprive herself of a chance at happiness with someone else. She didn’t want to make the same mistake he had. He had remained unmarried, turned bitter after Eliza had rejected him a decade before. He had waited ten years for her to be free, now he just wanted to be free of her. She did not want to live like that, to be disappointed with life like that. She liked Mr. Stringer, he had shown nothing but affection and regard for her. She did not care for him as ardently as she did for Sidney, but maybe that was only a blessing. She thought of what Esther Babington had said of Lady Denham’s advice: “Better to be loved than the one to love.” Mr. Stringer would never try to hurt her. She had never quarrelled with him. He was her friend. She wondered if that friendship would be a solid base enough for marriage. She still had some time to decide.

Charlotte forced a smile ”Surely a lady cannot disclose a proposal before it has actually been made or before she has made up her mind.” she corrected Arthur. “My sister, my brother and me will be returning home for Christmas. We’ll just see then.” she added, hoping he would silence on the subject.

“Yes, I believe Sidney will be returning from his trip to Lisbon around that time too.” he said meaningfully.

Charlotte looked at him, quite puzzled at what he meant with that.

“It must be hard on Mrs. Campion to have him gone so long, but I gather she’s quite preoccupied with having Mr. Stringer building a garden pavilion, a wedding present from her to Sidney, I understand.” Arthur continued. Charlotte, remembering Mr. Stringer telling her about a ‘generous payment’ for a building project in London, wondered if he had been talking about Mrs. Campion and wondered what Mrs. Campion was cooking up. Arthur added that he and his sister Diana had called upon Mrs. Campion a few times, but that there was no need to worry about her solitude during Sidney’s absence. Their old friend Sir Edward Denham had quite taken up the task to entertain Mrs. Campion he told, which he regarded quite a service to Sidney, seemingly unaware of the enmity between the two gentlemen.

Charlotte listened to what Arthur had to say with interest. She was wondering what was driving Sir Edward to spend so much time with Mrs. Campion. Well, she could guess, but she was wondering if he might be successful in his quest. Back in Lady’s Worcester house she saw Georgina had written her back. But her friend’s answer was rather vague, both with regard to her own consideration of Arthur’s proposal as Mr. Stringer’s to Charlotte.

_Dear Charlotte, dear friend,_

_I have received your letter and I understand your struggle is similar to mine. How difficult it is to contemplate what is our best prospect of happiness. Are we to become slaves of our own desires and blind affections? Shall we wait bitterly for what may never come? Can we find happiness in marriage based on mere friendship? I cannot make a decision yet. Not for myself, not for you. I can only advice you not to decide too hurriedly._

_I have had a good conversation with Sidney before he left for Lisbon. I understand now he only means to protect me, even at the cost of his own chance at happiness. You were right about him, now I just hope I’m not wrong about others. A lot may happen before Christmas, is all I can say. I hope to have more news by then. Just take care of your heart and don’t decide anything that you may regret later._

_Affectionately yours, Georgiana._

There was another letter. It was from Lady Denham, who expressed a desire for some company. The Babingtons would visit her with Christmas, but she requested Charlotte to come the first three weeks of December with her sister to entertain her ladyship, unless of course Charlotte had finally found herself a rich husband.

Charlotte felt some reluctance to go, but she did not want to upset Lady D. who would could still pull out her investments in Sanditon and send the Parkers to the poorhouse and debtor’s prison. So she convinced Allison to come with her, despite the fact that her earlier account of Lady D. had not been recommending. Allison asked whether they would be able to see Mr. Stringer. Charlotte assured her they would visit him, though she dreaded to see him after the question he put to her.


	21. confrontation with SIr Edward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte calls on Sir Edward to confront him with his behaviour towards Clara. He accuses Charlotte of having an affair with Sidney. Lady Worcester makes her next move.

# 21\. Confrontation with Sir Edward

Before the Crowe's wedding, Charlotte went to see sir Edward Denham at the army base. He showed a curious smile when seeing her at the gate.

“Why, Miss Heywood. What a surprise to see you. I thought I had quite sunk in your approval.”

“That may be true.” Charlotte replied sternly. “But you may redeem yourself by doing the right thing.”

“I am curious what you mean.” He asked rather slyly

“I’m talking about Miss Brereton.” she said.

“Miss Brereton?! Please do not name that vile creature of a woman, if indeed she is one.” He spoke harshly.

“I believe you have had confirmation of that, sir.” Charlotte said with angry reproof. “And after you ruined her, you abandoned her.”.

“Now who’s ruined who? That little witch has cost me my inheritance and my relationship with my sister. And she was ruined long before she came to Sanditon, don’t fall for that feigned display of innocence of her.” he sneered. “I owe her nothing.”

“And what about your child? Don’t you owe it something.” she retorted.

“Tss” He snorted. “I doubt it’s mine, given her history… in any case I’m not in a position to help them out, as you can see. And that is her own doing, if she hadn’t set up my sister and aunt against me…” he pulled on the shoulder straps of his uniform and grimaced.

“I’m not asking you to marry her, a more honourable gentleman is taking care of that…But you could at least acknowledge your share.” She pleaded.

“Oh, in that case I don’t see why I should bother.” He said with disdain “No gentleman will raise a child that is known to be fathered by someone else. Such a disgrace. He’d rather have people believe it is his.” He smirked. “And who are you to talk to me about honour anyway.” He retorted. “You and Clara must get along very well, both so cunningly seducing men who are committed to another woman and pretending to be all innocence the meanwhile.”

She stared at him disgust.

“Oh, now don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about. Your little clandestine meetings with Sidney Parker. I have been watching the two of you. It might be forgiven if he wasn’t engaged to someone else. You couldn’t even wait till after the wedding to have him make you his mistress, could you. Of course you’ll be a fallen woman, like Clara, but what will it matter when he’s one of the richest men in England. And of course Lady Worcester will give you a good preparation in that role. ” He sneered.

She gasped for air, finding herself unable to speak for a moment.

“Sir Edward.” She said angrily: “Whatever you might have seen, I can assure you nothing dishonourable went on.”

“Well, in that case you won’t mind me telling Mrs. Campion.” he smiled viciously as he bowed and turned away, back inside the army base.

Charlotte quite panicked. She didn’t know whether to be more angry with Sir Edward, or with Sidney, for having taken the risk of displaying intimacy towards her when they thought they were alone. If Mrs. Campion was angry with him she could have him sued for breach of contract or send him to debtor’s prison for inability to repay the bank eighty thousand pounds. Or maybe she’d just blame Charlotte and ruin her reputation. Quite distressed Charlotte returned back to Lady Worcester’s house.

After a dinner in silence, and Allison having left the room, Lady Worcester tried to hear her friend out. Charlotte confided in her, knowing that Susan would be one of the few people who would not condemn her. Reluctantly she told her hostess that Sir Edward had spoken foully of her ladyship. Lady Worcester seemed little impressed “Well has he...I take little notice of what people say of me. But someone else may.” she said with some mystery in her voice. “And Sir Edward and Mrs. Campion have become quite good friends, have they?” she said slyly. “Dear Charlotte, do not despair. I know how this game is being played and I know how to win.”


	22. Edward's Scheme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sir Edward is on a mission to make Mrs. Campion have doubts about Sidney.

#  _22._ _Edward’s Scheme_

Whatever his threat to Charlotte, Sir Edward was not bent on conveying his suspicions to Mrs. Campion in haste. His plan was to secure his own interests first; and aware that Charlotte had quite a powerful friend, he did not want to be too forward. Now a letter from a high-ranked individual had given him a secret assignment, to be carried out with military precision. And if carried out well, his reward would be great.

He called again on Mrs. Campion as he was in the habit of doing the past few weeks, supposedly to ask her help in finding a suitable lady for himself. That day he asked her if she had heard anything of Miss Heywood lately. She denied she had. “I’m surprised she hasn’t called on you, considering she is such a good friend of the Parker family.” he replied slyly.

“Well, Miss Heywood must be very busy.” Mrs. Campion answered, forcing a smile. “I hear Lady Worcester has set up quite the programme for her and her sister. Apparently those poor girls have to learn in two months what others girls get two years for.” She snickered.

“Yes, that must be it, though I see them walking in the park quite often… I saw Sidney too there recently.” He remarked, careful to drop the ball as casually as possible.

“Really, that is odd, since he is in Lisbon right now.” She frowned in confusion. But he could see a seed of suspicion had been planted, if it had not been there yet and was ready to sprout.

“It must have been before that.” Sir Edward said hastily. “Yes, I think it was a week after the dinner party at Lady Worcester’s house. I saw him and Miss Heywood talking together. Quite an emotional display, I dare say.”

Mrs. Campion froze. “They were alone?” she asked carefully.

“No, I believe her ladyship was nearby.” he said

“Well, Sidney did say he confides much in Miss Heywood when it comes to the guardianship of his ward, Miss Lambe. That girl gives him great concerns.” Mrs. Campion tried to legitimise Sidney’s and Charlotte’s conduct, but not very convincingly.

“Yes, I remember this summer Miss Lambe seemed to be in quite some danger and Mr. Parker and Miss Heywood managed to rescue her in close collaboration. They were quite the team at the cricket match as well. Running around each other.” Sir Edward added nonchalant, as if did not know its implication.

“Well, he has told me little about that.” Mrs. Campion replied a little astonished, looking worried.

“Well, I’m sure Mr. Parker merely wished to protect the reputation of the girls and not make you jealous, after all, it happened before your engagement. I know him to be very discrete, you might almost consider him secretive.” Sir Edward excused Sidney’s behaviour waving his hand in a gesture.

“Yes.” she said hesitatingly

“I’m sure there is nothing to it.” Sir Edward said. “After all he’s marrying the one woman he has waited for for ten years…You are a _lucky_ woman, Mrs. Campion. You can at least be sure that he’s not merely marrying you for your fortune. “

“Merely? Sidney wanted to marry me when I had as good as nothing. I’m sure that hasn’t changed.” she answered a little offended.

“No, it must be a coincidence that your betrothal was arranged so shortly after his family went to ruins. I actually thought him attached to someone else, but I must be wrong. They’re quite the lot you know, those Parkers and I think it very daring of you to trust your fortune with them.”

“Sidney is a sensible man, he has made quite a fortune on his own.” She said reassuringly, but a scowl remained in place.

“He has improved, indeed.” Sir Edward said. “I recall he had quite some gambling debts some eight or nine years ago. His brother had to bail him out. He’s not quite the man you abandoned ten years ago, he’s become quite vile. And violent too…”

“Violent…?!’Mrs. Campion replied in shock.

“Oh yes, but don’t worry , I’m sure he doesn’t apply his fists in his interactions with ladies…he’s no Stoney-Bowes” Sir Edward only half tried to convince her, whisking her concern away with his hands, while naming perhaps the most brutal husband that had ever lived. “I merely meant that he’s notorious for his boxing skills.”

“Boxing?! Mr. Parker boxes?!” Mrs. Campion exclaimed in disbelief. She shuddered in remembrance of the harsh hands of her late husband and his jealous outbursts when he realised he had gotten her hand, but not her heart.

“Oh yes, ask any of his friends…and now the irony is that Tom Parker has gambled away my aunt’s money in the development of Sanditon.” Sir Edward continued, consciously ignoring the alarmed look on his hostess’ face. “Even if she hadn’t cut me out, I would have been left with nothing.” he laughed cynically. “And of course _Arthur_ Parker only spends his money on food and doctors, at least if his smothering sister does not first.”

Mrs. Campion started to feel more and more uneasy. Observing that, sir Edward continued: “Well, tell me more of your plans with the house. I hope Mr. Parker appreciates all your efforts.”

“Well.” She said hesitatingly: “Whenever I ask him his opinion he just says “I don’t care if the walls are green or blue, I am marrying you.”.”

“How romantic of him to speak to you with such poetic rhyme…what a talent he has.” Sir Edward reacted a little sarcastically.

“Well, he used to write me quite some verses when we were young…”she argued. “But he is a busy man now, with many obligations, he has less time now than when he was still in school.”

“Talking of poetry, have you thought about my suggestions for integrating some poetry in your wall decoration?” Sir Edward asked.

“Well, I must say it’s great to know there are men who can be interested in such things.” Mrs. Campion said with a smile. “I was hoping you could help me with a selection.”

“And what of your garden pavilion? I must say I feel a little jealousy here. How many women go to such lengths to please their future husband? Of course he is equally considerate of you. Must be showering you with presents to express his longstanding love for you. Writing you every day I suppose?” he asked, raising one eyebrow.

She showed a faint smile: “Well, I have not heard much of him yet, but then the mail takes quite long from Lisbon. And he is quite pre-occupied till the wedding. But afterwards he’ll have more time for me.” It sounded as if she was trying to convince herself more than her guest.

“Surely he can dispatch a little love note on the stops on the way.” Sir Edward said with false surprise. “Well I am curious what attracted you to marrying him, I gather it’s not his poetry or his prose.”

She smiled: “No, I’m afraid he’s lost the habit of that in these ten years. Well, when he was eighteen it was all he had on his mind of course, having no responsibilities. I guess I have always loved him, ever since I met him more than fourteen ago, even though we were not able to marry then...” she said.

“I’m surprised he has forgiven you for jilting him. I know him to be quite bent on loyalty.” sir Edward said. “But then he has a forgiving heart as well, probably. And he is indeed quite loyal to his family. Yes, he is absolutely a family man. I have seen him play with his nephew and nieces. He must be very eager to become a father himself. I’m sure he would be very disappointed if it didn’t happen. Personally I wouldn’t mind remaining childless, but then I’m not Sidney Parker. ”

Mrs. Campion, looking a little embarrassed said: “Well, that is something we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I see I struck the wrong cord. “sir Edward reacted, as if it was not his intention to make her doubt herself. “Don’t worry Mrs. Campion. You are still young enough. Mr. Campion was quite old and sickly, I’m sure that is the reason why you remained childless. I’m sure your luck will change.” he smiled at her.

Mrs. Campion, quite wishing to end the uneasy conversation offered to play something on the piano for her guest. She sat down at the pianoforte and sir Edward offered to turn the pages for her and sang along. While playing she realised how pleasant it was to have somebody who shared her interests.


	23. Rivals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lord and Lady Babington make a few shocking discoveries.

# 23\. Rivals

A few days later Mr. Crowe married Clara Brereton. They had a small ceremony after gaining common license to marry quickly and without the usual calling of the bans in church three Sunday services in advance. The newly-weds left England almost immediately for a long stay abroad. So their marriage became only publicly known after it had been published in the papers, and that was how the message was conveyed to Lord Babington.

“Dear God!” he cried out while reading the paper at the breakfast table, alarming his lady.

“What is the matter, Charles?” She asked him with a smile. “Has heaven fallen out of the sky? Because I have never see you look so astonished.”

“Well, something like that.” He cried out. “So _that’_ s what he’s been up to.” He mumbled in himself.

“ _Who_ is dear? And _what_?” his wife asked.

“Crowe!” He exclaimed “I can’t believe it!”

“Well, The only thing about Crowe that would surprise me were if he had gotten married.” Lady Babington said dryly with a smirk.

“That’s just it! And considering who he is married to, I’m not surprised he’s not invited us to his wedding.” Lord Babington replied offendedly. She raised her eyebrows while taking a sip from her tea. “I’m sorry dear. I’m afraid this is going to be quite upsetting to you…but it is Miss Brereton.”

She nearly dropped her teacup in shock. “Clara!? Are you sure? There must be more Miss Breretons?” she said in astonishment.

“I’m not sure there are more Miss Breretons with the same Christian name.” he said.

“How? Why?” Lady Babington asked in confusion.

“I don’t know, you _know_ they met in Sanditon. But after the first ball I never got the impression he was pursuing her.” He said somewhat befuddled. “and all the while teasing me, and Sidney with our romantic pursuits…how sly he is…”

“I’m sure your friend is just doing this to vex me.” she said with some bitterness “He’s never liked me. I’m sorry,Charles, but I’m afraid you have to alienate yourself from him, because I’m never letting that Clara-creature inside this house.” She said firmly.

“I know, dear. I know she has hurt you terribly. Let’s not waste our time on Mr. and Mrs. Crowe. We have more pleasant things to look forward to.” He said resignedly as he tenderly stroked her belly.

She smiled, as she looked in his eyes: “Yes, well I guess I have to thank her for one thing; without her I never would have realised what a vile creature my brother is and I would never have freed myself of him.”

“Well, I’m glad your opinion of her is improving. And indeed I’m grateful your liberation enabled you to consider and accept me.” he said with a loving smile “Why don’t we go for a walk and call on Mrs. Campion. I promised Sidney to keep an eye on her and I would like to know if she’s heard from him. I thought he would be back by now. I fear he was on that ship that disappeared near Madeira recently.” His wife complied, not because she liked the woman, but because she was curious what Mrs. Campion knew about Mr. And Mrs. Crowe and how their union was forged and of course out of concern for Sidney Parker.

When they were let in to the house, Mrs. Campion's butler, Mr. Rumperd, seemed a bit nervous and hesitating to announce them. Lady Babington, sensing something was amiss, did not wait but paced quickly past Mr. Rumperd into Mrs. Campion’s drawing room and her husband followed close behind. To her shock Lady Babington saw her step-brother leaning over Mrs. Campion who was playing the piano and though he stepped back quickly, she was sure to see his hands on Mrs. Campion’s shoulders and having his mouth close to the lady’s ear. Lord Babington saw it too. He cried somewhat outraged: “Mrs. Campion, might I ask what sir Edward Denham is doing here?”

Mrs. Campion blushed for a moment, realising what the scene might have looked like. Actually she had been too preoccupied with sir Edward’s attentions to notice her visitors walk in; and though she always had a her lady’s maid present, she realised the woman had just left the room to pass a message to the cook.

“Lord Babington!’ she said a little flushed. “Sir Edward is merely helping me with my piano rehearsal and singing along.”

“Really, Mrs. Campion! Do be careful with this gentleman. His hands are known to wander off to places that are forbidden to him.” Lord Babington replied agitated.

Sir Denham looked at him with contempt and replied: “I gather my sister has been slandering me again?”

Lady Babington, quite in shock, felt a cramp and sunk down on the sofa before she could say a word. Lord Babington pressed for a physician to be called immediately. Mrs. Campion sent a Mr. Rumperd away to fetch one and let Sir Denham out of the house quickly. “I’m sorry Sir Denham’s presence has made his sister feel unwell.” she apologised to Lord Babington after the man had left.

Lord Babington looked at her, looking angry, and said: “I will have to tell Mr. Parker about what I just saw, Mrs. Campion, if you don’t. As his friend I cannot let this pass.” he said with some agitation.

“Why, Lord Babington, what are you insinuating?” she asked with panic in her voice.

“A lady does not receive a man like Sir Denham when her fiancé is away at sea, especially not a man her fiancé disapproves of and who is notorious for his tendency to seduce vulnerable women.” Lord Babington spelled out to her. “Now, it is not for me to judge, I’ll leave that to Sidney, but I hope for your sake that he does not find you compromised.”

“Lord Babington, you are exaggerating, and I can assure you I am never alone with Sir Edward.” She pleaded desperately.

“Are you saying, Mrs. Campion, that he comes here _frequently_?” Babington asked her sternly, raising his eyebrows.

She gazed at him a moment, looking caught.

"I must say, Mrs. Campion, you seem to have little regard for my friend. Amusing yourself with other men while he was possibly on the ship that went missing.: he said disdainfil. "Or have you heard from him?" he asked her with more concern.

"What are you saying, Lord Babington? Has Sidney gone missing? No wonder I did not hear from him."

"You didn't know a ship went missing near Madeira, around the time he would travel back to England?" Lord Babington asked somewhat surprised.

"Apparently you are better informed of his itinary than I am, Lord Babington." she said with a little irritation.

"I'm sorry, I hoped you would know more." he said apogetically. "I'll make inquiries and keep you updated."

"Please do. Apparently I'm the last to be informed of Sidney's whereabouts." she said cynically. 

"He probably does not want to concern you." Lord Babington argued.

As they were arguing, a letter from Sidney was delivered to Mrs. Campion, telling her that there was some delay in his return due to the weather and damage to the ship that had to be repaired. He was stranded in Gibraltar, recued by the British navy and he might not be back before the second week of January, as there were few ships departing to England before Christmas. He would probably land in Portsmouth, so any letters could be sent to the port office there. Apart from a civil inquiry after her wellbeing and that of the family, she read little that showed any affection from his side. She showed it to Lord Babington, who sighed relieved.

The physician arrived and examined Lady Babington. He concluded that Lady Babington had had a shock, but that the child she was expecting was not in danger. It was recommended that she rested so Mrs. Campion had them taken home in her carriage. They forgot to inquire about Mr. Crowe's wedding.


	24. Return to Sanditon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Allison leave London to stay with Lady D. for a few weeks. Charlotte is confronted with a lot of memories. Lady D. gives her marital advice and a task. Charlotte has even more ideas for Sanditon and discovers she and Georgiana may have induced a curse, while Allison tries to gain Mr. Stringer's attention.

# 24\. Staying with Lady D.

It was the end of November and the two Heywood sisters took their leave from Lady Worcester, who was to join ‘her special friend’ for Christmas in Scotland. Their hostess asked Charlotte whether she had heard anything from a ‘certain gentleman’ lately. Charlotte shook her head: “No, I told him not to contact me unless he could make me a promise.” she answered, mumbling: “I doubt he ever will.”

“Do not despair. I have good hopes for the both of you.” Lady Worcester replied with her usual tone of mystery. “Do not give up yet.”

“Thank you, Susan, for your support, but I feel I must move on, before I go mad and maybe miss out on the few chances at happiness I have left.” Charlotte replied with some hesitance. Lady Worcester gave her a hug.

Allison too, thanked her ladyship for everything. When Lady Worcester inquired after the small painting that was packed, Allison blushed: “Just a present for someone special.” Susan smiled meaningfully and replied: “Well I hope _he_ , or _she_ , appreciates it. At least as much as I adore the silk screen you painted for me. You have a great talent there, girl.” As they took off, Allison expressed her excitement at the prospect of seeing Mr. Stringer again. Charlotte said nothing, as she dreaded seeing Mr. Stringer herself. Not before she had made up her mind about her own future.

When after many hours she smelled the sea air again, she took a deep breath. They passed Mary and Tom’s old house amidst the fields, the woodbine on the side of the house was losing its last bright red leaves. Again, the half-timbered house with decorative brickwork looked adorable to Charlotte. Then they entered the Park of Sanditon House. Allison gasped as she saw the size of the house. “Are we to stay _there_ ” she whispered. Charlotte nodded. “Well after Lady Susan’s house, you’ve got used to grand houses. And I’m sure Lady D. will like you more than she does me. She thinks I’m too opiniated and headstrong.” She tried to reassure Allison. Allison smiled silently. “Just do that, don’t speak and she’ll be pleased with you.” Charlotte teased her sister.

As they entered the parlour, Lady Denham stood up and came to them: “Well, there you are. I was wondering if you’d come at all!” she looked up and down to take in Allison. “Well, don’t just stand there, Miss Heywood, introduce me.” she said to Charlotte in her usual agitated voice.

“I apologise Lady Denham, this is my sister Allison.” Charlotte said humbly.

“Well, glad you could come, Miss Allison. I see have all the advantages of beauty your sister hasn’t.” The two sisters glanced at each other a little embarrassed. “Are you as witty as Miss Heywood? Or are you more sensible?”

Allison smiled shyly. “Indeed Allison is the more sensible one.” Charlotte answered.

“Yes, I see she is. She knows when to keep silent. I do miss Clara, she could listen to me without interference, and play the piano beautifully. Sadly under that tranquil beautiful surface she was rotten to the core. But I’m sure you’re not so corrupt as my niece, Miss Allison. There’s nothing to corrupt you, since you have no chance at inheriting my money.”

Charlotte looked a little embarrassed, but calmly replied: “Well, Lady Denham, you’ll be pleased to hear that Allison is a very accomplished pianist as well.”

“Are you? Well, do play after you’ve finished your tea and are settled in your room.” Her ladyship commanded her. “I thought you would be used to sharing a room, so I hope you don’t mind I had just one prepaired for you. It saves me a lot on fuelwood” 

“Indeed, milady, we shall be very comfortable sharing a room.” Charlotte said, forcing a smile.

“Well do sit down. Don’t just stand there.” Lady Denham exclaimed, directing them towards some chairs. Allison, being very nervous was eager to escape the circle as soon as she had swallowed down her tea and sit down to the pianoforte.

“Well, you did not exaggerate much, Miss Heywood.” Lady D. commented “Your sister plays at least as well as Clara, and a lot better than Esther. I’m glad I invited her, despite the extra costs…. Now do tell me, are you still bent on remaining an old spinster? I’m sure being introduced to society by Lady Worcester must have provided you with some eligible suitors, despite your lack of dowry. Many a wealthy bachelor would see advantage in attaching himself to a protégé of her.”

“Indeed, I have no plans for marriage yet.” Charlotte said, while directing her gaze to the floor.

“Not yet, you have a suitor do you?” Lady D. smiled. “And a rich one, I hope?”

“I’m sorry, milady, I was not speaking of anybody in particular. I was merely expressing that I might consider marriage if the right man would ask.” Her voice softened and her face saddened. She forced a smile.

“Well I hope you have lost the ridiculous idea of marrying for love and not wealth. Surely, a woman with an independent mind like yours should secure herself a fortune. Marry an old, wealthy man like I did, or Mrs. Campion for that matter. If you dislike him, you’ll be a widow soon enough and you can be your own boss.” Lady D. advised her.

Charlotte quivered on hearing her rival’s name. She replied to Lady Denham softly: “I am no longer so naïve to think that romantic love alone can be enough. Sometimes it takes great love for one’s family to sacrifice one’s own happiness to save them from ruin and marry someone rich.” She tried to supress the tears in her eyes.

Lady Denham examined her face and said gently: “I see you have learnt a lesson in love, Miss Heywood. Do not believe me insensible. I know what it like to lose a love over money…. But I’ve recovered, and so will _you_ when you find a wealthy spouse yourself.”

“But, has it made you _happy_ , Lady Denham? “ Charlotte wondered out loud, regretting her words as soon as she spoke them.

“Well you certainly speak you mind again.” Lady Denham exclaimed displeased.

“I apologise, Lady Denham, I didn’t mean to open any wound of yours. But, if you don’t care for my opinion, I wonder why you invited me. You know I can’t help myself.” She said with an apologetic smile.

“Indeed, I did invite you, despite your lack of propriety and inability to keep your opinion to yourself. But, you’re supposed to _entertain_ me, not _depress_ me.”

“Again, I apologise. I only meant to care for your wellbeing, Lady Denham. And I’ve observed people can turn bitter for the rest of their lives when they are passed over just because their fortunes are not as large as some would wish… or need.” Charlotte replied more humbly.

“Am I bitter? Well, maybe I am. “Lady D. mumbled “Make sure _you_ don’t turn so, Miss Heywood.” She stated firmly “You should take Esther as an example. She managed to get over that impossible infatuation with that dreadful… well, I encouraged her to marry Lord Babington despite the fact she insisted she did not love him, tell me is she unhappy now? Her letters are full of complaints of course, but well that is just Esther.” Her voice was full of pride and self-content.

Charlotte smiled with tender amusement: “I have seen her, Lady Denham, and although she still insists she feels little affection for Lord Babington, her countenance and behaviour show quite the contrary.”

Lady D. smiled, looking very self-satisfied. “Well, she found wealth _and_ love after all. But sometimes you need to open your eyes, not pine after the first buffoon who jilts you. I did very well for Esther, I might do the same for you, although I must say eligible gentlemen are rather scarce here this season…. “she argued and after a pensive silence she continued: “Speaking of not acting overenthusiastic after finding love _and_ wealth, I saw Sidney Parker a month ago and you’d think the man would be over the moon marrying the woman he sobbed over for many years, and she’s exceedingly rich too… well showing off your luck can be called inconsiderate to those less fortunate, but good grace, you don’t have to look like your planning your own funeral instead of your wedding! Even cold-hearted Esther showed more rejoice in her wedding.”

Charlotte startled at hearing Sidney’s name and merely forced a smile. “Well, I shall not turn bitter. At least I have my freedom, which I value over being locked up in an unhappy marriage.” She tried to say it without sounding emotional.

“Are you really that free, Miss Heywood? Surely your parents wish you to be married soon, or your eldest brother for that matter. Or are they willing to keep you forever?” Lady D. questioned her.

Charlotte sighed: “Indeed my mother and my brother are impatient to get me off their hands. My father however is not eager to part with me.”

“But surely you are a great expense to him, and you must think of your sisters. Once _you_ are married, their prospects increase.” Lady Denham remarked, a little puzzled.

“Well, I could always work as a governess, and my father is of the opinion that I earn my keep by helping him with his administration.” Charlotte clarified.

“Does he?” Lady Denham asked bemused. “Are you that good with books and paperwork?”

Charlotte smiled humbly: “Well I like to make myself useful. You know I helped Tom Parker while I was staying at Trafalgar House. ”

“Well, you might help me, since you appear not to have your sister’s talent for playing the piano. Edward and Clara made such a mess of my study this summer while they tried to get hold of my will. And since _you_ are not getting anything, I think I can trust you not trying to milk me like they did.”

“I’m glad if I can be of help, Lady Denham.” Charlotte said softly “It must be difficult to not know whether people love you for yourself or for your money.”

Lady Denham looked emotional for a second. And then she sneered: “Do not pity me. I can do perfectly without. Now it is time you two girls go upstairs and get ready for dinner.” Charlotte and Allison hurried to oblige.

When they appeared in the dining room, Lady Denham looked quite pleased at their silk dresses: “Well, I take it Lady Worcester made sure you have a good wardrobe. Very well, since you’ve been well supplied, I hope you don’t expect me to add to it. A good wardrobe goes a long way. I had a good wardrobe when I first got married and it has lasted these forty years since. ”

Charlotte smiled uneasily, while Allison tried to suppress her laughter at Lady D.’s old-fashioned dress from the 1770’s: “Indeed we do _not_ expect you to supply us, Lady Denham.” Charlotte replied.

Over dinner Lady Denham asked the girls after their time in London, what they’d seen and heard. And after dinner Charlotte played cards with her, while Allison was glad to be spared any conversation with the rudely direct Lady Denham and sat down behind the pianoforte again.

The next morning, Lady Denham ordered them to walk to town with her. “We _could_ go by carriage, but that would just stimulate idleness. No, a good walk and fresh sea air and milk from my asses is what you need to stay healthy. Unfortunately it is too cold now to go sea bathing as well.”

“Indeed a walk along the cliffs to town is more to our taste , Lady Denham.” Charlotte replied. “Don’t you agree Allison?” she asked her sister, who was still too intimidated to say much.

Allison replied: “Indeed, Charlotte told me the cliff walks to be very invigorating and I’m eager to see the town. I was hoping to call on a friend.” She looked meaningfully at Charlotte. So they walked through the park, to the cliffs.

They walked past the place where Charlotte had met Sidney, and where they had parted. “You’re very quiet, Miss Heywood.” Lady Denham remarked.

“I apologise, Lady Denham, I was just enjoying the views, I’ve missed them much.” Charlotte excused her silence.

“I’m sure you have, dear!” Lady Denham replied pleased. “You must have many happy memories here, I dare say.”

Charlotte forced a smile. They came near the rock where she and Sidney had let their feelings on the run and had kissed the day of the Midsummer ball. She stopped and looked at the sea. She felt her eyes fill with tears.

“What is the matter, dear?” Lady Denham asked concerned “They are not _all_ happy memories, I gather?”

Allison hastily replied: “Charlotte’s eyes do not always agree with the air, milady. In London it often made them red and watery.”

“In London I can imagine, that filthy, smoke-filled air. I’ve never cared a fig for London. Well, the fresh sea air should heal your eyes quick enough.” Lady Denham remarked.

Charlotte smiled politely: “Indeed the air is more agreeable here.”

“But I can imagine getting emotional in a place like this, with such a view.” Lady Denham mumbled. “I think many young ladies have special memories to a place like this…. you know, this summer when I looked out of the window, it was just after I had recovered from my fever, I saw a pair kissing, right here on this rock. Absolutely scandalous how they went about, so to say, and for everybody to see. And I doubt the gentleman made an honest women of her. I wonder what the lady’s parents would say.”

“Really?” Charlotte asked somewhat startled: “Could you see who they were?” trying to hide the squeaking and trembling in her voice.

“No, I saw it from the window, it was too far away. But judging by the singular silhouette of his hat, the gentleman resembled Mr. Sidney Parker. It would be so like him, to get a girl’s hopes up, but not committing to anything.” her voice sounded more melancholic than condemning at first, but then her usual frustration took over. “I mean even now that he is engaged, what is he waiting for? Postponing the wedding till Spring and going on a dangerous trip in the meanwhile. He should secure that woman and her fortune now! What if he perishes in the sea. How will I get my money back then? Most unreliable man!” she said with contempt.

Charlotte first felt her cheeks redden and then she went pale. She saw Allison looking at her with a mixture of reproof, pity and concern. Her heart was racing and she felt she couldn’t breathe.

“Well, Miss Heywood, I believe London has done your constitution no good. You seem out of breath already. You need to walk every day in the sea air, drink seawater and the milk from my asses.” Lady D. commented, while examining Charlotte from head to toe with her eyes.

“Well, who needs Dr. Fuchs if they have you, Lady Denham?” Charlotte said, forcing a smile.

“Well, that’s exactly what I’ve keep telling Tom Parker.” Lady Denham exclaimed, looking rather pleased and ignoring the sarcasm Charlotte intended. “Well, move on. You can breathe once we’re in town. Just don’t waste any breath on speaking, take your sister for an example.” Lady D. commanded.

They called on the Parkers. The three elder children, Alissa, Jenny and Henry, were very delighted to see Charlotte, though disappointed not to have her stay her their house. Charlotte promised to call on them almost every day, if Lady Denham would permit. She watched with tenderness how baby James, or rather toddler James, was waddling through the room a few inches taller than when she had last seen him, almost five months before. She could not help her gaze wandering off to Sidney’s portrait in the parlour. Lady D. reproached her for not paying attention to their conversation, while Mary tried to distract her with a look of pitiful understanding, making sure Charlotte was seated with her back towards the portrait. Still she felt his painted gaze staring down on her.

As it happened, Mr. Stringer called on Tom Parker, quite surprised to see the Heywood sisters: “Miss Heywood, Miss Allison, I had not expected to see you so soon again.” He stammered quite delighted.

“Good day, Mr. Stringer!” Charlotte answered politely, while Allison had trouble to hide her own delight. They promised to call on him later in the week. 

“Well that man is becoming quite a gentleman. ”Lady Denham remarked with some disdain after he left again. “He is building himself quite a fancy house now. Undoubtedly with the money he’s earned from _my_ investment.”

“Be assured, Lady Denham, Tom does not pay his workers more than necessary.” Mary quickly interceded. “I believe Mr. Stringer has a commission in London that pays rather handsomely.”

“Indeed, he does.” Charlotte added.

“Does he?” Lady Denham asked “Well, enough, a talented man with ambition may rise above his station. With his handsome looks and a little polishing up of his manners he might find himself a gentle lady to marry too.”

Allison looked quite embarrassed and appalled at Lady D. ‘s blunt estimation of Mr. Stringer’s qualities. Charlotte however calmly replied: “I can assure your Mr. Stringer behaved as true gentleman during the dinner party at Lady Worcester’s House.”

“So, our Mr. Stringer gets invited to the dinner table of the London’s finest, does he? A man with prospects. Maybe we’ll invite him for tea.” Lady D. answered. Allison’s face lightened up, but Charlotte said nothing.

Lady D. changed the subject: “Well, Mr. Parker, I’ve asked Charlotte here to manage my finances and paperwork while she stays with me, I believe you can give her a good reference.”

Tom smiled: ”Indeed, lady Denham, I’ve been quite lost without her assistance.”

“Good, than she shall look at your papers too. I gather you have more talent for dreaming than for bookkeeping and managing your finances.” Lady D. dropped before him with contempt in her voice.

Charlotte looked at the ground quite shocked at Lady D.’s rudeness. Tom looked a little humiliated himself, but soon gathered his senses and replied: “Of Course Lady Denham, I would be very pleased to have Charlotte’s help once more. Certainly now Sidney is away, travelling.”

When they left again Charlotte whispered an apology to Tom: “I’m sorry, Tom, about what lady D. said about your management, she has not discussed it with me and I would not like to impose myself.”

“It’s all right, Charlotte” he sighed “Despite Lady’s D. rude directness, there is a kernel of truth in what she says and I am delighted to work with you once more. I would have asked you myself if Lady D. had not mentioned it. It’s only a pity Sidney isn’t here to team up with us.”

Charlotte’s smile dropped: “Well he has other priorities now.” She said with a trembling voice. Charlotte expressed a hope to see Georgiana, but learned she had moved to a school in Portsmouth just the week before. She was disappointed. She had hoped to learn more from Georgiana about what she had been discussing with Sidney.

The following day Charlotte started the morning with going through Lady D.’s papers and organising them. Around noon, she set off for town together with Allison. They had tea with the Parkers. Tom proposed to show them the construction site and the proceeding of the rebuild. Charlotte was pleased with the progress and complimented Mr. Stringer with the improvements in the design. Allison added the houses seemed like small palaces to her. He showed them one of the terraced houses. It’s facade had Corinthian Pilasters. It wasn’t particularly large, but Mr. Stringer had applied some optic tricks to make the façade look higher than it actually was.

“Well, What do you think Miss Heywood?” he asked meaningfully “Do you think a future Mrs. Stringer could be content living in a house like this?”

“It is yours?” Charlotte asked surprised, not answering his question. Allison however took the bait and gave a rather forward reply: “Oh Mr. Stringer, any woman would be fortunate to live in such a house as your wife.” She smiled shyly at him. He looked rather confused, as Charlotte was avoiding looking him into the eye while Allison kept staring at him.

Charlotte remarked they had to get back to Trafalgar House so she could help Tom sort out his paperwork. “Mr. Stringer, might I ask you to show Allison some more of Sanditon? If you have time of course?” She suggested with a nervous smile. Allison looked at Mr. Stringer with big, eager, demanding eyes.

“Well, if Mr. Parker doesn’t mind me leaving the work for an hour.” he said hesitatingly with a little frown.

“Oh no, you should oblige Miss Allison.” Tom replied reassuringly, waving away Mr. Stringers reservations. “I’m sure Fred Robinson can oversee the construction for the rest of the afternoon.”

Tom walked back to Trafalgar House with Charlotte, while Mr. Stringer showed Allison the rest of Sanditon, told about its history, and walked with her on the beach shortly.

“Oh, it is so beautiful here, Mr. Stringer. I think I could live here.” Allison said meaningfully “I could paint this coastline every day.”

“Well, perhaps you’ll have reason to visit us again someday.” He replied with a shy smile. She asked him whether he had always lived in Sanditon, his youth, after his father and the fire. He told her what had happened. “I must say, I had a lot of support from Fred and your sister after his loss.” He said.

“I think Charlotte sees you as a good _friend_ as well.” Allison replied.

“I’m not sure I am a good friend to her myself, I seem to fail in protecting her from hurt. “he replied with a sigh. “When I see how some men treat her…it fills me with anger. I would like to see her happy.”

Allison bit her lip. “Indeed I wish my sister could be happy too, but it seems not to be in _our_ power.” she replied. “All we can do is be a good friend or affectionate sibling and take her mind of things…. Although I fear coming here to Sanditon is reviving some painful memories….”

He nodded in understanding. “Well, I’d hoped she would move on, see that there are others worthy of her affections…”he sighed defeated .

“Indeed, when our affections are not returned we should try to focus them in another direction. But it is not in our nature to lose hope, I guess.” Allison argued, carefully seeking his eyes. He nodded and then stood gazing at the sea.

They walked back to Trafalgar House with some awkward silence between them. There Tom and Charlotte were busy discussing the plans for Sanditon. Charlotte had looked at the books and was worried not enough houses would be sold before the start of the season. Tom commented he agreed, but at least this year they would have Mrs. Campions fortune to back them up, but he worried at the delay in the wedding and something happening with either Mrs. Campion or Sidney before it took place.

“Well, Tom, I think we should try to do without Mrs. Campion’s money, don’t you agree?” Charlotte’s voice sounded more infuriated and agitated than she meant to.

“Yes, you’re right, Sidney said the same.” Tom replied, a little startled at Charlotte’s outburst. “It’s just that I don’t see _how_. And with Sidney in Lisbon, I have little faith in attracting enough buyers for the properties. Lady W.’s dinner event helped a lot, but we’ve mostly got people stating an intention to rent property for a fortnight or two, not longer. We’ve managed to raise about twenty thousand in investments, and Lord Babington is offering another ten, but it still falls short on what we need. ”

“That’s the problem, Tom, it’s good to have tenants, but at least half of the properties should be sold to close the books. Then the construction costs are covered and the rent income of the remainder will gave you a nice revenue. We need to tempt people to stay in Sanditon longer. It needs more entertainment, not more construction plans or more expensive designs.”

“But what more should we offer them? We have the cricket, the regatta, three balls. We have Dr. Fuchs, the bathing machines. And young men may entertain themselves at the hotel as well. And we'll have the observatory. ”

“What about a hunt? Lady D. said there were too many deer on her estate. What if I can convince her to have a hunting party on her grounds at the end of season? People might be inclined to stay a while longer in Sanditon then. And we should have a fair or a great picnic when the blue bells are blossoming. There should be something to look forward to every fortnight at least.”

“Again great ideas, Charlotte. Sidney would agree with you. He already complained there was too little to do for the guests and he values your opinion very much.” Charlotte forced a smile, but her eyes got dewy again. Mary was just coming down as Tom was speaking and Charlotte noticed how Mary’s eyes examined her face. “I’m sorry Tom is so insensitive.” Mary’s eyes seemed to say.

They told Mary of Charlotte’s ideas. Mary was enthusiastic, except for the part about the picnic about the blue bells. “Are you not aware of the blue bell myths?” she asked with some concern.

Charlotte looked at her frowning with confusion: “Blue bell myths?”

Mary explained: “It is an ancient belief that when the blue bells blossom they ring for a meeting of the fairies. Bad luck falls on those who walk between them and disturb the fairies, moreover if you pick the flowers. Although… if you manage to turn the flower leaves without tearing them, they say you’ll marry the love of your life.”

Charlotte recalled her picnic with Georgiana and Otis in Spring. They had walked and eaten between the blue bells. She had picked the flowers and she had been turning the flower leaves. Could there be any truth in the myth, had she sprung disaster upon them? Things had gone so horribly wrong right after they came back from the picnic. She tried to remember if any of the flower leaves had torn when she turned them, she couldn’t recall.

“You look quite spooked, Charlotte.” Mary remarked. “It is only superstition of course. It think it is because the bulbs are poisonous and people become a little intoxicated when they’ve been in contact with them. But nevertheless, people believe these stories and if there were some accident, I fear people would believe Sanditon is cursed.”

Charlotte looked pensively. She remembered feeling rather intoxicated after the picnic, yes, she had put the stem in her mouth. She thought it had been the beer she’d drunk that had made her lose her self-control, ridicule Sidney and lash out at him with her false accusations. His face! How betrayed and wounded he had looked, after trusting her with Georgiana’s well-being. If she had only inquired after his motives to keep Otis away from Georgiana. But then, he shouldn’t have said it was none of her business, when he had himself entrusted her with Georgiana’s well-being. But what had she done! Maybe the curse of the blue bells was superstition. But if there was any truth in it, how should she set it right?”

“Charlotte, really, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you this tale.” Mary asked her concerned.

“ I fear Charlotte is as much devoted to Sanditon as we are.” Tom argued, patting Charlotte consolingly on the shoulder. “Whatever affects Sanditon, seems to be felt by her quite strongly.” He seemed to rejoice in Charlotte’s strong commitment, as if it were a compliment to his own endeavours to develop the town. Charlotte bit her lip, staring down at the floor, while Tom walked out of the room for a moment. Mary put her arms around her, then lifted Charlotte’s chin with her hand to look in her eyes. “I think I know dear, why it means so much to you.” she whispered kindly. “And don’t think I don’t know what we owe you.” Mary’s eyes were turning moist as well.

Then Allison walked in with Mr. Stringer. Mary recomposed herself asked them to sit down for tea. Tom mentioned the great new ideas he had for Sanditon. Mary and Mr. Stringer looked meaningfully at Charlotte, chuckling. Mary asked Allison to play something for them on the piano as she had done at Lady Worcester’s dinner party. Allison was happy to oblige.

“Don’t you think my sister plays very well?” Charlotte asked Mr. Stringer.

“Indeed she does, Miss Heywood.” He replied.

“There is something very affectionate in the manner that she plays, is it not. My sister doesn’t speak very much, but it’s almost as if she’s trying to speak to someone here through the music.”

He glanced at Charlotte who was looking from Allison to himself and the eager manner in which she tried to recommend her sister. He didn’t answer, but focused his gaze on the pianist for a while.

After tea, Mary asked Mr. Stringer to escort the sisters back to Sanditon House and he happily obliged. He tried to talk with Charlotte, but she was unusually quiet, and rather closing herself off, while Allison was demanding his attention, nervously chattering about all everything she saw around her, praising almost every helm of grass, remarking every indention or every graduation in the green, blue and grey colours of the landscape. Charlotte had him and Allison walk up front and lingered behind. Charlotte heard Allison recite poetry about landscapes, recommended Mr. Stringer to read these works and spoke of the landscape painters whose works she had seen in London and strived to equal in performance. She asked him after the best viewpoints for her drawings.

A new idea came to Charlotte’s mind that she would discuss with Lady Denham and Tom later. They could have a seaside painting competition and exhibition, a poetry recital festival. And they should organise outdoor concerts with a sea view.

They passed the rock again where Sidney and Charlotte had kissed. Charlotte stopped for a moment, gazing over the sea. Sidney was out there somewhere across the sea and she somehow she felt he would sail back to her. Standing right there in the spot where he had made her a wordless promise with his lips, she felt it. After an afternoon ful of Tom’s unsuspecting remarks about how Sidney valued her and agreed with her, she felt again how much he meant to her and the other way around. She heard Allison call out to her, she and Mr. Stringer had gotten quite far ahead, and Charlotte barely noticed it had startled drizzling.

“Is something the matter?” Allison asked her worriedly “It looked like you would stand in the rain forever.”

“Well, I just needed to clear my mind for a moment” Charlotte said, dismissing her sister’s question with a wave of her hands. She noticed Stringer’s concerned look.

Allison whispered: “It seems like you have some special memories of that spot.” Charlotte nodded faintly without speaking and started walking ahead of the others. And Allison asked no more.

Lady Denham reproached them for having been away so long and blamed Mr. Stringer for detaining the young ladies till sunset. “Well Mr. Stringer, you must oblige me by joining us for dinner and a game of whist, we cannot play it often, as we’re usually not with enough people.” He hesitated. “Well, you _can’t_ have any other obligations. You live alone. It’s raining. You might as well join us.” She argued. “And don’t forget it is my investments that give you your work and pay. The least you can do in return is play a game of cards with us.”

Mr. Stringer followed them into the drawing room reluctantly. As they sat down, Charlotte noticed he was alternating between looking embarrassed at Lady D.’s vulgar and rude directness, or to be amused by it. He seemed less insecure at Lady D.’s dinner table than he had been at Lady Worcester’s House, as good manners seemed hardly desired at the table of the rather vulgar lady.

After dinner and a round of whist, Allison again played on the pianoforte. Charlotte put forward her suggestions for Sanditon to Lady D., who was at first appalled by the idea of strange men hunting on her grounds, but Charlotte put forward the advantages. There were many men without hunting grounds of their own who would willing to pay to hunt. It would save Lady D. the expense of hiring somebody to shoot the excess number of deer down and it would bring more visitors to Sanditon, increasing the chances of success of the whole development. And she put forward the other ideas about a painting competition, sea view concerts and poetry reciting festival.

“Well your ideas are a whole lot better than what those men have come up: Tom, Sidney, Babington…. Babington wanted to introduce gambling houses here and ‘gentlemen’s clubs’, whatever they do there. He brought this man with him, Beecroft or whatever his name is, appears to own quite some enterprises near St. James Street. A most despicable man I dare say. I want to have nothing of the sort. Where is the amusement for us women? I like your ideas a whole lot better. We need to attract respectable families, not rogue gamblers, drunks and idle bachelors.”

“Beecroft?!” Charlotte exclaimed aghast “I’m sure _Sidney_ Parker would object to his involvement.”

“Do you know the man, dear?” Lady Denham asked surprised, frowning.

Charlotte recomposed herself : “Well, I have not _met_ him in person, but from what I know _of_ him, I do not regret the fact.”

Mr. Stringer looked at her with some suspicion. He had obviously recognised the name and seemed to wonder how Charlotte knew about a man who owned gambling houses and brothels.

“Well, I’ll tell Tom Parker I do not wish such types to come to Sanditon, no matter how rich they are. And we’ll go ahead with your plans instead.” Lady Denham decided.

When the rain had stopped and Mr. Stringer was about to take his leave, Allison excused herself and asked him to wait a moment in the hallway. She came down with a small, flat package. “It’s for your new house.” She said shyly, looking a little insecure.

He took a look at it and she could see his cheeks colour in the little candle light. He smiled in embarrassed amazement. “Well, Miss Allison. Thank you very much. I’m not used to looking at myself, so I can’t tell if it resembles me, but you’ve pictured me in a rather flattering way, I dare say.” He held it in his hand with hesitation. “I don’t mean to be rude and don’t think I don’t appreciate it. But I was thinking it would be ruined if it got wet in the rain now. And I’d rather have a certain young lady looking at it than me staring at myself, if you gather what I mean.”

Allison looked him in the eye, wondering which young lady he meant: “I’ll keep it here just a little while longer then.” she replied softly.

The following weeks, Charlotte continued to help Lady D. and Tom work out the ideas for the various events. Tom complained Sidney was not there to promote things in London.

“I’m sure he will when he gets back.” Charlotte reassured him: ”He’s very committed to the success of Sanditon.”

“Yes, but I don’t understand why he had a mind of travelling abroad again. He’ll have money enough to stop working when he gets married. We need him _here, in England_ to promote Sanditon amongst his friends!“ Tom replied a little agitated.

“Well, we should not put all our stakes on Sidney.” Mary interceded even more irritated than her husband. “He has his own life and business as well. I think you’re asking too much of him, Tom, from time to time.”

Charlotte tried to reassure Tom: “I can write to Lady Worcester, she’ll spread the word. And Lord Babington seems very committed.”

Another thing Charlotte made sure was resolved before her departure, was to walk along the river, to the place where the blue bells had blossomed between the trees last Spring. She stood there for a moment, closed her eyes and whispered an apology for any a fairy to hear for the disturbance of their gathering the Spring before. She asked them to forgive her and if possible her friends too, as they could not come to apologise themselves.

“You are talking in yourself, Charlotte.” Allison, who had walked ahead, remarked, looking a little worried and confounded. “Are you all right? I hope you are not losing your sanity!”

“I will be all right, I hope. ” Charlotte replied with a mysterious smile, not wishing to admit her subservience to pagan beliefs and superstitions to her sister. She took Allison’s arm, seeing all was at peace in forest and in the river. “The river…”, she said pensively, thinking of the day at the regatta and her discussion about Heraclitus with Sidney during his rowing practice and that sensual rowing lesson he had given her. She had been reading his book of Heraclitus teachings every day since he had given it to her, as she moved her fingers over the pages he had once touched himself. As if by caressing the pages of the book, she was caressing his fingers, the way he had done with hers on several occasions. “We are the river, Sidney and I” she said in herself, “opposites flowing together in the stream of life… ending up at sea. And we stepped in it together, rowing in rhythmic harmony .” It had seemed to last an eternity till Eliza had called out to Sidney and they had recollected themselves.

“What are you mumbling?” Allison interrupted her thoughts, a little agitated at Charlotte’s state of distraction, while Allison was venting her admiration of the place, the landscape and described how she would paint them.

“I’m sorry, Allison. You’re quite right about the magic of this place. I was just thinking of its symbolism, about Heraclitus’ teachings.” Charlotte explained herself. 

“Yes, I saw you reading his work. The way you’ve been holding that book, I would have thought you would take it to bed and sleep with it. Well, I’ll leave the philosophy of the river to you, I’d rather just admire its beauty. But I hope Lady Worcester does not miss the book from her library. ” Allison teased her, not having opened the book to read the ex-libris stamp on the first page. Allison giggled: “Maybe I should warn papa for a visit from a dead Greek philosopher asking for your hand.”

Charlotte just smiled humbly and walked on in silence. “Not a dead one, I hope.” she said to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone on facebook mentioned the blue bells had a mythical meaning, so I decided to give them a crucial part.


	25. Captivity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney is traveling to Lisbon and Madeira. He encounters some friends on his journey and is succesfully expanding his business. The return journey is rather perilous and Sidney feels he is being punished for his past mistakes. He gets help from a former enemy.

# 25\. Captivity

Meanwhile, Sidney sailed to Lisbon and Madeira. The voyage there was stormy, but swift. It was successful in many respects. He had made some new contacts for a new line of trade in navigation equipment and metal components for machinery. It would diversify his trade business. He had specialised in liquor and wines, but the conversation he had with Charlotte over dinner at Lady W.'s house had inspired him to take advantage of the industrial and scientific progress in his country and export its products to the continent. And from Madeira they would be shipped to the Caribbean and South America, an upcoming market. Sidney hoped it would increase his income. Not for the sake of getting richer, but because he hoped it would enhance his perspective to solve Tom’s debts without having to marry Eliza Campion. Even if Georgiana would forward the amount needed, she needed to be paid back. A new success in trade would be his ticket to a possible future with Charlotte. And during the long nights, alone in his cabin, he would pull out her letter and portrait from his pocket. Despite the metal case to protect the letter, the water stains on the paper increased. Not from the salty water of the ocean, but that of his own tears. “At least our tears have found each other.” he thought, seeing a tear spread exactly in the place where her tears had formed a stain. How great the contrast with the content of his other waist pocket. When he had parted with Eliza, apologising for his incivility to Sir Edward and his ward’s conduct, she had given him a parcel to open on his birthday at the end of November. He had opened it now and it had contained an expensive golden chain watch. It had a secret compartment that framed a miniature portrait of Eliza. For her it had been a token of her love for him. For him it was a reminder of how little time was left before he would have to see that face everyday for real.

A pleasant surprise during his journey had been that on Madeira he had encountered his friend, Mr. Crowe, who to his great surprise had had married Clara Brereton. Sidney did not need not ask why Mr. Crowe had chosen to travel so far from London, though the man seemed to despise every place outside the hustle and bustle of Britain’s capital. Mrs. Crowe’s round belly and the fact that their wedding was quite recent, left little to speculate about. Although his friend’s action seemed imprudent and merely an obligation of honour, Sidney could see their mutual affection was real. And he felt sad that he was deprived of such an alliance himself. His friends had now both married for love, and he was denied such bliss himself. Hearing about Charlotte’s involvement in their wedding, he felt melancholic. She was witness to both his friends’ weddings, but she might never be to her own with himself. How awkward she must have felt, how confronting! Sidney noticed his friend’s meaningful glances when they talked about Charlotte and her kindness towards them both and Crowe had remarked that ‘some man’ would have to make an honourable woman of this angel. And Crowe had remarked how unhappy Sidney seemed at the prospect of marrying Mrs. Campion. Sidney had not responded to his friend’s comments, had let them slide off of him.

The return trip on the other hand was dreadful. The ship was damaged in a storm on its way from Madeira to Lisbon. Two masts had been broken, one hitting the other hard while falling, and the clipper got adrift. It wandered quite far off in the direction of the African continent. It was spotted by corsairs along the Barbary coast, who had little difficulty boarding the ship. He had been taken captive, along with the other passengers and crew and their cargo. In Rabat they were thrown in a filthy dungeon. After a few days sleeping on layers of excrement, he and others were led out, washed, and oil was rubbed on their skin. Stark naked he was exposed to potential buyers in a courtyard. They made him jump and run to show his strength and stamina. And some hours later, dressed again, he was led with others in the cargo hold of another ship.

He felt defeated, angry, humiliated, and pitiful, but most of all remorseful. Too often had he witnessed others being held captive, being stripped of their dignity, their names, their relatives, subjected to the mercy of greedy men. Men he had served and traded with. Now it was his turn to be on the other side of that uneven power balance. The proprietor had become property.

Pressed with other against the hull of the ship, a chain attached to the shackles on his feet, he thought over the irony of it all. God certainly had a good sense of morbid humor. He had made money in a trade relying on slavery. And though he had never himself owned a slave, he had profited from their exploitation. And now others would profit from _his_ slave labour. Had his engagement to Eliza felt like captivity; the ordeal of marrying Eliza now seemed less fearful now. But at the same time he felt how much he longed for Charlotte. Charlotte, who had rightfully blamed him for his role in slave trade. Charlotte, sweet Charlotte, with her chastising tongue, her just analyses. Charlotte, the mirror of his soul, revealing his true self, without any flattery.

Again Sidney heard the bustle of fighting on the deck. He heard a familiar language coming from above, his _own_ language. For a moment he thought he was delirious, that he had contracted some kind of fever, but after a while he saw blue coats coming down, navy coats. Seldom had he been more relieved to see his fellow countrymen. And as the British navy officers inspected the ship and released the prisoners, Sidney heard a familiar voice and quickly looked up.

“Mr. Parker?!” Mr. Molyneux exclaimed “Is that really you?”

“Mr. Molyneux!” Sidney exclaimed, and lowered his gaze in humiliation.

“How odd I should find you here, Mr. Parker!” Mr. Molyneux continued while he was unlocking the chains around Sidney’s ankles.

“You must find this very amusing.” Sidney replied bitterly cynical

“I could never rejoice in another man’s captivity.” Mr. Molyneux replied solemnly. “Especially not of a man who has rescued the woman I dearly love and myself from ruin.” he added softly

“I’m glad you accredit me with _some_ positive qualities.” Sidney replied, still cynical.

“I apologise for misjudging you, sir…. and blackening you with some of your acquaintance.”

“You mean Miss Heywood? Don’t worry about that. I believe she sees me in a kinder light ever since that dreadful episode in London this summer.” Sidney sighed reassuringly “And I believe haven’t been entirely fair in my own judgement of yourself.”

“You have been perfectly fair, as regards the protection of Georgiana.” Otis sighed 

“But not in the sincerity of your affections.” Sidney added apologetically

“I can only blame myself for losing Georgiana.” Mr. Molyneux replied.

“Are you sure you have lost her?” Sidney asked him. Mr. Molyneux curled up his lips in a wry smile. “I gather you haven’t lost her affection.”

Mr. Molyneux looked a little caught, then recomposed himself. “I may not have lost her love, but I have lost her trust.”

“I have blackened myself before her…ironic, first just my skin was black, now it is my soul.”

“It is a strange thing about our language, that we attribute evil and sorrow to a mere colour.” Sidney mumbled

“It is a strange thing about human kind that you should translate this negative meaning to the colour of a man’s skin.” Mr. Molyneux added cynically. “Even the Arabs, though not lilywhite themselves, pay more for a white, European slave than for an dark African.” He snorted. “You are lucky in one regard, Mr. Parker.” He paused. “Unlike my fellow Africans, coming from the other side of the great desert, you would not end up slaving on somebody’s field. With your skills you might end up in somebody’s office. But more likely, they would simply ask a ransom for you and you would be free again.”

Sidney remained silent as Otis Molineux removed the shackles from his ankles and examined the wounds it had made, repressing some groans as the metal scraped his mutilated flesh. Mr. Molineux examined the wounds. “I’ll ask our physician for some ointment. It stings as hell, I know. Imagine those wounds on a five-year old boy after six weeks lying in a ship…” Mr. Molyneux mumbled despondently.

Sidney consolingly grabbed the man’s hands and looked him pitifully in the eye. “Were you that young…”he asked carefully.

Mr. Molyneux, retracting his hands with some hesitation: “Yes, my parents never had the possibility of paying a ransom for me and my elder sister, who was captured with me. But do not pity me. Pity dehumanizes people. And unlike those captured with me, I am a free man now… though as long as my brothers and sisters are still in captivity I could never entirely enjoy it.”

He raised Sidney up, whose legs felt feeble from stiffness and agonising wounds from the shackles, and supported him.

“What happened to your sister?” Sidney asked 

“I’m not sure..” Mr. Molyneux sighed. “She was not on my ship… I’m not sure she ended up on a ship at all.”

“Did she…” Sidney stopped his sentence.

“Die?” Mr. Molyneux scoffed.

“ I’m not sure…I was very young and all I heard from the other women on board, who had been in her dungeon, was that she had escaped the journey…when I was older I was told the women in some of these fortresses would be gathered in the courtyard every day to be viewed by the white officers who stood on the walls above them. Some of the most beautiful young girls would be summoned to climb the ladder and accompany these men.” He shuddered “And if after some months they appeared to be with child, they were set free…”

Sidney, feeling ashamed of his own kind could not utter a word while Mr. Molyneux supported him up the stairs to the main deck: “Here you go, Mr. Parker, our physician will examine you now”

Before Mr. Molyneux could turn away, Sidney clutched his arm: “ I’m sorry for all the injustice my race has caused yours.”

Mr. Molyneux looked him in the eye: “It was one of my fellow Africans who captured me and sold me to the people who shipped me to the Caribbean; it was a white man who set me free…the problem is that your kind believes you are a different race, but we’re all humans, the good and the bad. And that thinking about race has led some of your kind to believe my kind cannot be your equals…that you must govern us, because of the colour of our skin.”

Sidney nodded and thought of what he should reply, but he was interrupted by another Marine: “let me rescue you from that dreary Molyneux , sir.” The man commented while rolling his eyes: “Before he bores you to death with one of his pious sermons.”

“I need no rescue from Mr. Molyneux .” Sidney replied, forcing a smile.

“You know him then ?” the other asked rhetorically. “Well, then you must know there’s no fun to be had with him… well besides making fun _of_ him.” he added snickering.

“Why so?” Sidney asked bemused

“Doesn’t roll a dice, won’t hold a stack of cards…endless rambles about gambling as a sin, singing depressing ballads about a girl named Georgiana, how he’s lost her…as if any wench deserves such praise.”

“Carefull! “Sidney growled “Do not talk of her in that way…”

“You’re her lover too then… I already had the impression you and Mr. Molyneux were rivals…Well, you’ll have a better chance convincing her guardian, considering Mr. Molyneux is…”

“Is what?!” Sidney angrily interrupted him. “You think the man’s colour has anything to do with her guardian’s dissent?”

“Well, I was going for lack of wealth…and dreariness…”the other replied dryly. “Well, here’s our physician to see you.”

A grey-haired man was walking round the deck, attending all the liberated prisoners, and applying some ointment on the men’s wounds. Sidney saw them scream in agony. The doctor looked at him, examined him: “Well you seem to have little more injuries than some bruises and wounds from your shackles. Just clench you teeth for moment, so you don’t accidentally bite off your own tongue. This tonic stings a little, but it prevents festering …” Sidney followed his instructions and indeed, he felt the stinging substance as if it were cutting right through his flesh to the bone and let out a cry.

Quite soon the deck crowded with freed men. The captain of the frigate that had intercepted them, made a round of inquiries and the liberated captives were told they would sail the ship to Gibraltar. Anybody able was required to help with the oars, as the corsairs still relied on galley ships, help hoist the sails, while the quartermaster and some marines would steer the ship. The captain apologised for the sleeping arrangements, as the cabins had been assigned to the few liberated ladies and the bunks were taken by some high rank officers. The rest, the marines and the liberated men alike, would have to sleep on the wooden boards of the middle deck.

Otis Molyneux was one of the marines assigned to the confiscated ship, so Sidney had some more chance to watch his ward’s lover. He watched how Mr. Molyneux’s comrades ridiculed him for declining a game of cards and sighed with a deliberately load groan, as he opened his Bible and read out load. Sidney was concerned this might be an act to deceive him, but after several days he could find no fault in Mr. Molyneux’s conduct. The reports of the other marines were consistent. And as the ship moored in Gibraltar, Mr. Molyneux handed Sidney twenty-five pounds: “it is only a small part of the sum I owe you, Mr. Parker, but it is what I own and it will get you home…”Mr. Molyneux said apologetically. “And I hope you do not consider me too presumptuous when I ask you to convey my best regards to Miss Lambe.”

Sidney looked him in the eye and replied in all earnest: “Indeed, but you may write to her yourself. And you may even renew your proposal. And if, I repeat _if,_ on my return in Portsmouth I should find a favourable report on your conduct from others than your crewmates or the lady herself, I will convey her your letter first thing. And with your permission and hers, I’ll take the liberty to have your bans called at your parish churches before you return ashore, so you may marry without delay when you set foot ashore…” Mr. Molyneux ’s face lit up, but Sidney continued: “But I must warn you that Miss Lambe wishes to relinquish most of her fortune if she marries you, so if your motive be wealth, it is of no purpose…and if I hear that your old pernicious habits are still beyond your control, I’ll save her the pain of reading your letter…”

Mr. Molyneux did not budge at these warnings. “I am confident sir, you will hear no evil about my conduct. And as for fortune, the lady is all I desire…. I am my own man, and in service of the navy I make little income, but sufficient and my greatest reward lies in stopping the trafficking of humans as if they were beasts.”

“Very well. “Sidney replied “Then enlighten me when you will next time be in England, so we might set a date for your wedding.”

Mr. Molyneux, repressing his excitement, expressed that he would return to Portsmouth in before the second half of February. They shook hands, after which Sidney found himself a hotel, and wrote some letters to Eliza, his friends and his brothers that he was stranded in Gibraltar and would return to England with a month’s delay.

Sidney went to see an agent of his insurance company, has he had lost everything apart from the clothes he had been wearing. The material losses, he could overcome, but from his pockets the privateers had not only take his money and the golden chain-watch Eliza had given him, but also the metal case that held that precious tear-stained letter from Charlotte and her portrait. Luckily, that evening there was a knock on his door. It was Mr. Molyneux . “Excuse me, sir, I have come to bring you the letter you suggested I’d write. Sidney took the sealed letter and saw Mr. Molyneux hesitate. Sidney looked at him inquisitively.

“I have something else for you, that you might be glad to have returned…”Mr. Molineux spoke carefully. “I believe this belongs to you… my captain found it in the ship’s quarters. I believe the corsairs kept it as a means to ask your family for ransom.” From his pocket he drew two crumpled pieces of paper and Sidney’s eyes became red and dewy when he saw what it was.

Mr. Molyneux hesitated. “I fear I have read some of the lines…” he said apologetically. “I know what it is to long for a woman that is forbidden to you…” he started. Sidney looked at his feet. “I’m not here to ask for your pity sir, just to offer my sympathy. My pain is my own fault, I gather yours was induced by others. I can only admire you for choosing your family’s happiness over your own. Knowing Miss Heywood, I know how big your loss is.”

Sidney looked at him in pain and asked Mr. Molyneux to come in. “Come have a drink with me.” he asked. Mr. Molyneux scrupled to accept the invitation. “Thank you.” he said “But as you may know by now, I do not drink, not anymore. I do not wish to offend you, but drinking causes unruliness in me, and that unruliness has caused me too much…”

Sidney smiled a little uncomfortable. “I shall order tea then.” he suggested and Mr. Molyneux accepted. They talked all evening, Sidney admitting his own past mistakes were not very different from the ones Mr. Molyneux made. He told the story about Eliza, about Charlotte, the horrible fire at Sanditon and why he had to sacrifice his and Charlotte’s love for each other. Mr. Molyneux asked him why he hadn’t used Georgiana’s money, after all as her only guardian, he had access to it. “Do you really think me that evil?” Sidney blurted out. “That I would rob Georgiana of her money?”

“I am sure Georgiana would give it to you if she would believe it to be vital to her friend’s happiness.” Mr. Molyneux replied quietly. Sidney merely smiled, but kept tongue-tied on the offer Georgiana had made, and its condition. He didn’t want more pressure on his decision regarding to consent to a marriage between Otis Molyneux and Georgiana. The two men parted as friends, realising they were more alike than they ever would have admitted before.

Lying in bed, Sidney read over the crumpled note again, stared at her portrait and for the first time filled with hope that he could see Charlotte again and offer her what she wished for.

The next day was the day before Christmas, and as few ships were departing during the holiday, Sidney remained stuck in Gibraltar. Mr. Molyneux convinced him to attend mass in church. Sidney realised he hadn’t worshipped his God in more than a decade. He had only set foot inside a church for weddings or funerals and both he avoided as much as possible. Mary had invited him to join them for Christmas every year, but he had always managed to avoid this confrontation with happy family gatherings and spent his Christmasses in the pubs and gambling rooms of faraway places, or in the arms of women as lonely as himself. Sitting in the church bench, seeing the light come from the windows, hearing the choir sing, a certain consoling peace came over him. Perhaps Providence had better times for him in store. The past decade had been a bitter one for him and the world, full of war and grief. Perhaps the new decade would be better.

In an attempt to mend his business affairs, he hoped to get a passage to Lisbon after new year. Though he had little money on him, he hoped he had gained enough trustworthiness in the eyes of his business associates there to trade on the basis of a mere _promesse_. But he had to relinquish that plan, as the new year, the new a new decade, ignited the liberal revolution in Spain and reports went round that it is was spreading into Portugal. And he was advised to avoid the rest of the Iberian peninsula. So a few days after New Year he boarded a navy frigate on its way to Portsmouth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to show that many peoples, not only Europeans, engaged in slave trade, yet there was racism in the way slaves were treated and in who was liberated. Many African communities enslaved other peoples and had slaves (and some still have although officially forbidden!), but their treatment of them was usually not as harsh as what awaited African slaves in the European Colononies. Slavery took a whole different dimension when Europeans deported Africans to their colonies, in scale and in the harshness of their treatment. 
> 
> (The word 'slave' comes from 'slavic' as the Vikings raided many Slavic villages and sold the people in the Middle East in the tenth century; something I learnt from Peter Frankopan's Book 'the Silk Roads' which quite nicely gives a history of all major trade routes in history.) 
> 
> I based Otis' story of how his sister might have escaped on what I learnt during my visit to Elmina Castle in Ghana, one of the fortresses my Dutch ancestors used to transport enslaved Africans from. Few of my fellow country(wo)men are familiar with its history and the horrors that were inflicted there. Some of which are to disgusting to include in a romantic story...


	26. Christmas in Willingden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Allison travel home to Willingden in the company of their brother and Mr. Stringer. Mr. Heywood gives Charlotte advice on her choice of marriage partner. A Christmas present is awaiting Charlotte.

# 26\. Christmas in Willingden

Meanwhile, after three weeks in Sanditon, Charlotte and Allison mounted the coach with James Stringer. William had travelled with Arthur Parker from London the day before and joined to escort them. Charlotte stared out the window and closed her eyes as much as possible, uncomfortable with James Stringer sitting opposite of her, making it difficult to avoid eye contact. She pretended to sleep, but overheard Allison's nervous attempts to talk with Mr. Stringer instead, describing al the delicious things that would await them at Christmas dinner and the beauty of their little hamlet. William obliged her by playfully pointing out that Allison's piano performances and singing were the holiday's highlight. The journey took long. It had snowed the week before and it had made the roads muddy. The coach got stuck and it took a while to free it. When they finally went over the bridge that led to their small estate late in the afternoon, Charlotte was relieved to see the big half-timbered manor house and her parents and siblings crawling ou.

It was Allison who enthusiastically introduced Mr. Stringer to their parents, looking quite flushed. James Stringer was shown into the guest room, and although the old Elizabethan house was not as grand and modern as Lady Worcester’s or Lady Denham’s, he still felt humbled at its sheer size. But the unpretending warmth and merriness of the large Heywood family made him feel very much at home quite quickly. The smaller Heywood siblings were quick to harass him with requests for games and asking him many questions, among which the question if he was going to marry one of their sisters. He laughed a little embarrassed and merely stated that they would be the first to know if it were the case, glancing at Charlotte. 

Just before dinner, Mr. Heywood asked Charlotte to come in his study for a moment. He asked her after her time in London and Sanditon. Charlotte told him it had been a great adventure, they had seen and learnt much in London and she was happy to have again helped out in the saviour of Sanditon Town. “Now” Mr. Heywood started. “I gather this young Mr. Stringer is playing a big part in that development.”

“Yes, papa, he is in fact the designer, though formally he is only the foreman, but he’s had offers for apprenticeships in London and has even been commissioned some buildings already with some important people in London. He is very talented and has great prospects.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it.” Mr. Heywood replied. “Because William thought he might be a suitable marriage candidate for one of you.” Charlotte looked at her feet, a little embarrassed. “Has he proposed to you?” Mr. Heywood asked her straightforward.

“Not in so many words, no.” Charlotte said decidedly.

“What do you mean? Charlotte, has he or has he not?”

“Well, he’s hinted at asking me an important question during his stay here.” she replied reluctantly.

“You don’t look very enthusiastic about it.” Mr. Heywood remarked. “Don’t you like him?”

“I _like_ him,papa , he’s been a good friend to me, he is kind, he would never hurt me…”

“But you’re feelings are not running away with you?” her father filled in the blanks. “Well, whatever you choose, know that you might not get another proposal for marriage, not that I don’t think you the most accomplished and valuable young woman in the world, but that is the way it works in the world. In any case, if it’s his background you worry about, I can see he _behaves_ as a gentleman and if he can provide for you, he has my approval to marry one of you.”

“Thank you, papa, that is very reassuring.” Charlotte replied humbly and was ready to turn away and leave the room again.

“Just another piece of advice, Charlotte” Her father said tenderly while grabbing her gently by the shoulders to force her to look at him. “Just in case you should get an offer of marriage, from Mr. Stringer or someone else. There can be several men who court you, but as I said, a proposal of marriage may only come once in a life-time. If you decline, you cannot be certain another will come.” Charlotte nodded. “But whatever choice you make, make sure that whoever it is you accept, that he has a good character, is sensible, that you will get along for a long time. Because in these days of speculation, of industry, a poor man may gain riches and rise far above his station, while a rich man may lose everything he owns. Wealth may come and go, good looks whither over time, it’s character and affection that stays.”

“A man’s character is his fate...”Charlotte mumbled.

“Indeed, Charlotte, I believe Heraclitus was right.”

Charlotte smiled and felt melancholic: “Were she and Sidney unhappy because it was in their character? Were they apart because it was in their character to choose for other people’s well-being?’’ she asked herself.

“You look quite pensive, dear.” Her father remarked, raising his eyebrows.

Charlotte shrugged her shoulders and merely responded: “You know I could never accept a man for wealth alone, papa, and that I have few demands regarding comfort.”

“Indeed, you will not be difficult to maintain.” Mr. Heywood smiled. “It may be difficult to satisfy your intelligence and conscience, but not your material needs.” Charlotte chuckled thinking of her conversation with Lady D. “Good to see you laugh again, Charlotte. Something you can share with me?” her father asked curiously.

“It’s no secret, papa. It just that Lady Denham rather advised the opposite. Her philosophy is that a woman should marry a man as rich as possible. In her view, love whithers over time and then you may better have a house large enough to avoid the other….”Charlotte explained, adding with a suppressed giggle: “And if you have an independent mind, you preferably marry one that is old and feeble, to become a rich widow within short time and be free to do as one pleases.”

Mr. Heywood looked a little shocked and then laughed. “Well, there is something to be said for that as well, but I doubt it would work for you… At least I hope you will not marry a man with the idea of putting him in the grave as fast as possible.”

“Indeed, papa, I will not.” She reassured him.

“Now, something else, Charlotte.” Mr. Heywood started “A package arrived for you here a few days ago. It’s quite a heavy box. I cannot find out who sent it, other than a shop for naval equipment in Portsmouth…. I thought you would want a little privacy opening it... And if its something expensive..., well, I wouldn't want the others to get jealous. It's not from Lady Worcester, she sent quite a load of presents for all of us, so it must come from someone else.” He left her alone in the room."

Charlotte looked surprised and she was curious. She wondered if it was from Georgiana, who had just moved to that town. She unwrapped the paper. It contained a mahogany box which she opened and inside she saw a small brass Dolland telescope, decorated with shagreen and ivory. Her face lit up, while her eyes became moist at the same time. She took the telescope from its box. She saw a small note, tucked in the side of the box. She did not recognise the handwriting and there was no sender mentioned. But the lines written told her enough:

_For the most visionary woman in the world,_

_whose eyes only can probe the layers of my heart and my soul_

_and whose warmth melts my armour like butter._

_(my dearest, dearest Charlotte),_

_May your eyes always twinkle as brightly as the stars you observe._

_No matter how far away you are, you will always be close to my heart._

_And I will always search the horizon for thee._

She sat for a while, simply staring at the box and the words on the note before her, tears in her eyes; of joy or grief, she couldn’t tell herself. She heard a knock on the door, it was her father again, asking whether she was still going to join them for dinner. She nodded. He came to stand next to her and looked in the box. “Well, most men send jewelry, hairlocks or books of poetry, but I’ve never heard of a suitor sending a telescope. I wonder at its meaning...does he mean you should stand on the lookout?” he wondered, with an amused frown. Charlotte merely smiled in silence. The gift seemed more of a goodbye present than a promise, but she would treasure it.


	27. Sidney’s relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney arrives back in England. A few letters await him at the Port Office. Georgiana tells him Mr. Stringer had plans for proposing to Charlotte at Christmas, but does not know Charlotte's answer. Sidney and Georgiana head for London to arrange the financial part of their deal. Sidney goes to see Eliza to get her to break off the engagement. Eliza tells him Charlotte is about to marry Mr. Stringer. Sidney rushes to Willingden to stop the wedding, but will he get there in time?

# 27\. Sidney’s relief

Almost two weeks after new year, on Thursday the thirteenth, Sidney arrived back in England. Back on shore in Portsmouth, his old friend Captain Rogers, who had been making inquiries in the port, had a favourable report on Mr. Molyneux that coincided with Sidney’s own improved opinion of the man. There were a few letters waiting for Sidney in the port office, but none with the feminine handwriting he had hoped to see. The little tear-stained note she had sent him in London to bid him farewell, was still in his coat-pocket, wrinkled and worn out. He had studied every curl of every letter, smelled the salinized scent of the tear-stains, even though it only increased his agony to do so. But the familiar curls of her calligraphy were not to be seen on the letters waiting for him.

There was a letter from Tom with a report on the progress of the plans for Sanditon, a financial plan and a lot of ideas for entertainment to attract more visitors. Another came from Mary, disclosing Charlotte’s role in the developments and ideas for entertainment and a wish to see him happy in the new decade. The third was from Lord Babington and the other from Mrs. Campion. He opened Lord Babington’s first. His friend urged him to see him at once when he was back in England. Apart from a line asking Sidney whether he knew more about Mr. Crowe’s marriage with Miss Brereton, Lord Babington described the scene he had witnessed at Mrs. Campion’s house, and ‘questioned her loyalty and commitment to their upcoming nuptials’. Then there was Mrs. Campion’s letter stating that if Babington had written him, he should ignore the content because the man was ‘exaggerating’ and misinterpreting events. When he read the letters, Sidney understood their meaning exactly. Even if nothing serious had been going on, he now had reason to end his engagement if he wanted to. He wondered if Lord Babington had been exaggerating what he witnessed merely to give his friend cause to reject Mrs. Campion. But knowing Lord Babington for the gentleman that he was, he doubted things were made up. And Eliza’s letter implied that there was something she would rather cover up. Evidently she had been receiving Sir Edward Denham quite frequently at her house, so she could not claim there was no cause for him, Sidney, to be suspicious.

Sidney then quickly went to see Georgiana in the new school he had sent her to. He told Georgiana of his adventures, his saviour by Otis Molineux and his renewed impression of the man. He gave her Mr. Molyneux’ letter and told her he would now consent to her marriage with Otis Molyneux if she still desired him. Georgiana was ecstatic with joy, but also in a quite vindictive mood. “So Sidney, you have experienced the weight of the shackles yourself now. If not for Charlotte’s sake I almost regret they didn’t make you a eunuch. “she snickered. 

“Georgiana!” Sidney reacted in shock.

“Why, can’t you appreciate a little joke!” Georgiana smiled triumphantly.

“I cannot tolerate such unladylike behaviour!” Sidney replied agitatedly. “To talk of…” he couldn’t finish his sentence.

“To talk of the things men like you and my father would discuss in my presence you mean, when talking about the treatment of slaves…”Georgiana said grimacing.

“Indeed, you have witnessed and heard far too many things than a lady ever should.” Sidney sighed. “But as I regard Mr. Molyneux a respectable man and a friend now, I could not bless his marriage unless it is with a lady of virtue and good manners. He has earned my esteem, now it is your turn to do that as well.”

She smiled indignantly: “You forget you depend on me for your ticket to happiness.”

“You forget I will not relinquish my principles…” Sidney retorted, forcing a smile.

“Well, let’s bury the hatchet then.” Georgiana replied a little more humble. “Let me rephrase: I am glad you returned in one piece and with a more positive attitude towards my suitor and I hope both of us will soon enter a happy marriage.”

“Well thank you, Miss Lambe!” Sidney replied pleased, forcing a smile. “Well, if you have made up your mind, I would like to escort you to your parish church and that of Mr. Molyneux to announce your wedding, which, God willing, can take place in a month. And then I will take you to London to settle our financial agreement and you may order your wedding clothes.”

Georgiana jumped up in delight, and on seeing Sidney’s eyebrows raising, recomposed herself to express her joy more elegantly.

“I see your new school has positively affected your manners.” he responded playfully pleased.

“It is not the school, it is the prospect of happiness that achieves this change in me. ” Georgiana replied with a smirk.

They set of to find her parish priest and while they walked there, Georgiana urged Sidney to go to London at once and end his engagement with the proof he now had of doubts to Mrs. Campion’s virtues and see Charlotte immediately. She told him what Charlotte had written of Mr. Stringer’s intended proposal and that she did not know what her friend had decided. She feared Charlotte had missed her letters or that Charlotte’s letters had not reached Portsmouth. Sidney realised he had to move fast. Despite his fatigue, he didn’t stay the night in Portsmouth, but set off immediately with Georgiana and her lady’s maid, Crockett, as soon as the wedding had been arranged, on a post chase to London, although it was already getting dark.

As soon as they arrived at Bedford Place in the morning and had changed their clothes, Georgiana went with Sidney to the bank to pay his loan. She had a contract drawn up, stating that Sidney owed her fifty thousand pounds if he would not let her wed Mr. Otis Molyneux within six months. (The rest of the needed eighty thousand pounds being covered by other investors). And they worked out a scheme on the returns on her investment. It had cost them the entire day to negotiate everything and satisfy the bank and his solicitor that Sidney was not robbing his ward.

After the long day, Sidney went to see Mrs. Campion, who was quite appalled to receive him after dinnertime, unannounced, and not adequately dressed and trimmed.

“Sidney, what a surprise! she said. “You must have been in quite a rush to see me. Good heavens! you look positively savage. You urgently need a haircut and trimming of your side burns!”

“Well, if my looks are disagreeable to you, remember you are free to end our engagement.” he said cynically, smirking.

“Sidney, silly, what are you joking? I will easily forgive a little wildness on your side, I’m sure we can mend that once we’re married.” She smiled a little bemused at his rather hostile greeting.

“Yes, that may be.” he said sternly “ There are other things we cannot mend however and that is trust.” He looked at her, frowning.

“What do you mean, Sidney? Have you not received my letter?” she replied, panicking.

“Yes, and Lord Babington’s.” he said with some anger in his voice.

“Do not tell me you believe his accusations? Dear, do you really want to accuse me of some impropriety based on a misunderstanding from his side?”

“Is it a misunderstanding that Sir Edward Denham has been visiting you on a daily basis while I was abroad?” he sneered.

“Well, no, but he was merely helping with the preparations for our wedding. Nothing more, you must believe me.” she stammered.

“Believe you? I remember I once before believed we were getting married and you denied the attentions of another man meant anything.” he stated bitterly. “And a few months later you were married that other man…you did not even have the decency to tell me to my face. All you did was send me that cold short note…how should I trust you now, Eliza? I’d be a fool to continue with you. But I am giving you a chance to save your own honour.” 

She stared at him wounded and with disbelief. “I know I should have told you in person at the time, but I was afraid that if I did, I would not be able to go through with it. I’m not as cold and unfeeling as you picture me, Sidney. And do you really want me to end our engagement after the eighty thousand pounds you lent on the basis of our upcoming nuptials?”

“Don’t worry about me.” he said dryly. “There are others who have provided me with those means.” She looked at him is shock, realising that she had lost her power over him.

“Eliza, _why_ do you want to marry me?” he asked her, softening down his voice.

“Because I love you and have done so for almost fifteen years.” she said, looking baffled at the question.

“Do you really?” he asked her in al earnest “Do you really love me?”

“Sidney, why should you doubt it?” she asked confused.

“Do you care about _my happiness_ , or do you just want to _possess_ me? ”he asked with agitated voice.

“Why, Sidney! What sort of question is that?” she exclaimed.

“I’m unhappy Eliza… I must confess I no longer love you …and I do not believe I can make _you_ happy either.” He said in a calmer tone.

“Why Sidney, what has happened? I thought you loved me just as I love you” she responded emotionally.

“For many years I had hoped to have a chance at happiness with you.” he said softly. “But we are not the same people as we were more than ten years ago. We do not want the same things anymore. And now I hear reports that there is something going on between you and Sir Edward and I wonder whether you like him better than you like me.” he looked her in the eye.

“Of course not.” she replied offended.

“Do you really take me for a fool, Eliza? You just admitted the man has been coming here nearly every day while I was away.”

“Well is it so strange that I should appreciate a bit of attention and consideration for all the effort I’ve put in organising our wedding? And who are you to accuse me? You’ve hardly paid me any attention yourself and don’t think me blind of your obsession with that Heywood girl.” She snapped at him.

He closed his eyes and sighed. “I admit having feelings, strong feelings, for Miss Heywood. I do not deny that.” he said “And however I’ve tried to forget about her, I can’t. Eliza, truly you don’t want to marry a man who is in love with someone else. You deserve someone who returns your affections.” He looked at her with pity.

“Oh” she replied, a little bewildered “So why did you propose in first place? I knew that your family was in financial trouble and that I might help. But I at least believed there to be a long-lasting affection from your side.”

He could hear the pain in her voice. “I’m sorry, Eliza. For a short while I thought so too.” He said apologetically. “And when I came to see you after the regatta and asked you for an investment, you made it clear I only needed to ask a simple question and your entire fortune would be mine. I had no plans to propose, but you more or less forced me.”

“ I thought I was merely removing your doubts, then. Surely you had considered it the week before the regatta.” She argued

“I admit I considered the possibility when I saw you again after these ten years, but I had doubts and I would never have engaged myself to you again if it wasn’t to help out Tom and his family.”

“So now you don’t need my money anymore you’re asking me to end our engagement? And accuse me of infidelity to get your way?” she asked angry and hurt “So you can marry this flirt of a girl?”

“Please, do not speak so condescendingly about Miss Heywood!” he hissed “Please treat her with the same respect as she treats you.”

“There is nothing respectful in seducing a man who is engaged to someone else!” Eliza retorted with contempt.

“Do not blame Charlotte, for it is I who have sought her company. And she has reprimanded me for it. She told me to honour my engagement to you and try to make you happy.” he said softly and sighed. “But I find I am not equal to the task. You deserve happiness in marriage, Eliza, and I’m afraid I cannot give you that. It is better that you end it, Eliza, and I hope you find happiness with someone else.” He pleaded.

“No, Sidney, I believe we can get past this. We have a long history together and marriage is always hard work. There will always be distractions, attractions to other people, short flings. We can make it work if we both try.” She stated firmly.

“Eliza, my love for Charlotte is not a fling. She is the first woman who has been able to reach and mend my heart ever since you crushed it ten years ago. I have been a bitter man, I have tried to numb every feeling I had inside of me in an attempt to forget you. She, and she _only_ has revived me.” he said, raising his voice.

“You still blame me for marrying Mr. Campion ten years ago for his money, do you?” she said with a trembling, bitter voice. “Even though you were doing exactly the same in engaging yourself to me this summer... I had little choice then. My parents pressured me. If I had gone against their wishes and married you, they would have thrown me out without a penny. Maybe we could have run off to Scotland and wed there, but you hardly had a pound to your name then.. your father left you with very little and with your brother as a guardian… your brother’s speculations, my father predicted his downfall. And my parents themselves were facing financial difficulties after a few of my father’s ships had lost his cargo in a storm. It would have been very foolish…So I married Mr. Campion, endured my life with him while hoping that eventually the two of us could be together again someday. He was old, I had expected him to pass away quick enough. He was kind at first, I thought I would be comfortable enough even though he was three times my age. Little did I know of what it means to be married to a man and be his property. When he came to my bed on the wedding night and I learnt what was expected of me, I cringed. And when he crawled on top of me at night, I endured it, imaging it was you. He knew that, and he punished me, hurt me. So when he died after a long sick bed, I wasted no time returning to England and find you. When I heard you were at Mrs. Maudsley’s rout, I hurried myself to get there. And when I saw you dancing with that Heywood girl, how you looked at her, it broke my heart. But you came to me as soon as you saw me. I knew our bond was not broken, whatever distractions of others…I can see why you are endeared by such sweet youth and naivety as Miss Heywood’s…, but marriage takes more than just than that. Youth and innocence whither, you know. It takes maturity, responsibility, commitment to make a marriage successful.”

“Eliza, we were both very young then and maybe indeed not very mature. I am sorry your parents pressured you and Mr. Campion hurt you. I regret you hoped for a reunion with me and that I never allowed any other woman access to my heart for ten years... until I met Charlotte. Don’t underestimate her. Believe me, I’ve made _that_ mistake. Yes, she’s young, but she’s the most mature woman I know and she knows how to correct me. The beauty of her youth may indeed whither, but not the beauty of her mind and I’m more than willing to submit myself to her powers. I admit when I saw you again after ten years, I was confused about my feelings. I’m sorry if I have led you to believe my ardour to had survived those many years apart, but I soon realised it had extinguished. That the people we once were no longer existed, neither the love of that boy for that girl. To be honest, after the regatta when I stayed in Sanditon, I realised my heart belonged to someone else. I was offering it to her and had not that awful fire destroyed Tom’s project and left my family in financial ruin, I would have engaged myself to Miss Heywood. But I needed your financial help, for which I am grateful, and you made it quite clear what you expected in return. You required I sell myself to you. But now I am able to release myself from your leash… Again, I am sorry your marriage to Mr. Campion was an unhappy one. Al the more reason not to enter another unhappy marriage. You endured your marriage, hoping for his death to part you soon enough. If we were to go ahead with this marriage, I would feel exact the same thing. Endurance, waiting for the opportunity to reunite with my great love. You don’t deserve that, Eliza, you must see I can’t make you happy…To spare your good name it is best you revoke our engagement. Tell people your feelings have altered or that you believed our match imprudent considering my family’s situation, doubts about my character, whatever… I don’t mind if you discredit me to save your own reputation as long as you do not slander Miss Heywood.”

She stared at him with disbelief and disgust.

He continued, warning her: “But should you insist on my marrying you, I remind you of your liaison with Sir Edward. It is enough to put an end to our engagement myself. But I would have to accuse you publicly, your good name dragged through the mud…” Then he softened his voice, adding more tenderly: “I wish to spare you that humiliation…”

She sat down and cried in astonishment.

“I’m sorry EIiza, I think it is best for both of us. I hope you will find true happiness with someone else. Maybe Sir Edward can make you happy. I don’t like the man and I should warn you is quite a libertine, seducing almost every woman he comes across. But you seem to enjoy his company very much and he can give you a title. I know that would make you very happy.” He said in all sincerity.

“Well maybe I just will! After laying with a man who disgusted me for five years and was impotent for five more, a handsome, courtious man like Edward Denham is quite a relief. And don’t be sanctimonious, as if you have never laid with another woman yourself! Sir Edward is a lot more gentlemanlike than you! He warned me about your character, your intentions! Your aggressive behaviour! I was blind to it, but now I see you would be just as abusive as Mr. Campion! Just go and never come back!” she hissed.

Sidney bowed: “Farewell Eliza, I wish you every happiness.”

“Well, I wish you happiness too.” She said with pain in her voice, resigning a bit more in the outcome of their discussion. She hesitated before she continued: “But if you believe you’re going to find it with Miss Heywood…well, I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed at her constancy and honesty. She doesn’t love you back as much as you love her. She had some more cards in her hand and has moved on… in fact she about to wed Mr. Stringer.”

“What do you mean?” he asked her, rather alarmed.

“Well, I got a note from Mr. Stringer apologising that next week he could not work on a commission I gave him, because he was off to Willingden to marry a Miss Heywood this Saturday.” She told it cold and bitter.

“But that is tomorrow!” Sidney exclaimed. He quickly ran out of the house. He rushed home to have his horse saddled while trying to remember Tom’s description of how to get to Willingden. His housekeeper, Mrs. Jenkins, quickly had some sandwiches made for him. Sidney quickly put on his riding clothes, apologised to Georgiana for leaving her alone with the servants and set off. It was some sixty miles, he estimated, he should be able to make it there before morning if he rode on horseback. Using a carriage was too great a risk as many roads were damaged due to the melting snow. On horseback he would be faster. But the road was muddy with melting snow, it was dark, he could not ride as fast as he wished. His horse slipped and he fell in the mud. In its fall his horse had lost a shoe, and he had to walk for some time with the reigns in his hands before finding a black smith in the early morning who could replace the shoe. He had to ask for directions a few times, and rode to the wrong village of Willingden first. It all cost him many hours delay.

When reaching the parish church of Willingden the following morning after nine, he asked one of the villagers if he had reached the village of Willingden where the Heywood family lived and where Stringer wedding would take place. “Oh, you are too late, sir, the ceremony was but half an hour ago. They’ve all gone to the Heywood House to celebrate.”

Sidney felt the blood draining out of his head. He stepped down his horse, feeling forlorn.

“You’ve been riding quite fast, sir, and your horse seems very worn out. Shall I take care of her? Then I can take you to the Heywood House, if you like” the man offered friendly.

Sidney, quite distracted, nodded. “Yes, please take care of my horse, I’ve quite run her down. I’ll just go inside church for a moment.” He spoke softly, quite out of breath. Inside, he sat himself down in front of the altar, looking up at the cross, angrily. “Is this my punishment, Lord?” he asked “Am I in hell already?” He started sobbing.

After some time, the church door opened with a squeak. Sidney recomposed himself. An older gentleman entered with the vicar. “Good day sir!” he said. “I was told there was a gentleman here, who had been riding in quite haste to inquire about my daughter’s wedding.” Sidney, looking up at the friendly man, nodded. “You must be Mr. Heywood then.” he said. “Congratulations. You’ve gained yourself a fine son-in-law.”

”Well, thank you sir. I gather you are acquainted with the couple?” Mr. Heywood asked with some curiosity.

“Indeed I am, sir.” Sidney sighed

“My I have your name please?” Mr. Heywood reminded Sidney he hadn’t introduced himself.

“I apologise for my manners, sir, my name is Sidney Parker, brother of Tom Parker with whom Miss Heywood stayed last summer.” He answered solemnly, while looking rather depressed.

“Ah, you’re the brother that is to be married this Spring to Mrs. Campion, if I’m right? Your brother, who is here too, has been quite eloquent about the upcoming event.” Mr. Heywood replied, looking rather pleased to meet with Sidney.

“I was, sir, but the lady in question has changed her mind.” Sidney said solemnly.

“Ah, I see, well you may find your chance at happiness once more… you are here for the Stringer wedding, you say? Why don’t you come to the house for its celebration?” Mr. Heywood asked bemused.

“Well, as you can see, sir, I’m not really fit to attend a wedding celebration right now.” Sidney apologised, pointing out his wet, muddy clothes, and his overall slovenly appearance.

“Well, I’m sure we can fix you up in a moment.” Mr. Heywood smiled.

“Thank you sir. But even if I were properly dressed, I would rather stay here for a while. I’m not in a very festive mood right now. I do not want to spoil the celebrations.”

“If you insist, sir, but may I ask why you came all this way if not to celebrate the wedding with us.” Mr. Heywood asked, looking a bit puzzled and concerned.

“Well I had a question for the bride sir. But it is irrelevant now… Thank you for the invitation, but I fear my presence will not contribute to the festivities. Maybe it’s best if the couple don’t know I’m here. You may tell them I wish them every happiness sometime later… But maybe you can ask my sister-in-law, Mary, I believe she’s here, to come here, I could very much use her consolation right now.… if you’ll excuse me, I’ll have a little conversation with God in your church meanwhile.” he said, his voice sad, bitter and defeated. He looked up at the Cross with reddened eyes.

Mr. Heywood, looking at him with understanding, smiled and said:

“Well, all right, but please let me have you delivered some breakfast after a long journey...and some dry clothes.”

“That is very kind of you, sir.” Sidney replied, forcing a faint smile.

Mr. Heywood left, his brother John, the vicar, offered his spiritual guidance, but Sidney expressed a wish to be alone with God, so vicar John Heywood retreated: “I’ll be next door, sir, in the rectory, if you need me.” he said.

Back inside the house, where the wedding breakfast was about to be served, Mr. Heywood approached Charlotte. “My dear, could you do me a favour? There’s a gentleman resting in the parish church who could use some refreshment and dry clothes, but he doesn’t want to come inside the house, afraid to disturb our celebrations. Could you take him some breakfast?”

“Why I, father? Can’t Betsy take it to him?” turning her gaze to the maid “We’re just about to cut the cake.”

“Well, this man seems to have some injury, broken something, I gather he’s fallen with his horse, and your nursing skills are the best in this household, so do me the favour and look after this man, we’ll cut the cake when you’re back, the celebration will only be the bigger for it.” He said somewhat mysteriously.

Charlotte took a basket and loaded it with a small teapot and cup, some bread, eggs and butter. Some clean men’s clothes were put on top of the lid. She put on her boots to struggle through the slushy path.

Mrs. Heywood suggested her cousin Roger assist and accompany her, but Mr. Heywood gestured his disagreement. “Trust me, dear.” he whispered to his wife, “Sending Roger along is not good idea and John is in church as well, so Charlotte will not be alone with this gentleman.”

Charlotte sauntered her way through the mud, her thoughts wandering off from the festive activities indoors. It was something she had heard Tom whisper to her father. She had heard him say that his brother was abroad and had been detained by some perilous adventures and they were concerned for his well-being. Her thoughts went out to Sidney. If only he was safe. She decided that she would say a prayer for him after assisting the injured stranger.

Charlotte pushed to open the heavy church door. She saw his silhouette from behind, praying, kneeling down, with his head bent down. She put down the basket on the floor and scraped her throat. “I beg your pardon, sir, my father has sent me to bring you some refreshment, clean clothes and to take care of your injury.” she said. When he turned around, she again only saw his silhouette, a dark figure against the bright light coming in from the big window behind him. She recognised it, but she didn’t trust her eyes. Too often had she dreamt of seeing him again. Could it be really him this time? She held her breath as she carefully approached him and he moved her way. What if it was him? Why was he here? He had promised to stay away from her, unless he could make her a promise. Now he was here. But he had not asked for her. What could it mean? When she was close enough to confirm it was indeed him and not her imagination, they looked at each other in astonishment, her heart jumped. “Sidney! What are you doing here!” she exclaimed in excitement only just remembering to recompose herself in God’s house.

His face lit up for a short moment as he stood up and looked down at her. Then his expression turned grave: “Good day, Miss Heywood.” He spoke with a sad, stern voice. “Or I should rather say: “Congratulations, Mrs. Stringer!”

Charlotte looked at him in surprise: “Mrs. Stringer?!” she laughed in confusion. He looked at her with quite a tormented face. “No, I am still Miss Heywood.” She said with a meaningful smile.

He stared at her and as the message dawned on him and his face lit up. “You’re not married then?” She shook her head. “But... I was told Mr. Stringer married Miss Heywood just an hour ago! Your father confirmed it.” He stammered confused.

“Miss _Allison_ Heywood, yes.” she replied, a little amused.

A big smile of relief followed and he said a little ‘thank you’, folding his hands and looking up at the Cross.

“But, Georgiana said he had proposed to you.” he said, still confused. “And Eliza was convinced Mr. Stringer told her he was marrying you today…”

“He meant to ask me over Christmas, and I have considered it.” she said, looking at her feet “But I convinced him it would make many people miserable. I have been able to divert his attentions to someone who would receive them more favourable… I care for him, but not passionately, he’s friend…nothing more. I doubt we would make each other happy. And my sister would have been absolutely miserable, as she was quite infatuated with him from the moment she laid eyes on him. And he’s realised she would make him far more happy than I ever could.” She spoke slowly, a little uneasy in admitting she had in fact considered Mr. Stringer’s proposal.

“So, you’re not married then? ” he asked again with some amazement, lifting her chin gently with his hand, his thumb resting in the dimple in her chin, to look her in the eye.

“No, she said with a faint smile, sad that it might have been her only chance at marriage.

“And you’re not engaged either?’ he asked carefully. She shook her head. “So you are still at liberty to wed?” he asked hopeful. She nodded, a little confused.

He took her hands in his, brought his face closer to hers: “That makes two of us.” he whispered.

She looked up at him in surprise: “You mean…”

“Yes, Eliza has released me of our engagement. I’ve convinced her somebody else would make her happier as well.” He reassured her.

“But..” Charlotte stammered “What about your loan? Tom’s debts? Sanditon?”

“Well, I have a different creditor now.” he said with some amusement. “Who has some extraordinary conditions, like giving her permission to marry Mr. Molyneux.”

“Georgiana gave you the money in exchange for your consent? You’ve changed your mind about him?” Charlotte asked in amazement. “I thought the idea repulsed you.”

“Well, Georgiana offered the assistance herself, I took your words at heart and made some inquiries about Otis Molyneux; and I happened to meet the man on my journey home. I owe my life and freedom to his ship’s crew. And it seems that he has changed his ways dramatically... I just hope for his sake Georgiana does not find him too dull now.” he grimaced. “So, there’s another wedding coming up.” he said. “And I would like to add one more to the calendar.” he looked tenderly in her eyes and went down on one knee: “Dear, dear Charlotte… if you do not think too badly of me, after all I put you through, knowing I am a heavily indebted man… would you take me in your power, be my guide in becoming my best self? Will you forever share with me your wisdom, your opinions? Be the mirror that reflects the image of me in all honesty. Will make me the happiest man alive? Will you allow me to try to make you happy in every possible sense? Worship you, body and mind, for eternity and marry me?”.

Charlotte was lost for words. But her face told him enough as she leant forward, took his face in her hands and touched his forehead with hers. He could taste the tears of joy rolling down her cheek, and the sweet raspberry jam she’d eaten before on her lips as she kissed him.

They heard a man scrape his voice and with a little embarrassed smile she stepped back. Her uncle John, the vicar, who had come in again, raised his eyebrows and said a little teasingly, with a forgiving smile: “I believe you two are running a little ahead of yourselves. The lady hasn’t actually said ‘yes’ yet, and there’s still a ceremony to be held. But shall I put your names down for a small ceremony in the near future, after which you may continue your intimacies at home? Today is Saturday, and we have to call out the banns three consecutive Sunday services, so let’s say Monday two weeks from now? Or a week later, since the banns must be called out in your own parish church too? That is the first possibility, you know. But you may also marry by common license if you’re impatient.”

Sidney, getting up on both his feet again, smiled apologetically, looking a little embarrassed. “I beg your pardon, sir, we meant nothing dishonourable. I would like to follow up on your suggestion, but to do things properly, I still have to talk to the lady’s father first.”

“Oh, I believe you already have my brother’s approval, sir. And I gather he is giving his permission, or he would not have sent his favourite daughter down to see you.” reverend John Heywood reassured him.

Sidney smiled relieved. “So the beginning of February then?” John Heywood asked, opening the register.

Sidney sighed. “However impatient I am to make Miss Heywood my wife, I have promised my ward that she would have her wedding before us, a month from now... And with Lent coming up in five weeks…I’m afraid we’ll have to wait till after Easter. I suggest the second week of April?”

Charlotte, still mute with disbelief and happiness, her eyes filled with tears, of happiness this time, nodded. She remembered Sidney’s wedding to Eliza had been planned the first week of April, right after Easter and she felt Sidney would not want to choose the same date out of respect for Mrs. Campion.

“Very well. ” John Heywood replied with a smile. “And may I congratulate you with the prospect of having this special young lady becoming your wife. You are a very lucky man, I dare say. I’ve known her all her life. I am her uncle and I have baptised her you know. And it will be my honour to conduct the wedding ceremony.”

“Indeed, she is the best woman I’ve ever come to know, her mind even more beautiful than her looks” Sidney said, looking at Charlotte in admiration.

Charlotte smiled a little humbled. “Thank you, uncle, but I’m also marrying a very special man. I cannot believe there being any other man who could love and respect me as he does.” She added, causing Sidney to blush himself. “Your injury!” Charlotte exclaimed all of a sudden. “I forgot to look at it. My father thought you might have broken something.”

Sidney looked a little befuddled and then laughed. “Your father was right. I had a broken heart, but you’ve mended it quite well.”

Charlotte laughed a little embarrassed at her father’s little prank. Then Charlotte took his hand to lead Sidney back to the house, where the wedding cake was waiting to be cut. Mary, having been informed of her brother-in-law’s presence, saw them approaching, as she looked through the parlour window. The way Sidney and Charlotte held each other’s hands, and kept looking in each other’s eyes, told her enough. Mr. Heywood, keeping an eye on the front door, saw them coming in. He had never seen his Charlotte looking more radiant than at that moment. All the sorrow she might have felt the past months seemed gone. Her companion’s smile couldn’t be any wider. Charlotte need not say a word, she only looked her father in the eyes with a mix of gratitude and joy and gently pushing Sidney in front of her, and whispered to her father that their guest had an important question to ask him.

Mr. Heywood, shaking hands with Sidney, merely replied with a smile: “Well, Mr. Parker, I see your spirits are lifted. Well, no better healer than my Charlotte. I gather your regrets regarding my Allison having married Mr. Stringer have gone.” He said with an amused smile.

“Well, you had me there for a moment, sir.” Sidney replied with a humble mile. “I feel quite foolish now.”

“Well, you cannot be as foolish as giving up a woman with half a million pounds for one with very little fortune.” Mr. Heywood teased, while Charlotte signalled her father not to ridicule their guest.

Sidney, looking at Charlotte with warm eyes replied: “No, I am not foolish sir, I found an even greater treasure.”

Mr. Heywood, feeling a little humbled himself at such a compliment for his eldest daughter asked: “Am I right to assume you plan to make an honourable woman of my Charlotte?”

“With your blessing, sir, I will.” Sidney replied a little nervously.

“Well, I’ll have toast to two couples then.” Mr. Heywood said. He gave Sidney the opportunity to refresh himself briefly and change into the clean clothes before he led them into the parlour.

Mrs. Heywood congratulated them rather confoundedly. She had hoped to see Charlotte get engaged that day, but to her nephew Roger, not to a stranger. She whispered in her husband’s ear: “Do you think Mr. Parker is the one who sent Charlotte that inappropriate Christmas present?” she asked her husband carefully. He nodded with a playful smile. Mrs Heywood had frowned on seeing the gift, wondering if the extendible phallus shape was meant metaphorically, and commented on it to her husband, but he had warned her that if she was to confiscate the thing, she would be obliged to tell her innocent daughter what was inappropriate about it and he doubted Charlotte had any knowledge of these matters. Nor did he think anything inappropriate was meant by it, so they had giggled amongst themselves when retiring to their bed. And Mrs. Heywood had only warned Charlotte not use the telescope in public, with the excuse that it was improper to display such expensive gifts and would arouse envy.

In the parlour, Charlotte was immediately hugged by Mary who whispered in her ears whether she was right to assume their new relation. Tom, rather astonished to see Sidney there, hugged his brother, asked after the safeness of his journey and after the health of his betrothed. Sidney, feeling a little vindictive, merely pulled Charlotte in front of him and replied to his brother with a smirk: “Well Tom, you may ask her yourself.” Tom looked a little puzzled before the message dawned on him and reacted in shock. “Your engagement with Mrs. Campion is cancelled? Oh my brother, how ruined we are and how heartbroken you must be.”

“None of that brother. I am happier than I have ever been before and I have new creditor who is quite lenient in her conditions.” Sidney said. “Now, I _do_ hope for your congratulations on my betrothal to Miss Heywood?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Tom, still a little dazzled, stammered: “Of course, of course. Lovely to have you in our family. Charlotte. It’s just… so unexpected. ”

“Well, not for your wife, Tom!” Sidney patted him on the back with a triumphant smile.

Arthur appeared to be attending the wedding as well, having become good friends with William Heywood and the two men were elated that they would become relatives through the union of their siblings. The Stringer-couple did not mind sharing their joyous moment, both glad to see Charlotte looking so happy. For the rest of the morning, the newly engaged couple would only sit together quite close, feeding each other, staring at each other as if no one else were present in the room. Mrs. Heywood carefully whispered in Charlotte’s ears to show a little more decorum, but Mr. Heywood calmed her down, arguing that the lovers should be given the indulgence of a limited display of affection after such a long partition. After all, they were amongst family. In any case, the youngest Heywood siblings were too curious about their future uncle to give Charlotte and Sidney some peace and Sidney showed off his talent for acting as climbing tree, donkey and big bad wolf simultaneously. The only one who remained rather despondent was Roger Heywood, who felt robbed of his chance to secure Charlotte for himself and sat quietly in a corner next to the seventeen-year-old Theresa, who listened quite patiently to his account of his acquaintance Mr. Sidney Parker.


	28. Preparing for married life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney tells the Heywoods about his recent adventures at sea. Charlotte and Sidney have some arguments and talk over their future as husband and wife: where they'll live, his business travels, choosing their china and silverware. Sidney is a little insecure on whether his financial position and obligations to Georgiana are acceptable to Mr. Heywood and asks Charlotte to reconsider. She believes Sidney is getting cold feet. They travel to London and Sanditon. Mary gets angry with Tom. And an angry Lady D. calls on them and makes another wager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who'd like a third season there's a little cliffhanger. Otherwise read until the starred line

# 28\. Preparing for married life

At noon, the married couple took their leave and the Heywood family asked Sidney to stay a few days longer, especially after hearing he only set foot on shore two days before and had been riding night and day. They expressed a wish to get to know him better. Mrs. Heywood arranged for Sidney to stay in her brother-in-law’s rectory, as all the rooms and beds in the Heywood House were already in use, but moreover to avoid any scandal that might come from sleeping under one roof with Charlotte. At dinner, the Heywoods asked him more about his occupation, his history and travels. Sidney told of his recent shipwreck near Madeira, and his captivity by the hand of Barbary Privateers, euphemising and ridiculing a little the dangers involved so he would not scare the little ones, but amuse them.

Mr. Heywood reacted calmly, expressing his relief and hiding the serious nature of the events for his young children: “I’m surprised these privateers are still active, I thought that since the bombardment of Algiers all European slaves were released and that with the treaty with the Dey of Algiers these dangers had come to an end.”

“Indeed sea voyages have become a lot safer in recent years.” Sidney reassured them. “Such attacks have become rare, if we had not had a broken ship, we would not have come so close to the Barbary coast. And thankfully, the British navy patrols the sea a lot more often. Now they don’t have to protect us against the French, they can protect us from other dangers better. I wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for the British navy.”

Ten-year-old Christopher, one of Charlotte’s younger brothers exclaimed: “We British are much better than those Barbarians.”

Sidney coughed lightly “Well, I wouldn’t say that, young friend. First of all, it’s called Barbary coast because of the name of its people, the Berbers, not Barbarians, and as for how they treated me: it was far from pleasant, but I’ve seen British people do worse. And think about this: We spent much gunpower and soldiers on freeing some three thousand European slaves, but how many slaves in our own colonies do you think are waiting to be free?”

Christopher shrugged his shoulders, a little insecure: “I thought we ended slavery?”

Sidney smiled: “Yes, In Britain itself and we have forbidden slavery and no new slaves may be transported to the colonies from Africa, but the ones who are already there, are not set free.”

Christopher and the other children looked surprised and impressed.

“So how many are there then?” little eight-year-old Lucas asked intrigued.

“Well, I don’t have the exact number, but on Antigua alone there are some thirty thousand. And Antigua is only a small island, so I estimate there are hundreds of thousands, possibly millions in all the European colonies together, and then there is America…”

Sidney remembered his long discussion with Otis in Gibraltar: “You know, it is not where you come from or the colour of your skin that makes you good or bad, it is how you behave and how you treat others. It was a black friend who removed _my_ shackles, it was a white man who freed _him_ of slavery.”

Mr. Heywood smiled approvingly at this moral lesson.

“I will get my rifle and free them!” little Lucas exclaimed

“Well, that is very brave of you, young man, but we do not need more gun power, just convince people in our own parliament, vote for the right people.”

“I’m too young to vote..” Christopher mumbled.

“And we ladies cannot vote at all.” fifteen-year-old Elizabeth sighed.

“Indeed you cannot.” Sidney admitted: “But you can stop eating sugar.”

“Stop eating sugar?” Lucas exclaimed, looking a bit crestfallen, as did the other small children.

Mr. Heywood chuckled silently.

“Yes, because there is hardly any sugar available that was not produced by slaves, now if you stop to eat sugar, than the people who own the slaves don’t earn so much money and they will need to do something else.”

“Well, I don’t need sugar, I’ll just eat cakes.” little six-year-old Emily said.

Mrs. Heywood laughed: “What do you think makes the cakes so sweet, dear? Sugar. Except when we use honey.”

“I will only eat honey cakes from now on.” Emily stated resolutely.

Charlotte, taking in Sidney’s story and undoing it in her mind of all the trivialisation, did not join the light discussion. She realised how great the danger had actually been and tried to supress her emotions, but it was too much. She ran out of the room upset, to let her tears flow in private in the drawing room. Sidney came after her. She yelled at him for joking about being enslaved. And while she raged and let all the grief of the past months flow out of her, he put his arms around her. She pounded her fists on his chest, he let her. Being used to the heavy blows of his boxing opponents, Charlotte’s felt like tender caresses. He sat down on the lounge chair, took her in his lap, hugged and kissed the back of her head as she let him know how terrified she was of losing him again, and he let her know how he had felt that morning, when for a brief moment he thought to have lost her to someone else.

As she quieted down, he rubbed his nose gently against her ear, smelled the rosy scent of her hair and inhaled deeply. She turned her face towards his. He looked at her quite sheepishly, she stared at him with love and admiration. Her lips, like petals of a rose bud, moved apart to invite his for a kiss, but Mrs. Heywood, despite Mr. Heywood’s insistence on not disturbing their little lover’s quarrel, walked in on them. She was shocked to see them in such an intimate pose on the lounge chair, coughed loudly, and the couple recomposed themselves before their lips could touch. After the children had gone to bed, Mr. Heywood however gave the couple some time alone in his study, with the door open, to talk things over.

“What would have happened to you if Otis and his ship had not liberated you?” Charlotte asked him, while gently stroking his hair as he sat next to her.

“Well, most European men end up in the galley, rowing their ships. But educated ones have better prospects. I could have become a clerk, or they would have written to my family and asked for ransom… or you… they found the note you wrote me.”

“They did not write me.” Charlotte said softly.

“I’m glad they did not. Knowing you, you would have boarded the first best ship to Algiers with a plot to liberate me.”

She laughed: “That idea would indeed cross my mind. I would rather die than leave you captivated.”

“And I would have died from a heart attack if you did. And it would be unnecessary. I could have freed myself by converting to their religion.” He said with a smile.

“Really?” she asked surprised.

“Yes, but I would not have been able to return to England. I would have sent for you. Or have some corsairs abduct you if you did not come willingly.’ he winked. “And then I could have married you.”

“You think I would abandon our faith.” She asked a little offendedly.

“Well, you wouldn’t have to. I am told a Muslim man can take a Christian wife. And there some nice advantages for a woman to marry under Muslim law.”

“Are there?” she asked curiously.

“Yes, well, for one: you would be mistress of your own fortune, which I would have to pay on our marriage and which you would keep if you would divorce me for being so sinful.”

“That sounds attractive.” she said playfully pensive. 

“And our daughters, would never have to fear being left penniless at my death, because by law they would inherit half the sum of their brothers, but without the obligation to keep their relatives for which the sons have responsibility.”

“Well maybe we should introduce that in our own law.” Charlotte remarked. “But , pray, what would be the advantage for you?”

“Ah, well..” he playfully pinched his eyes. “I get to keep you indoors, cover you up, out of sight of any other man who might fancy you. Have you all to myself.”

“There’s no need for such jealousy, I don’t fancy anyone else.” She replied reassuringly.

“And , the nice thing is, I could marry three other women besides you.”

“Oh really _, that’s_ what attracts you?” she asked playfully.

“Well, it would have solved our problem if Eliza had not released me from our engagement.” he defended himself. 

“But, since you would not get to own her money, of course the whole purpose of marrying her would be gone. “ Charlotte commented.

He looked playfully disappointed: “True. And since I only wish to marry you, the possibility of polygamy would be pointless in my case.” He gave her a kiss.

She kept silent for a while, then she hesitatingly asked: “I am curious, Sidney, How did you convince Eliza…if you are at liberty to tell me.”

He hesitated before he answered: “Can I count on your discretion? I would not like anybody’s name dragged through the mud.”

“Of course I won’t tell anyone, I merely ask because I want to know what’s on your mind and whether I can announce our engagement beyond this family.”

“Of course, you’re right. Indeed we’ll have to be discrete about our engagement, for now, the cancelation of my engagement to Eliza has not been publicly announced yet… it’s just, hearing you were about to marry someone else made me rush this way and I had to tell you, ask you.”

“Of course, we’ll keep it among ourselves till everybody has forgotten about your engagement to Eliza. I do not wish to humiliate her publicly.”

“Neither do I and that’s why I gave her the chance to end our engagement herself.”

“Why, did you have cause to break the engagement yourself then?”

He sighed: “Let’s just say that it was brought to my attention that she had been spending a lot of time with Sir Edward Denham during my absence and I asked her whether she was still committed to our engagement or that she liked him better. She was pretty stubborn, arguing her fancy for Sir Edward and my love for you were distractions that we could overcome, given our long history. So in the end I gave her the choice: either she would save her own honour and announce that she had changed her mind or I would break it off, supported with proof I had of her frequently receiving Sir Edward in her home during my absence.”

“You blackmailed her?” Charlotte asked in shock.

“I confronted her with her own behaviour. Voiced my distrust, as she behaved similarly when we were engaged a decade back and she told me Mr. Campion’s attentions meant nothing….I offered her a way out without tarnishing her name. She was very upset, of course. Her marriage to Mr. Campion was unhappy and she had held on to this fantasy of getting back together with me while waiting for her husband to pass away. I told her I would feel about her as she did about Mr. Campion, that I could not make her happy, that she deserved someone who could… I meant that”

“Poor Mrs. Campion.” Charlotte muttered.

“Do not pity her, Charlotte. She showed no empathy for you when she forced me to engage myself to her, while she knew how we felt about each other. And honestly, as much as I dislike Sir Edward, I do think he could make her happy. And I think they will announce their engagement as soon as it is considered proper.”

“Well, I hope she finds happiness.” Charlotte stated “If only because I hope it will make her nicer.”

Sidney smiled. “Well, it worked for me. At least, I hope I am more pleasant company now that I have found you.”

“For me you are, now at least, but then you have a lot of unpleasantness in the past to compensate for…”she teased him.

He smiled a little embarrassed: “I mean to make up for a lot. But I fear right now I am mostly very exhausted company.” he tried to supress a yawn.

“Have you really been riding all night?” she asked him.

“Yes, I haven’t seen a bed since I returned to England two days ago. Looking at you is the only thing a have energy for right now and I must say it feels like I’m dreaming.” He smiled.

“We’d better ask my aunt Margaret to get your bed ready and let you dream some more.” Charlotte said lovingly “And I’ll tell my uncle John not to be offended if you should sleep in and miss church service.”

“Oh no, I’ll be there, I do not want to get out of favour with your family already, and certainly not with God. Last Christmas on Gibraltar I attended mass for the first time since a decade. I’d like to think God has rewarded me now and do not want to vex Him again. Just tell you uncle not take my yawning in church tomorrow personally.” Sidney argued.

Charlotte smiled: “I will…But just for my understanding: How I am to interpret that you consider becoming a Muslim in one instance and a devoted Christian in the next?”

“That I follow the path that leads me to you.” he said with a kiss.

She blushed: “Well, I’ll just have to make sure you stay on the right path.”

“Please do.” he said warmly. So Sidney was shown the path to the rectory, escorted by Charlotte and her father and her aunt Margaret showed him the way to his room.

The Parkers stayed the Sunday and all the plans for the wedding were further discussed. When it came to discussing the rest of their lives together, Sidney asked Charlotte, as they sat in the drawing room alone for a while: “Tell me dear, where you would like to live? You know I have my house and business in London, but I know you are not fond of the city and we need not necessary live there all year.”

Charlotte looked him in the eyes: “Well, anywhere with you is good enough for me, I’ll sleep under a bridge if it’s with you...”

“Sleeping under a bridge? Hmm, well, as tempting as it sounds, let’s wait till after the wedding shall we?” he responded a little naughtily, looking her in the eye.

Her cheeks coloured dark red at realising how her words could be interpreted.

She recollected herself: “If I may choose, I would very much like to live in Sanditon, near the sea, near Tom and Mary and James and Allison. But I don’t need a grand house. I would prefer something more cottage-like, covered in ivy, with a garden and fields around it. ”

He smiled: “I was thinking of that too. You know, my father’s house was very much like this one, a bit smaller though. Tom built Trafalgar Place and moved there, but he still has the old house. And Mary just told me the tenants recently passed away, so it is vacant now.”

Charlotte smiled: “Mary showed it to me, I was quite in love with it.”

“Well then.” he said. “I’ll make arrangements. We’ll still keep the house in London for our convenience.”

“Well, with fifty thousand pounds to repay Georgiana, let’s not overspend.” she said. “We don’t need anything grand, we can downsize. 

“We’ll see.” he said in a more serious tone. “We can rent out the London House when we’re not in town. … Just let me clarify my financial position, you have a right to know what your letting yourself into, and your father will certainly want to know the details.”

“My father is not interested in your wealth, Sidney.” she said reassuringly

“I’d like to hear that from him.” Sidney stated firmly

“Sidney, if my father considers me a grown woman, mature enough to choose my own husband, why can’t you?” she said a little irritated.

“I’m sorry, I’m just nervous I guess. I’m just a little surprised at his consenting without knowing my situation.”

“Sidney, I am almost twenty-three, my father knows I do not need his consent, although I would like his blessing… my father is only concerned with your character. He said to me a while back: wealth is something that comes and goes, but it is a man’s character that determines how he will fare. A man’s character is a man’s fate after all.”

“I’m glad to hear your father and I have something else in common besides our love for you, we both quote Heraclitus.” He smiled a little relieved.

“Well, they say women prefer husbands that resemble their father.” She joked. “But, since you mentioned it, I am curious what you have agreed with Georgiana, especially since you were set so strongly against using her money.”

“Indeed, you are entitled to know the details. Well, apart from the investments we’ve procured last autumn, Georgiana is investing fifty thousand pounds, half her assets. The rest of the required sum comes from the other investors. You know I’ve scrupled at using Georgiana’s fortune to solve the problems for Sanditon. She’s taking a big risk and as her guardian I feel responsible. I couldn’t accept her making a sacrifice financially, at the same time I need to secure you and our possible future children. So I’ve agreed with Georgiana that she’s entitled to a minimum revenue of four percent per year at least, similar to what she could count on before, until my death. If that should happen untimely, there’s a life-insurance that will compensate her loss of income if necessary. She cannot claim the assets you’ll inherit. As long as the investments in Sanditon don’t produce sufficiently, the guaranteed revenue will come from my, or what will _our_ , income. That means two thousand of the three thousand I make a year, although I mean to ask Tom to take on part of that burden. After all, the debt is originally his. He won’t like it, he already was living beyond his means, so reducing those means will hurt…and I mean to be supportive, but he must bear some of the pain at least… As for repayment, the agreement is that she’s getting a share in the project and we mean to buy it back gradually. And we’ve agreed she cannot withdraw the investment all at once. That safeguards us in case Otis or Georgiana’s heirs or Georgiana herself have a change of mind.…I have quite some assets, but they cover only half of that fifty thousand and I need most of it to run my business. Bedford Place is worth about ten thousand, I have some ten thousand in warehouses, shares in ships, goods and such, and after all I have lent Tom there’s some five thousand left in the bank accounts that I need as liquid means for day-to-day business. But in short: for the coming years we will have to live of approximately a thousand pounds a year if business runs well, but some years it may only be half that amount. Will that be enough for you?” he asked hesitatingly.

Charlotte smiled: “I’ve never dared to hope I could have that much to live on. A thousand pounds a year sounds pretty luxurious to me and I don’t think my father will have any objections. He was satisfied with James’s position and prospects, which encompassed a significantly smaller fortune…”

“Well it’s less than a third of what I’m used to live off the last few years, and half of what your father lives off.” Sidney remarked. “and Stringer may not have many assets and a large income, but he also doesn’t have the obligation to repay thousands of pounds a year…I wouldn’t blame your father if he would ask you to reconsider, or to wait with the wedding until Sanditon has become successful and the risks diminished.”

Charlotte sighed: “Sidney, if I marry you, it will be for better and worse. I have no intention of waiting for better times first. I wish to stand by you in times of hardship. I know my parents have twice the income, but my parents also have a great many children to maintain, thus they have to spend it wisely. I’m used to being economical and use my money sparingly. And I’m not too proud for household chores, I do not need a great number of servants or dresses. I prefer walking to riding with a carriage. I know how to grow vegetables in the garden.” Charlotte reassured him. “I can cook if necessary, though I can’t assure you my meals will be very appetising”. She grimaced “...and as for the monetary burdens, I am reassured you’ve taken pains to secure both me and Georgiana…so I will not hear you talking of reconsideration or postponement or I shall think you’re getting cold feet yourself.” She gave him a strict look.

He smiled tenderly: “I only wish to protect you, Charlotte,….indeed you are very practical and strong. It is one the reasons I love you so much….but I am kind of hoping for some more additions to our family within reasonable time that we have to provide for as well. ”he said warmly. “Some little Sidneys and Charlottes to fill a cricket team, or rather a lot of Charlottes, because Sidneys tend to full of mischief.” He grinned.

“Well, you must talk to my mother then, because little Charlotte’s can be quite a handful.” She laughed back at him.

“Really. And what sort of mischief do little Charlotte’s get in?”

“Well, for one, they tend to be quite a shot, so you may watch your head when they’re hunting. I nearly shot down my brother Thomas once when he was walking in the way.” She said with a mischievous smile.

He raised his eyebrows. “Really?!” looking a little startled. “Your brother got away lucky then?”

“Well, if I had meant to shoot him, I would not have missed.” she said confidently. “I’m quite the champion of this house, you may ask my brothers. Who do you think shot the hare you had for dinner?”

She saw him swallow pensively. “And you tell me you’re this dangerous this _after_ I enraged you with my conduct, broke your heart, chased after you and you’ve got me captive?” he asked her a little with playful anxiety.

She smiled mischievously: “Well, then you know now never to scorn me again.”

He laughed, took her face in his hands: “My Charlotte, my muse, my conscience, my heart, my mirror, my fury, my punishment, my love.” And he kissed her. “Well, I’ll make you responsible for providing the meat on our table then.” he grinned teasingly. “And just hope it’ll not be one of _my_ limbs.”

She poked him with her arm. “Well, as long as you behave, you’ll be safe.” she teased him back.

  
At dinner, Mary asked Charlotte to come stay a few weeks with them in Trafalgar House so she could take a look at their old house. “It needs some fixing up, and I would like to discuss with you how you would like it decorated.” Mary said.

“Well, I have few demands and I do not wish for you to make any expense.” Charlotte answered humbly. “But I’m always happy to go to Sanditon.” she added with a smile.

“Well, you are quite in a hurry to take Charlotte off our hands! We would like to spend some more time with her.” Mr. Heywood objected. And Mrs. Heywood added they had to order Charlotte’s wedding clothes and linen in London as well.

“Well, I can take Charlotte to London before we go to Sanditon.” Sidney suggested. “I need to be there for business anyway next week. Charlotte can place her orders and come back a few weeks later for her dress fitting before we come to Willingden again for the wedding.”

“Yes, Mr. Parker, but let’s do things properly. Charlotte shall not share your house before the wedding.” Mrs. Heywood said firmly.

Sidney nodded in resignation: “Of course Mrs. Heywood. I must stress I also wish to wait a few weeks before announcing the engagement publicly. After all, the cancellation of my engagement to Mrs. Campion is not yet publicly known. When Mary and Tom take her to London, they can stay in my house on Bedford Place and I shall find some other accommodation, and in Sanditon I can stay in the hotel as well.”

“Indeed, propriety demands discretion for now. Charlotte might also stay with Allison and James.” Mrs. Heywood suggested.

Sidney chuckled: “Well let’s not impose on the newlyweds so fast, and give them some privacy to get to know each other. I insist I sleep in the hotel.”

“Well, that’s settled then and when she returns to London for her dress fittings, I think we can stay with my brother-in-law and I’ll accompany Charlotte.” Mrs. Heywood said. Charlotte rolled her eyes at the prospect.

Charlotte stayed a week with the Parkers in Bedford Place, before they travelled on to Sanditon. Sidney did as promised, staying with the Babingtons while in London and travelling home every day to see Charlotte and discuss their plans, and take her out to look at crockery and silverware. Mary had told them some of the old furniture was still in the Parkers’ ancestral house, but they had taken all the tableware to Trafalgar House and the heirs of their tenants had collected the deceased’s goods. So, they needed to purchase their own sets.

It was fortunate that Georgiana’s engagement was published in the papers just that week and the two young woman went to shop for their wedding trousseau together. As such, Sidney coming along to select tableware aroused little suspicion. Charlotte had a little sum of her own, as Mr. Heywood had put aside about twenty five pounds a year for each of his children, which in Charlotte’s case now amounted to approximately nine hundred pounds, including interest.

Charlotte and Sidney quickly agreed on cutlery with the King’s pattern as it has shells on the handle and oysters at the back of bowl of the spoons, reminding them of where they met. As for the crockery, Sidney quickly pointed to a set with dark pink and coral roses painted on them, together with some yellow and blue anemones, adorned with a bit of ivy and a blue and gold rim that was shaped a bit like a sequence of waves. The painted pattern was modest and asymmetric. “These roses remind me of your lips and the blue rim of the waves of the sea. And the flowers and ivy remind me of the garden of the house we will live in” he whispered in Charlotte’s ear.

She looked up at him “It’s a lovely set.” She replied with a smile. It was well within her budget, so they ordered the set.

Georgiana herself chose for patterns with palm trees and pineapples.

“I thought you hated pineapples, as a decoration that is.” Charlotte commented surprised.

“I don’t hate pineapples, I love them, they remind me of home. What I dislike is when well-to-do English use it to display the wealth they gathered abroad, emphasizing their dominion over foreign people, like my mother, and exotic domains” Georgiana explained herself irritated.

“But in your case, it your own domain and cultural heritage? So you would be entitled to it?” Charlotte tried to clarify.

“Precisely!” Georgiana stated firmly, as she almost hugged the plate she was holding. 

“Good, then the next time I discern you are wearing roses or rose parfum, I shall scold you for exhibiting _my heritage_.” Charlotte replied, playfully sticking her nose up.

“As my father was an Englishman, I am entitled to those too” Georgiana smiled self-satisfied, putting her arm through Charlotte’s.

“Indeed, lucky girl to have so much choice.” Charlotte smiled back “But what do you think of wearing a pineapple parfum?” Or some dried pieces of pineapple to put between your linen? Or maybe order a pattern with roses, trees and pineapples?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. People already mistake me for chocolate. If I smelled like pineapple they would get confused. Or worse, they would try even more often to bite me.” Georgian scoffed playfully.

“Indeed, bad idea.” Charlotte concluded. They made their orders and Sidney dropped them off at the dress maker, where Mary was already waiting. Georgiana offered to pay for Charlotte’s dress and Mary came along, so she could instruct Sidney’s tailor on matching the colours and fabrics for his suit. Mary advised Charlotte on her selection of linen and bedding.

In Sanditon, they also discussed with Tom and Mary how to repay Georgiana, who had stayed behind in London, further. Sidney tried to persuade his brother in contributing to the guaranteed dividend. Tom sighed it would reduce their own income considerably: “I’m happy you and Charlotte have found each other, but now you’re not marrying Mrs. Campion, it does complicate things.” he said. “My share in the future revenue of Sanditon has been reduced significantly with all the extra investors, with no money in the bank I get no interest on my savings, Trafalgar House is mortgaged. All we have as income is the annuity of three-hundred pounds Mary is entitled to and about a thousand pounds in rent on some of the properties I still own myself. Sidney’s face froze and Mary lashed out to her husband:

“How dare you complain Tom Parker! How ungrateful you are. _You_ brought this great debt upon us, not Sidney, or Charlotte for that matter! Sidney was willing to sacrifice his own happiness, Charlotte’s too, to save us from bankruptcy! Now he’s found another solution, voluntarily giving away two thirds his yearly income, while it is not his debt to repay, it is _ours_. Now don’t be selfish, I am more than happy to lower our standard of living to give Sidney and Charlotte their chance at happiness together.”

Sidney remained silent while Tom quickly apologised: “I’m sorry, of course I’m very grateful for all you’ve done for us, Sidney. You are the best brother one can wish for. And don’t think I don’t wish you happiness. I just thought that it was Eliza who owned your heart and well… her wealth would of course have been convenient…but if you would be unhappy with her, I would find that a hard price to pay. I just didn’t realise that it _was_ a sacrifice.”

Sidney’s face cleared up a little: “It’s all right Tom, I hadn’t told you about my feelings for Charlotte and my lack thereof for Mrs. Campion. I should have enlightened you earlier.”

“Well, I should have seen it. _Mary_ saw it.” Tom said apologetically.

They worked out the finances. Mary insisted that Sidney and Charlotte could use their old house free of rent. They went to look at the half-timbred house, the Parkers’ ancestral home, Charlotte fell quite in love with it again. Tom and Mary showed them around. The house had two storey’s and an attic. There was large door in the middle with a triangular roof over the steps, facing the east. At the end of the hallway was a big staircase with below it the cloak room. On either side there were four big leaded windows. On the right (south) side there were two reception room at the front of the house and at the back there was a large dining room. On the left (north side) next to the door there was a library that doubled as a study. The library still contained many of the books of Tom’s and Sidney’s father, as neither Tom or Mary felt a need for a substantial library and had left many of the books behind when they moved to Trafalgar House. Next to the door to the library was a door to the servant’s quarters, with a kitchen, a laundry-room, a linen closet and the housekeeper’s room and a spiral staircase at the end of the corridor with access to the cellar and the upper floors.

On the first floor there were three decent sized bedrooms at the north-side of the house and a nursery, which could also be accessed from a small servant’s room above the entrance of the house. The south half of the house contained a small parlour or dressing room at the front of the house, giving access to the mistress’ bedroom, which could also be accessed from the adjoining master’s bedroom at the back of the house, which was adjoined to a small dressing room. In the attic there were some rooms for servants and storage space.

The furniture was old. There were cobwebs all over the place. Much of the red painted plaster in the parlours downstairs had come down. The roof needed repairs. Drafts were coming from the fireplaces.

“Well, what do you think?” Sidney asked Charlotte carefully when they were standing inside.

“Well, it needs some work, but otherwise I think it is perfect.” she smiled. “I’ll be very content here.” Sidney, standing behind her, wrapped his arms around her and whispered: “My thoughts exactly.”

He showed where they had played hide and seek as children, his old bedroom, the garden where a swing had hung from the big oak tree. Charlotte asked her new brother-in-law, James Stringer, to take a look at the construction when she called on her sister in the Stringers’ new house. James Stringer suggested installing new Rumford fireplaces, with improved chimney’s that would reduce the draft, reduce smoke in the rooms and kept the heat better inside. Charlotte thought it would cost too much. She suggested Mary and Sidney to limit the work to fixing the roof, some urgent repairs and a fresh coat of paint, in some lighter colours. She felt the rest would be too much of an indulgence. “We can change the rest gradually, if we have some money left...” she resigned “We already have enough costs with getting all the linen and table ware we need.”

Sidney suggested selling some of his possessions so Charlotte would have some extra budget for refurbishing and renovating the house. He could sell his phaeton, though he had had it less than a year. And if his new business contacts in Lisbon and Madeira were profitable, they would have some extra income. “I will have to do some extra travelling to make that a success.” He said apologetically. Charlotte looked a little disappointed: “Will you be away much?” she asked “A few months a year, perhaps.” He replied.

“Well, we can’t live on sunshine alone. If being apart part of the year is the price we have to pay for being together the rest of our lives, so be it…” Charlotte resigned “But I would like to go with you.”

“We’ll see, if we can afford, I’ll take you to the continent and Madeira one day.” He smiled.

Charlotte suggested that instead of selling the phaeton, they could exploit it, rent it out to visitors in Sanditon, that would provide them with more funds in the long run and they could still use it themselves. “I know how much you like riding it yourself. ” She said with a kiss on his cheek. Sidney grinned pleased: “That is my lady, a real businesswoman.”

Lady D. called on them at Trafalgar House, quite displeased at the recent developments.

“Mr. Parker.” she said quite infuriated to Sidney: “Your betrothal to Mrs. Campion was a guarantee I would get my investment back one way or the other. Now do you wish me to withdraw my money and send your family to debtor’s prison? I mean, Miss Heywood is surely a young witty thing, but what do you purchase with that? A life of poverty! ”

“Please, Lady Denham, do not be alarmed. Your investment is guaranteed still, while Miss Heywood and I can be happy together.” He replied reassuringly.

“You were indeed looking miserable last autumn….But I do not understand how you mean to fix your family’s great debt to me.”

“Miss Lambe.” Sidney replied with a sigh. 

“What, you’ve robbed your ward? What a rogue you are.” Lady Denham reacted with contempt.

He smirked: “Miss Lambe has been willing to invest under very favourable conditions. We’ll pay her back of course. But I _can_ guarantee you the return of your investment.”

“So you found another heiress to fool. Well, as long as I get my money back.” Lady Denham said resignedly.

“And you, Miss Heywood. I see you’re still foolish enough to value affection over wealth in marriage?”

“Indeed, I do.” Charlotte replied.

“I thought last month you had become wiser. Well, I hope you won’t regret it. You know, love can fade with time, you’ll find out all your husband’s bad ways and chance is that years from now you find yourself living in a small shack crowded with children you can hardly feed. If you marry for love at least make sure your house is large enough to avoid one another in case it doesn’t last!”

Sidney looked annoyed, but Charlotte laughed: “Well, thank you for your concern Lady Denham. But I think I’ve seen Mr. Parker’s worst side already and still I wouldn’t mind living in a shack if it’s with him.”

Sidney smiled with a humbled tenderness while Lady D. raised her eyebrows in amusement. “Do you? And you’ve seen his _worst_ side. Indeed, civility and courtship were never your betrothed’s strong points. Something you have in common, I guess.” Sidney and Charlotte both chuckled.

“Lady Denham, you argue love can fade. But as you have experienced fortunes can be gained and lost as well. What stays is character. And I can safely vouch that what I’ve seen of Mr. Parker’s character is that, whatever change in our affections or fortunes, I know I can rely on him.” Charlotte argued.

Sidney looked at Charlotte in admiration, and added: “And I know I can rely on Miss Heywood’s good character and practicability.”

“Well, maybe you have a point … but what of poor Mrs. Campion. Although ‘poor’ does not really apply. But to be deemed so awful a woman that not even half a million pounds make her attractive enough. What a humiliation!” Lady D. commented.

“Well, Lady Denham, I believe she’s being very well consoled by your nephew.” Sidney replied cynically.

“Oh, is she? So what you’re telling me she’s traded in one fortune hunter for another with a title? I hope for her that his title is compensation enough for his venality.” She said disdainful.

“Well, the general observation was they got on very well together.” Sidney added.

“Well, if Edward is finally doing what I’ve asked him, it’s fine by me. “Lady D. replied sarcastically.

“But of course, if you insist on being offended, we would by no means wish to displease you.” Charlotte added a little rebelliously.

Lady Denham attempted to look offended, but quickly burst out in laughter.

“Well, Miss Heywood, you keep amusing me, by obliging me to be simultaneously offended and pleased. It has made my walk here quite worthwhile. Well, I wager your fortunes will turn sooner or later.” And she left them again, while Sidney and Charlotte looked at each other and kissed with even more confidence and love than before, before anyone could interrupt them.

When they returned to London after two weeks in Sanditon, the news of the broken engagement of Mrs. C. to Sidney Parker had been spreading for almost three weeks. And rumours spread of a silver smith having to melt down a lot of cutlery because the initials S&E had to be changed to E&E, Mrs. C. had not cancelled the musicians and catering for the big wedding yet, nor the Church. A young couple with the names Samuel and Emma got hold of an exquisite set china table ware, lavishly decorated with green and gold decorations, for a bargain somewhere, while Mrs. C.’s gardeners were busy replanting a few hundred flower bulbs. There was much talk in London’s assembly rooms of how Mrs. C. had jilted poor Mr. Sidney Parker twice, while others whispered that they had seen Mr. Parker in Hyde Park quite often walking with one of Lady W.’s protégées and looking quite happy. Others commented they had confirmation of his being engaged to this young woman, an imprudent match considering her lack of dowry and his family’s financial troubles. But the news of their King’s death quite deferred all the attention of London society, many social events had been cancelled to mourn George III, thus there was little opportunity for gossip. Sidney and Charlotte prepared for their wedding and that of Georgiana and Otis in relative peace.

******************************

**A little sneak preview for season 3:**

At the end of February, about six weeks before the intended date of Charlotte’s and Sidney’s wedding, the new Mrs. Georgiana Molyneux, she had wed just a fortnight before, called on her old guardian at his London House. Sidney was just giving instructions to the workmen who were to refurbish Charlotte’s future bedroom.

“Georgiana!” he enthusiastically called out as he walked down the stairs to let her in his library.

“How does married life suit you?” he asked with a smile. “Has Mr. Molyneux left you happy and content, before leaving for sea again?”

But Georgiana’s face looked grave.

“My God, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Has Mr. Molyneux been ill-treating you? Was I wrong in permitting your marriage? Has anything happened” he asked, somewhat alarmed.

“No, she replied with a forced smile. “Otis behaves just fine. No, this is about another man’s misconduct.” looking at him sharply. “And I haven’t _seen_ the ghost, but apparently it can _write_.”

Sidney looked at her uneasy. He thought he and Georgiana had come to terms and that she had started looking upon him friendlier, but now she seemed to have returned to her old hostilities.

“I have had a letter from Antigua.” she said. “From Sally, if you remember her?” she added with contempt.

He looked at her in great shock. “Sally? Are you ridiculing me? Is she alive?”

“She _was_ when she drafted this letter.” Georgiana answered with an angry, sad voice, then calming down: “You’d better read it yourself.” handing him the letter.

He took it in his hands and starting reading the somewhat unorderly handwriting on the stained piece of paper. After reading it he just sank in his chair, with his hand in front of his mouth, unable to utter a word.

“Now, what are you going to do?” Georgiana asked him.

“I…” Sidney merely mumbled in confusion.

“Are you going to take your responsibility?” she asked with a strict voice.

After a pensive silence he agitatedly said: “Yes of course I will. Just let me think for a moment.”

“And will you tell Charlotte? If you don’t, I will! And you must tell her before she marries you. She must know the truth about you.” Georgiana threatened him.

He gave her an angry look. “I must.” he answered despondently. And after a pause, he resignedly added: “And I must go to Antigua on the first ship available.”

“What about your wedding then?” she asked.

“We’ll have to postpone it.” He mumbled with a sigh.

“If she’ll still have you.” Georgiana added cynically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the western world, women are perceived to have few rights in Islamic law. But compared to the rights of women in most European countries two-hundred years ago, Islamic law was quite women-friendly, as my feminist mom has often told me. The day that married women were declared to be legally mature (and could sign official documents in their own name) was one of the greatest days in history for my independent-minded grandmother. In many European countries, married women had no control over their financial assets, and after divorce or death of their husbands or fathers could be left destitute. (As Sidney explains to Charlotte why he believes Otis wnats to marry Georgiana in episode 6 of season 1: so he an squander her fortune). Of course, reality could be different, as in all societies where rules are made by men and interpreted by them...Since women's position is much discussed in Jane Austen's work, I thought I would point it out here (I hope it doesn't offend anybody, but if it does, don't hesitate to let me know.)
> 
> I'll continue with season three now, but I have to warn there will be a lot more adult content in there...


End file.
